A few points from a non-PG

Permission Request by Mister Shoebox on 2011-09-11 20:33:00 UTC Reply

Hi everybody!
It's been about 2 months since I've first been on the board and in the IRC. So, I kinda want to ask for permission with my first...um, permission piece.

Here are my Agent Bios:
(Gurgan)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/18E6-lE7OQ77kL5zFsQCo1vdPdTyX4HwBx3jXDC-G0MU/edit?hl=enUS

(Derwin)
<a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/10jxjc3Fn0SVmoks11srN5cMJdeSZ5P4GVGN5JEE6k1Y/edit?hl=enUS">https://docs.google.com/document/d/10jxjc3Fn0SVmoks11srN5cMJdeSZ5P4GVGN5JEE6k1Y/edit?hl=enUS

The Piece itself:
<a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1czxA2UgZcK3kM9UUeemDFHXgqWFTpuNhdYMLnq2kyg/edit?hl=enUS">https://docs.google.com/document/d/1czxA2UgZcK3kM9UUeemDFHXgqWFTpuNhdYMLnq2kyg/edit?hl=en_US

If it needs work, or if I need to do something different, by all means tell me: I am a Tabula Rasa ready to be filled.
Thanks a lot!

A few points from a non-PG by Phobos on 2011-09-12 00:27:00 UTC Reply

Having just given the potential agents a look-over (no time to go over the writing sample), I have a couple of notes for you:

1) The Department of Floaters does not have a Mary-Sue Division. I think you are talking about the Department of Mary-Sues, Freelance Division. Not a big deal. Easy to fix.

2) This one is just my two cents, but I have a few questions about the characters. Why does the one turn into a rooster? Why is the other so off that he needs dried frog pills, licorice, and Bleeprin to put him right? But the biggest question that I have to ask is: Do these things make them better characters or are they just gimmicks?

Thanks for the input! by Mister Shoebox on 2011-09-12 00:46:00 UTC Reply

Okay, fixed and edited.

To answer your question-I originally introduced Gurgan during an RP that involved him becoming a giant chicken. I want to keep it as a sort of nod to that-it was a lot of fun. Anyway, I'm not really going to use it as a character trait, more like a plot device: one more obstacle for the two to overcome periodically. As for Derwin's unstablitily, I want to gradually REVEAL why he went so completely nutso. Thanks again for the input and the advice, Phobos!

Derwin by Miah on 2011-09-12 18:30:00 UTC Reply

Having met Derwin in the "My Inner Life" MST, I have to say that he works pretty well as a character in practice. He's rather funny.