OT: And it grew in the Writing

OT: And it grew in the Writing by Gandalf the Beige on 2011-08-17 05:25:00 UTC

And it Grew in the Writing, Cont'd... by Gandalf the Beige on 2011-08-19 03:39:00 UTC Reply

This hasn't gotten any feedback, so I'll repeat my request for a mission Beta (in advance) and just fill out the rest of my story idea, specifically the investigators.

The Investigators in this story take... three forms, roughly. The first are the old, 1920-1960 breed that went in, shot cultists, took names and stopped the destruction of the world.

The second are the modern breed with Federal connections. With Delta Green itself (in my iteration, fic and possible RPG-wise), there are the official "Vowel Cells", who have plenty of backup to deal with Mythos activity. A and E cells are for kill-ops, where quick, decisive use of assets is important to safeguard humanity. I and O cells are for more delicate ops where the entities and cults are relatively benign or low powered, and the aim is to contain Mythos activity to a controllable area while leaving most of the human initiares alive and free to worship benignly. U and Y cells are the most delicate, where the aim is to actively seek Mythos assistance against much worse abominations (This group has a turnover rate typical of dealing with beings that create a psionic undercurrent as a matter of course). And then there's Majestic-12, which is pretty much like the Men in Black... only creepier, with a Brain-in-a-jar ambassadorial program, Shoggoth defense systems and Yithian outreach and library system.

And then there are the more typical cells in Delta Green, including civilian friendlies. Ten are connected to the Vowels, who use them as assets with plausible deniability. The others, however, do not follow official procedure or have sanction. These are the Lost 10; Some of them are merely considered fools and cowboys, who use just a little too much gunplay and assassination of witnesses in their mission to protect but are otherwise effective. Others, though... the Vowels think that some of these cells are one psychotic break from declaring Exterminatus on the entire planet, killing us all so the mythos doesn't get us first. Mostly the result of Battle fatigue and excessive SAN loss, there have been battles against some of these cells and the feds... sometimes with high body-counts. Executive opinion is that they are bordering on cultdom themselves and are extremely dangerous. One of these cells will be the antagonists in the first part of the story.

Basically, the mythos is inscrutable in it's motives... but sometimes, inscrutable can just as easily mean "Why is it helping us?" as "Why is it hurting us?".

Well, I've rambled again, and I seem to be the king of the empty thread. So here it ends with another quest for feedback and critcism on this little chunk of Mythos fanfic. What does everybody think

Headscratchers abound by gaijinguy on 2011-08-19 22:39:00 UTC Reply

Full disclosure: I don't know the Mythos, Delta Green, etc. etc. beyond the usual Hello Cthulhu and Ry'leh fhtaghn cheezburger jokes that you find on the internet.

I honestly don't get where you're going with this. The first post was a ton of backstory which I could kinda-sorta get into (it reminded me of "Our Town," and anything that reminds me of early X-Files is good) but a setting/setup isn't a plot. I don't know who the characters are, and I don't know what they're trying to accomplish or what's standing in their way.

Yes, I'm sort of bad on that by Gandalf the Beige on 2011-08-20 19:13:00 UTC Reply

The two primary characters are ones that I introduced during my first permission request. The first, one Joesph Clayton, is the son of insurance brokers in the northern Massechusetts town of Glaston, in the hills east of historic Dunwich. The second is one Marie Trinh, daughter of the proprietors of a pseudo-Vietnamese restaurant in the town and, until some months before the story begins, the only East or Southeast Asian family in town.

As the story begins, Joeseph and Marie, both high school sophomores, have been in a relationship for about six months but friends since childhood. Just as her parents restaurant is beginning to suffer vandalism from an unknown person or persons, Joseph informs her that 1) there is a "Heritage Day" variety show coming up soon and 2) there are people in this town that realize that the Trinhs are not mainstream Vietnamese, though only Joseph comprehends that the usual explanation of being Hmong or some other known minority. For the event, despite the worries of her parents, Marie performs the "stork dance", a traditional ritual of marking departure on and return from long journeys, in an archaic Four-paneled dress, white cloak and mask resembling the head of a black spoonbill. It is after this that Joseph, having performed something from Normandy, overhears that the vandal has been arrested, being the teenage son of another Vietnamese family that has set up a jewellry shop.

Years later, Joseph is in Miskatonic U as an Anthropology freshman while Marie, after high school, had disappeared back to Vietnam for a year. During an ethnographical trip to the highlands south of the city of Vinh in the selfsame nation (which turns out to be a government exclusion zone), Joseph, his elderly professor and several of his classmates are captured by fearsome tattooed warriors with shaved heads and sharpened teeth, wearing white kilts and wielding bronze weapons. Brought back to a valley village full of people, wearing kilts, short-sleeved jackets and Yem undergarments for the women, all sporting tattoos similar to Marie's parents, the party is intended to be tomorrow mornings sacrifice and tomorrow evenings barbecue.

However, a frantic (and now similarly tattooed) Marie manages to spare Joseph on account of his parents service to her parents (insurance brokers) while the divinations of the villages chief sorcerer-priest (and the fickle designs of Nyarlathotep) spares the others. Eventually allowed to participate in anthropological fieldwork among the villagers, Joseph discovers the full history of his girlfriends people, finds out about Delta Green cells both sanctioned and rogue from his professor (who pioneered negotiating with the more relatable cults and abominations) and also participates in a battle to protect the village from one of these rogue cells and their local military assets since one of his party turns out to be a traitor.

Aided by the darker sorceries of the warriors, men with bows and bronze swords and tattoos glowing with eldritch fire are able to deflect bullets and blades while Joseph helps the levied farmers, armed with old french rifles and a Hotchkiss machine gun from an earlier battle, fight off a flanking attack on the village. Eventually aided by a stampede of spectral Guar bulls and tigers, Joseph fights for a short while in the melee with his steel machete, the eldritch fire lending him some protection as it dances across his skin and leaves scars similar to the warriors tattoos. Upon returning to the village temple, the young man's jubilation fades as he finds that, after sacrificing the traitor, his professor sacrificed himself to finish the battle

Both Marie and Joseph develop a bit of a "laugh to keep from screaming" thing after dealing with battles and the occasional non-voluntary sacrifice of a gangster.

The future arc involves Joseph working with both the sanctioned DG cells and the Leng Viet to venture across southeast Asia, from northern Laos to Cambodia to the Burmese uplands and Rangoons underbelly in order to destroy Chaughner Faughn and his cult and recover the Book of Cracked Jade. Characters accompanying the primary character will include a Leng Viet archer who Joseph terms "spider eye" (need to think up proper names), a swordsman, a junior sorcerer from the village and a Delta green minder.

I hope that doesn't get too much more confusing.