I'm usually quicker on the uptake. As an apology for my tardiness, I give you a gallon jug of Glistening Oil (your life's not compleat without it!)

Have some Bleeprin, and don't forget to drop your sanity in the bin by the door!

Hello and welcome, dear newcomer! Have this conical hat (made from tin foil and duct tape) and a tea biscuit (it's got cheese in it)!

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Welcome to the boards. :)

Have a glow-in-the-dark hamster! If the sound of his exercise wheel keeps you up all night, you can entertain yourself until you fall asleep by staring at his fur, which is completely non-toxic to both you and the little guy.

Welcome to the PPC! Have a complimentary sentient, and possibly homicidal, A.I.. They're great at parties.

What are some of your fandoms? It's customary to list your active fandoms in your introductory post, but you don't have to if you don't want to. ^_^

Here's an antique pocketwatch.

Welcome, welcome, welcome!

One thing: We don't really bash authors. We bash fics. Authors are people too, you know.

Have a Holy Hand Grenade! (Warning: Do not use near rabbits or lagomorphs of any kind)

You had me worried, popping in on the wiki with nary an introduction.

Well, nice to meet you. As others have probably said, it's not the authors that we find objectionable but their work... many of us too wrote badfic when we were younger, and grew out of it.

The Badness is merely a passing state: a transient phenomenon of immediate ego, inexperience, or laziness. Or all three. Often the ulterior motives badfic authors have are not ill will, but merely obliviousness to their own unfortunate subtexts and trampling of canon.

Of course, if a badfic writer goes on to prove themselves to be a thoroughly unpleasant person, like anybody we'll all probably groan with disdain and move on with our lives.

But nice to meet you!

Have a hat. It is knit of the finest of pelts harvested from Cute Animal Friends. It is guaranteed to keep your ears nice and insulated in the darkest, most soul-shatteringly cold of badfic.

We don't really mistreat authors, but yeah, we find craziness to be appealing. So we make fun of it.

Here, have some Borodin for the road:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsTVF0Fu5_c

Greetings, new friend. I'm glad our community is interesting to you, and I hope you'll be sticking around for a while.

One thing I would like to bring up about our Wiki: it would be best if the number of links to TV Tropes was limited to very few. There isn't anything wrong with TVT, but we are not that site. We would prefer that our Wiki stand on its own merits as much as possible.

Also, I see you've made another post just above this one. New posts push old ones off the Board into oblivion, so it would have been better to add it onto this thread instead. In the future, just keep in mind that we want to avoid double-posting, please.

Nice to meet you.

I have one problem with your post: We don't treat authors (and they are authors, not "authors") badly, no matter how poor their writing is. We also do not find treating real people badly to be funny.

Just for future reference.