Subject: No worries.
Author:
Posted on: 2011-08-12 17:14:00 UTC
I did rather agree with Phobos, there, so I'm glad you took his critique to heart. I'll take a look at your request when I get the chance. And thank you-- it's always cool when people can look at their own stuff with a crit-ish eye. Makes me feel like you're a lot less likely to write a Sue, and that you'll be able to take responses with grace if someone does have a sticking point.
Hiya. I'm hoping this'll work; as such, I am hereby requesting Permission.
My agents' bios are here: http://astra-aurora.livejournal.com/11763.html
My writing sample is here: http://astra-aurora.livejournal.com/11876.html
The fic I intend to spork first is here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4766575/1/RosebelandHerLifeBefore
FTR, I edited the bio for Agent Ally and really hope that it's now better.
Agent Alison has no respect for authority, has a short temper, she is homicidal and amoral and, as such, has no problem killing and maiming, and lives by the motto "life is short, so why the **** not." So, my question is this: what is stopping her from maiming/killing anyone in the PPC? Especially the Flowers, who are disliked by many of the Agents.
And so, I am concerned that, perhaps, she is a bomb waiting to go off...and I don't think we will be waiting long.
"has no respect for authority,"
Most agents don't respect authority unless it's really awesome or powerful... i.e. the Flowers. Respect the Flowers.
"has a short temper,"
Most agents are temperamental, but in response to serious outside stimuli (stimulus? Or was that the wrong word /again/?), such as an orc having sex with an elf, which would make anyone grumpy, or having to watch an urple love scene without any Bleeprin. Or even with Bleeprin.
"she is homicidal"
Yes, I do remember that adjective being used in connection with either Jay or Acacia at one time or another.
"and amoral"
Which is definitely a sticking point, because we're supposed to be doing the "right thing". We're having fun, of course, but it's not just a general killing spree.
"life is short, so why the **** not."
Hmm. Why not what? Why not eat another bar of chocolate? Go ahead and eat that chocolate! Why not go around indiscriminately slaughtering? Because.
That's all I have to say.
*wanders off to find her old flameproof armor*
What you've said is true. None of these things, with the possible exception of amoral, are bad traits for a PPC agent to have. The issue I had was not with any one thing. It was with all of them together.
She won't maim or kill anyone in the PPC because they pulled her out of her personal hell- i.e., Panem- and she's forever grateful to everyone in the PPC for that. I probably should have mentioned that to her, the PPC is a massive improvement on what she's used to.
But if you feel it's needed, I'll alter her personality to be less dangerous.
I just realised that I turned her into a Jerk Sue. Please excuse me while I hit myself with a clue-by-four and de-Sue her.
I did rather agree with Phobos, there, so I'm glad you took his critique to heart. I'll take a look at your request when I get the chance. And thank you-- it's always cool when people can look at their own stuff with a crit-ish eye. Makes me feel like you're a lot less likely to write a Sue, and that you'll be able to take responses with grace if someone does have a sticking point.