Poor mini. The ghost foal was really cute. Oh, and the banana guns are a great keepsake! Half dressed gangsters--that was a hoot. The Smirk was a nice addition. Neat pet.

Not a bad first mission. You've definitely got potential. However, there were a few things that kinda got under my skin.

--The bulk of the story felt more like a MST than an actual PPC mission. Lots of snark and very little action in between blocks of directly quoted badfic text. It felt like you relied too much on the direct quotes from the badfic rather than on your own words.

--The voices of your agents did not feel very distinct. There seemed to be very little to distinguish one from the other, personality-wise. You should not be able switch the dialogue tags of your characters and still have your story sound like it works. More distinguishing agent-specific actions would help with this issue.

--This last bit is just my own personal sentiment, but I thought you got a bit too meta in places. You know, when you started breaking the fourth wall of the mission itself (retrieving the machine guns, for example.) It smacks a bit of showing off. Again, that's just my personal view. If that's the way you like to write, more power to you.

I look forward to your next mission.

RIP, miss Assihina. ;_;

Also, it seems like Haruhi destroying the world is going to be a standard problem in that continuum. New agents taking missions in it should probably get at least a warning about it, if not actual training as to what sudden fading color means.

I already said I loved it in the IRC chat, but this is just to make it official...or something :P

It was hilarious! And I especially loved the inclusion of the Elder Swear xD I hope to spot Cimarron galloping around sometime!

And that poor mini-Celestial...

My knowledge of the canon is pretty limited, but this was downright hilarious. Good work!

Another Haruhi Suzumiya mission!

Excellent job, had me laughing out loud in several places!

Hey, Kay used "By Andraste". Does this mean we get to see Dragon Age badfics later? Sweet!

Anyway, this was a really entertaining first mission. I laughed at Kay's reaction to getting shot in the ass.

This was a really fun mission. I'm looking forward to more! =D

You made me snort coffee all over my screen. Bravo!

I kept laughing all the time. I look forward to read more from you!

“Well, they’d be the ones exposing themselves-” That made me laugh out loud.

I don't know the Haruhi Suzumiya canon but, by Andraste, that was awful. Using the Elder Swear to show disapproval of this fic, seemed very appropriate.

On a not content-related note, I really like the book layout of the website.