Welcome to the party. Have a leather bound copy of Jay and Acacia's mission logs, and a box of plastic sporks.

Welcome to the madness Board!

Have a towel. You don't want to go anywhere without a towel. Far too useful.

Don't take anything too seriously, after all this is an organization headed by telepathic plants.

Proof read your posts before posting. They don't have to be perfect but this is a place where spelling and grammar matter.

Have fun! The way I see it the PPC missions are in large part a means of catharsis. A way of dealing with the brain hurt caused by terrible writing.

... and know us better, man! (Or woman, or non-binary.)

Have some ketchup and some windchimes.

We're always glad to have new members. :3

If you're wanting to be less confused, it's a good idea to go over the PPC Wiki (all the most popular pages and such of course, but just browse until you start getting the gist of things), read the original PPC series, read missions, and get active on the Board and the IRC channel (which I seem to be studiously avoiding due to my fear of actually talking to people in real time). Once you plunge into it all, you get a lot more comfortable.

1. Familiarize yourself with the traditional mission structure, but it is up to you when to close in on your quarry.
   
   2. If you just want to board, keep things fresh and always try to participate... something I've not always been able to do.
   
   3. Have fun.

Hi, here's a baby panda. Be careful with him- he has the ability to steal your soul!

You've already become a member just by replying. Remember, wait at least a month before attempting to write anything, and get to know us better!

So welcome!

Here, have some Guiseppi Verdi for the road:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2RirC4FLBU&feature=related

Advice: Read lots of missions, read stuff on the Board, have fun!

Here's a box of pens as a welcome gift.

Awww, it's alright we're nice. Just don't think about where you're going and you'll get there eventually.
Here is some blue peanuts to eat on your way.

Hey there! Have some chocolate, won't you?

Welcome, fellow newbie! Here, have a chainsaw!

Welcome, new friend! Help yourself to the bag of venomous arthropods. Don't worry, they don't bite!

Welcome to the PPC! I hope you enjoy your time here. :D

Have a sentient and possibly homicidal A.I.. They're great at parties.

Hi, have some fudge!

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/FAQ:ForNewbies