Indeed you are

The "My Immortal" of Portal by Jacer on 2011-06-29 02:22:00 UTC Reply

At least, that what it seems like to me. I can't tell if it's a troll or real, but I suspect troll. Involves (non-described) Cave/Caroline, guy!Atlas/girl!P-Body (who gets pregnant), and Wheatley/Marrissa (who gets pregnant). The phrase "and have his human/robot ball baby" is used several times, albeit misspelled. Apparently robots can smoke and do drugs, and have a "robot place" that Marrissa can kick when fighting. Incorporates an evil twin and time travel.

Oh, and Marrissa is the daughter of GLaDOS!Caroline (yes, while she's GlaDOS) and Ratman. Apparently Chell is her sister, the daughter of GLaDOS!Caroline and Cave (who changed his name from Gabe to honor his brother Cave who dies during the story).

What is this I don't even...

Probably NSFB.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7037708/1/ITSMYLIFE

"Hi my name is Marrissa Roberts an I was in Portal Labs two with Chell an Wheetly. This is my life! THE FINAL CHAPTER IS NOW RELEASED ITS THE MOST EPIC ONE YET SO REED IT!"

Am I allowed to claim it before getting Permission? Or should it just be left alone because it's troll-like?

PLEASE spork it. PLEASE. I am BEGGING you to spork it. by Yin on 2011-07-04 13:26:00 UTC Reply

Oh my grod. That is one of the WORST badfics I have ever heard of!!!!! Spork it.
Oh dear God the misuse of English slang... (nm) by Nikolaos on 2011-06-30 03:33:00 UTC Reply
My Immortal by Nikolaos on 2011-06-30 03:14:00 UTC Reply

If it's as bad as My Immortal it really doesn't matter if it's a trollfic or not, thanks for sharing.
Ohnogodpleaseno by Fish Custard on 2011-06-29 10:50:00 UTC Reply

*ahem*
I thought Portal might be safe from the clutches of truly awful fanfic, but it looks like I was wrong (note to self: if it exists, there is badfic connected to it).

I think you're right in suspecting a troll. The author clearly has a grasp of the Portal plotline and some of the theories behind it, and I doubt that someone with that level of understanding would intentionally butcher canon to this extent. Either way, it needs to die, and as Lleu mentioned, you are welcome to put your name down to do the honours.
Indeed you are by Lleu on 2011-06-29 03:08:00 UTC Reply

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Permission#Q.CanIclaimabadficbeforeIget_permission.3F

Not having played anything beyond two-thirds of Portal (the original), I can't really comment, but that looks like a self-aware imitation of My Immortal, in particular "Then Glados started to listen to some Avril Lavinge music and cry." — Avril Lavigne as a mark of people the 'Sue dislikes is setting off metaphorical bells.

Lleu

Re: Indeed you are by Watcher of the PPC on 2011-07-04 14:33:00 UTC Reply

As someone who has played both Portal and Portal 2 repeatedly, I can say that this is definitely another My Immortal wannabe just by the first few sentences. I can't help but notice this person has forgotten that Atlas and P-body are unable to communicate in any form other than electronic-sounding babble, among other obvious canon defilements. And making Chell speak? THAT IS UNFORGIVABLE.

By the way, since there are no Minis for the Portal series yet, I want to suggest Mini-Turrets or Mini-Personality Cores.