Hello there, new person.

Subject: Hello there, new person.
Author: Keily
Posted on: 2011-06-10 01:59:00 UTC

First off, welcome to the Board, it now owns your soul (or Heart, but I think youèd want to keep that).

That does sound disgustingly sparkly, however here are a few tips for reporting...

One, when reporting a Mary-Sue make sure to have a link to the fic the Sue is from so we can make a proper appraisal of said Sue and its awfulness ourselves.

Two, failing to link us, at least have a passage of the terible Suefic along with the title and its author.

And one more thing, never expect anyone to take a mission right off the bat - it's like expecting Harper to be thrown out of office. It'll happen, but not any time soon. XD Agents tend to be terribly busy, y'know. Plus writers for their own spin-off series tend to be busy and have a back-log of missions already lined up.

So, yeah...just wanted to state that. Sorry if I sound like an awful, awful, admonishing mean person. I just want things to be clear.

I thought Kingdom Hearts already had an OFUM, but I guess it's been a while since it was updated. Hope it works out for you. And remember, an official OFUM has to be approved by Miss Sandman~! If not you're an unofficial one. XD Yeah~! Regulations, regulations, regulations~! Would still love to read what you have for your OFUM though!

Also, that Sue does need to die.

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Incredibly Sparkly Sue by omega.alphawhiskey on 2011-06-10 01:42:00 UTC Reply

Hogod. I'm new to this. Recently discovered this wonderful thing here. (I mean, I'm writing a spin-off of OFUM for Kingdom Hearts on FFN, and when perusing other OFUs found out about you guys. Anyway.)

I have found this utterly disgusting Sue. Can beat SEPHIROTH at the tender age of what, ten? Specializes in strength, defense and magic. Super-cedes canon character. Grammar abuse. Can open Kingdom Hearts at will. No plot whatsoever; it simply traverses the plot of canon. Axel and Lea/OC. NYAGH. I am BLINDED.

Anyone willing to kill this Sue in a preferably agonizing way?

Welcome! by The 9th Blue Mage on 2011-06-12 01:40:00 UTC Reply

Here's a box! It's has a bunch of snacks!

And that sue...yikes! I'm pretty sure that Sephiroth wouldn't go down that easily at all, and nobody can specialize in all three of those abilities. And Axel...gah! That OC might as well have a neon sign that says "MARY SUE".

"Super-cedes canon character." Which canon character or characters are you talking about?

The opening Kingdom Hearts thing...no, just no. Also, how bad does the plot get derailed? I haven't read up on all of the Kingdom Hearts series story, and I am not reading all of the 96(?!) chapters of that badfic...

Forgot this! by The 9th Blue Mage on 2011-06-12 01:49:00 UTC Reply

Also, which series are you into?
Re: by omega.alphawhiskey on 2011-06-12 01:48:00 UTC Reply

Oh yum. Mind if I give some to my tiger? Hopefully these are made of fangirls...

I actually went on the Suethor's deviantART account and found out that the Sue's outfit is basically Aqua's in pink.

Basically all of them. I forgot to add the S. *grimace* Sorry.

Oh yeah.

Everyone's also pretty out of character. There are a lot of things that don't make sense, like in the first chapter she says that she didn't cry at her mother's death (yeah, um, where's her father? He didn't get mentioned at all.) but then when her mother dies she cries her eyes out and Lea and Isa try their best to cheer her up. Then after that it just goes through the canon plot. Classic KH Sue: meets up with Sora, Donald and Goofy, becomes best friends and dominates everyone and steals lines. At least she doesn't have a Keyblade.

Video Game Division reporting in! by Aster Corbett on 2011-06-10 14:19:00 UTC Reply

Hello, new friend!

Aster Corbett, of the DMS Video Game Division reporting in. Where is the link to this monstrosity? I want to see it...

Re by omega.alphawhiskey on 2011-06-10 16:13:00 UTC Reply

I put it in Generic Title, but here's the link if you want your eyes to be burned out. Bring much Bleepka, Bleeprin, what have you. And chocolate chip cookies. Comfort food.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6031968/1/BeginningsOfHope

You may also want to devise an especially agonizingly painful way for this Sue to die. Like...melting in lava in Mount Doom or thrown to orcs or better yet, Uruk-hai, or even better, thousands of Darksides. And the IC Nobodies.

Hello There! by OpinionedAngel on 2011-06-10 13:20:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your time here!

As for the Kingdom Hearts Sue... as soon as I get Permission (which I am currently working on), I'd like a crack at it. What's it called?

Re by omega.alphawhiskey on 2011-06-10 16:15:00 UTC Reply

*glances at mountain of donated chocolate* Always room for more. To quote of my friends, 'you'll do anything to get your chocolate fix.'

Beginnings of Hope. Here's the link.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6031968/1/BeginningsOfHope

Welcome! by Antigone68104 on 2011-06-10 12:40:00 UTC Reply

I can't help with the Sue, I don't know that canon. But have some fudge!
Welcome, here's a tall ship. by Khajidu on 2011-06-10 08:32:00 UTC Reply

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!
Have a Bengal Tiger! by Wikimaster on 2011-06-10 06:12:00 UTC Reply

Don't feed it Sueish meat.
Hola! by Kitty's Muse on 2011-06-10 04:51:00 UTC Reply

Have a pair of socks! They're useful whether you only need a clean pair to wear or you require an improvised weapon!
Hey, a new guy! by HerrWozzeck on 2011-06-10 04:16:00 UTC Reply

Sup? Welcome to the PPC!

Here, have some Colin McPhee for the road:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlNAEziZUM0
Poor Kingdom Hearts. So much badfic. by doctorlit on 2011-06-10 04:06:00 UTC Reply

Strength, defense and magic, eh? That's not specializing, that's being greedy. What did they do, get a Moogle to meld the sword, shield and staff from the beginning into one freakish super-weapon? When will people learn that characters that can do everything are dull?

Agreed. by omega.alphawhiskey on 2011-06-10 16:19:00 UTC Reply

Yeah. Did I mention that she can summon a katana called Hope's Sky, despite the fact that she isn't a Nobody and the katana isn't a mysterious and magical weapon like the Keyblade. No...it's a generic katana. She trained with Sephiroth who was a general in Ansem's castle yet somehow he still plays the same role as embodied darkness of Cloud's heart. ...?

I'm honestly not sure. Never underestimate the stupidity of a fanbrat--you will be amazed and incredulous every time.

New friend! by Lleu on 2011-06-10 03:58:00 UTC Reply

Have some House Roac hot chocolate:

Welcome!

Lleu
First plover! (nm) by Tawaki on 2011-06-10 03:25:00 UTC Reply
Hello there, new person. by Keily on 2011-06-10 01:59:00 UTC Reply

First off, welcome to the Board, it now owns your soul (or Heart, but I think youèd want to keep that).

That does sound disgustingly sparkly, however here are a few tips for reporting...

One, when reporting a Mary-Sue make sure to have a link to the fic the Sue is from so we can make a proper appraisal of said Sue and its awfulness ourselves.

Two, failing to link us, at least have a passage of the terible Suefic along with the title and its author.

And one more thing, never expect anyone to take a mission right off the bat - it's like expecting Harper to be thrown out of office. It'll happen, but not any time soon. XD Agents tend to be terribly busy, y'know. Plus writers for their own spin-off series tend to be busy and have a back-log of missions already lined up.

So, yeah...just wanted to state that. Sorry if I sound like an awful, awful, admonishing mean person. I just want things to be clear.

I thought Kingdom Hearts already had an OFUM, but I guess it's been a while since it was updated. Hope it works out for you. And remember, an official OFUM has to be approved by Miss Sandman~! If not you're an unofficial one. XD Yeah~! Regulations, regulations, regulations~! Would still love to read what you have for your OFUM though!

Also, that Sue does need to die.

Re? by omega.alphawhiskey on 2011-06-10 02:08:00 UTC Reply

Uh...hi.

Alright! I just need my brain though. XD

Thanks. I wasn't quite sure how to do this... *waves hand vaguely at posting board*

It wasn't that bad in the beginning. Then it got sparkly. Like, baby-cousin-that-has-a-fascination-with-pink-and-glitter-and-dumps-a-combination-of-the-two-on-your-plan-for-taking-over-the-world [which is also known as your art project.]. (true story.)

Alright. You'll need a lot of Bleepka and anything else. Including cookies and chocolate to make you feel better. Um...how do I post links?

I think I'll go with the link. But in case anyone wants to know, it was Beginnings of Hope by twilightgirl 456.

I wasn't. I mean, looking at all the BAD!fic (to quote myself, 'and I mean *bad*' on FFN, I can understand that you guys are terribly busy. But I salute and support your cause. Maybe I'll join someday.

Hi? by Elemarth on 2011-06-10 03:04:00 UTC Reply

You just copy the address of the first page of the fic into here. It'll hyperlink itself.

Should I be welcoming you? Or were you just here to drop off badfic? I'll go with welcoming. Have a generic pointy object in hopes that you'll use it to kill a Sue someday!

Generic Title by omega.alphawhiskey on 2011-06-10 03:16:00 UTC Reply

Okay. Thanks for that.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6031968/1/BeginningsOfHope

*spins GPO around in hand* Thanks. You can go with welcoming. I'll probably be lurking around here for quite a while. 'Cause Sue slaying is my favorite hobby. Full-time. I'm not likely to go insane, because, *evil laugh*, I already am. HA! (that was bad...) And yes, I totally agree--stare too long into the depths of fanfiction and the depths of fanfiction begin to stare back. After looking at the first line of troll-fic 'Gmail: Email for Google' I think I lost another marble...