Subject: Re: Optimus Prime and Jabba the Hutt?
Author:
Posted on: 2011-06-08 02:18:00 UTC
As soon as I got to "beautifully adorned rectum," I heard this high-pitched whistling noise come from my nose.
I think it might have been my soul escaping my body.
Ever heard of ComicsNix? Apparently, he's a fanfic troll- one of the best there is. At first, the appalling grammar and bizarrely deviant content make him look like any other smutfic writer, but it's highly unlikely that any ordinary badfic writer would be able to spell the word "phimosis", let alone use it correctly in a sentence. (If you're curious about what it means, don't be. Look it up if you wish, but you will most likely regret it.)
His FF.net account is right here. I suggest the story with Optimus Prime becoming Jabba the Hutt's sex gladiator along with Princess Leia Organa and R2-D2.
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2194474/ComicsNix
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5630946/1/Eternal_Memories
When I read "Card Captor Sakura" and "Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha" crossover, I hoped for a good story (Actually, most CCSxMGLN are, but they tend to become all dead fics. A shame). Judging from the published chapters, this one suggests "Suefic"
Alyxx (yes, with TWO X. Bad omen.) is the last of a lost race, is the Choosen One that has to lead a an army to stop the-end-of-the-world, has been appointed as leader of a squad including Nanoha (She is the Ace of Aces. It would have been more likely she was the leader, not Alyxx) despite being considered unable to even plot tactics by canons themselves, her Barrier Jacket is blatantly Fate's one with added speshulness, her device looks like reverse-engineered from Raising Heart (Nanoha's one, considered to be one of the best around). And there's a little too purple on her.
About the canon characters, Sakura woudn't interfere with an offical arrest (here, she even TRIED TO FREE THE FREAKING CRIMINAL!)and she would have been investigated about that. Yuuno was supposed to be a librarian and not a field operative. But the worst offence is here: Clow reed is not a freaking alchemist! And the explanation about the card's nature in-fic is absolute bulls**t.
And this author need a beta too, since there is a tendency to put words in the wrong order and similar errors.
*ends rant and breathes*
I found this in the author's profile, in a list of ways to know if you are a writer:
And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101.
Yeah, that explains a lot of things.
Optimus Prime and Jabba the Hutt? That is just weird.
He specializes in implausible crossovers- I saw one that had Batman/Robocop and another with Snape/The Teletubbies. There's also one that's a crossover between Batman, Superman, and Inspector Gadget. It involves MAD agents committing a killing spree with a giant lawnmower, a black hole in Penny's vagina, and Brain being interrogated with a "Gadget Dildo".
I cannot believe I typed that last sentence just now.
I was an Inspector Gadget fan (And I still like it.)
I am serious considering adding it in my "To kill" list.
...This may be the perfect troll ever. I /bow/ to his mastery of so-bad-it's-hilarious.
...are all the ones that are so bad they're brilliant?
Seriously. It's a bloody art!
Oh, that one. I was more focused on the one about Hermione fighting wizard fascist domination. o.O
It seems you have found the ultimate fanfic troll - and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
~Xani
Technically, it's Optimus Prime/R2-D2/Princess Leia, but it's still quite...out of the ordinary.
Let me illustrate the WTF inherent in this with a passage from said fic:
Potimus Prime: "Don't be afraid" said Optimus to R2 "I'll help you!" and Optimus bowels lights got on. Everything wwas iluminated and R2 really saw what it really was. A beautifully adorned rectum, full of portraits of Prime's human friends that already visited the place. A camera apppeared from a wall and photographed R2-D2, and immediatelly put a portrait of him on a the bowel wall.
He may be a troll, but he's certainly a good one.
As soon as I got to "beautifully adorned rectum," I heard this high-pitched whistling noise come from my nose.
I think it might have been my soul escaping my body.
I didn't even get to the part where Optimus reveals he has DISNEYLAND up his ass...