Subject: Pretty good
Author:
Posted on: 2011-06-08 17:54:00 UTC
It's pretty good for a first mission. It introduces your two agents nicely, which is good. It's hard to do a fic with no plot like this, but you seem to have done pretty well. I didn't catch any typos or things like that, which is good. I'm not familiar with the canon but I enjoyed it anyway.
I'm sure your missions will only get better with time. This is a good start, so keep up the good work.
Surhat and Roger's first trip into Word Worlds not their own, namely that of The Dark is Rising, on behalf of the Department of Floaters.
Wild Kingdom, in which Surhat Roac sw Caun and Roger Walters, with the aid of a Mon and some Magic, slay the supremely irritating Cassandra Griffin, alias "Cassie", strangely pointless Mary-Sue.
Enjoy!
Lleu
It's pretty good for a first mission. It introduces your two agents nicely, which is good. It's hard to do a fic with no plot like this, but you seem to have done pretty well. I didn't catch any typos or things like that, which is good. I'm not familiar with the canon but I enjoyed it anyway.
I'm sure your missions will only get better with time. This is a good start, so keep up the good work.
Glad you liked it! My next target is a much worse (still The Dark is Rising) fic, so it should give Roger more of a chance to show off his snark. Unfortunately, since it takes place immediately after this, Surhat still won't know the canon. Oh, well! I'll give them a break after that so Surhat can get some reading done.
Lleu
Blearg! It's been some years since I last read the Dark Is Rising, but I remember it as quite a bit more dignified than this fic.
And 'Point, What Point?' is a wonderful expression. It should catch on.
I'm gonna have that word stuck in my head for the rest of the week. It's gonna be a glorious week now, so thanks for that. =D
Fun times are had with this mission, and yeah, I think you were right with the "Point, what Point?" charge. It just seemed so pointless.
Good mission! =D
I'm glad other people enjoy Charpikirtlesaur as much as I do!
Lleu
And it might also be because I was a HUGE Pokemon fan back in its really big hayday. Of course, I'm one of those people who cannot believe how many damn Pokemon there are now: I think it was fine when there were only 250 Pokemon, thanks.
I've been a Poke-fan since RBY, and I really do enjoy the newer games despite all the hate. The Gen 2 remakes so far are my favorite games, but Black and White have been pretty cool.
It helps also that Generation II were The Best games, except for the huge power-level gap between the last gym and the endgame with Red.
Best value for money (one game, 16 badges!)
Also, HeartGold/SoulSilver fixed the issue of massive-grinding-required by allowing you to rebattle all the gym leaders at a certain time of day after getting their phone numbers (can be done after beating the Elite Four round 1 and defeating the gym leader in question). This is a VERY good way to level up your team for Red.
I especially liked your 'point, what point?' charge! You really wonder why the suethor bothered writing that story...
Minor (100% subjective) formatting nitpick: I think it may be better to edit your theme so that the text can take up more of the available screen width, as on widescreen monitors like mine you seem to get a thin column of text in a sea of yellow. (Better yet, allow people to choose!) Not a big deal by any means however.
It boggles the mind, really.
I don't love this theme, but it was the best I could find quickly; I'll probably poke around some more and find a better one if I can.
Thanks!
Lleu
There don't seem to be any themes that vary the width of a post by browser window size, but I'm now using the theme with the greatest post width. Not a huge fan of the glaring white background, but so it goes.
Lleu
Your agents seem to work well together and the mon was a great idea. Well done!