*about (nm)

Working on a mission, have a question: by Lleu on 2011-06-03 22:56:00 UTC Reply

I realize I haven't been by in ages (since I got permission, basically >.>), but I was rereading the HFA and was inspired to actually finish my mission; of course, now that I'm almost done with it, it occurred to me that I should probably check and make sure I'm not overreacting, because on the whole the problem with the fic in question isn't so much that it's bad as that it's nothing. The question I ask when I'm done reading it is not "WHY!?" but more "lolwut". It's a The Dark is Rising fic; the story is here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/253909/1/bCassandrabbGriffinb

There are some minor spelling and grammar errors (including persistent capitalization difficulties with quotations and a lack of semicolons), but the big things I'm charging it for are: encouraging Jane to commit suicide, making Will useless, creating the "mon" (though I think you will enjoy my description thereof), bringing anachronistic technology into the continuum, breaking the law (trespassing, disturbing the peace with this party plan, lack of animal control*), grossly misrepresenting the Wild Magic, and transcending Plot What Plot and becoming instead Point What Point.

* basically just an excuse for Surhat to adopt Star

I realize this is probably not the best of terrible starting points, but the other badfics I have picked out are intimidatingly long (and <a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4179212/1/bDarkbbFantasyb">intimidatingly bad) for a first mission.

Thanks and regards,
Lleu

Follow-up question: by Lleu on 2011-06-04 05:25:00 UTC Reply

Is there anyone who knows enough about The Dark is Rising and would be up for reading through the mission to see if it's terrible? It requires knowledge of at least The Dark is Rising and Greenwitch. It's on the long side, I think (5627 words), and I'm not sure how funny it is, as such — my agents have literally just met when the mission starts, and they're still getting used to both each other and the PPC (and, in Surhat's case, to being barred permanently, as far as he knows, from his home canon). Still, I think it has its moments.

If not, I think it'll probably be fine — I'll have another look at it tomorrow myself.

Thanks,
Lleu

I'll read through it just because. (nm) by Pretzel on 2011-06-04 22:37:00 UTC Reply

Thanks! (nm) by Lleu on 2011-06-05 00:52:00 UTC Reply

I think it's fine. by Elemarth on 2011-06-04 01:41:00 UTC Reply

If there is anything wrong with it at all and your agents will have something to say to each other, then I think it's worth killing for being totally pointless.
My thoughts by Pretzel on 2011-06-04 01:21:00 UTC Reply

It's okay if your first mission isn't full of danger and derring-do. Use it for introducing your Agents, and have them bitch and complain aout the insipid boringness in your stead.

*about (nm) by Pretzel on 2011-06-04 01:22:00 UTC Reply

Hm... by HerrWozzeck on 2011-06-04 00:14:00 UTC Reply

Hi, :D

Hm... Mostly what you're annoyed with is bad characterization, an incredibly egregious case of Excuse Plot, and other mostly-plot related things?

Sounds similar to what MY first mission is going to look like. My fic doesn't have that many grammar mistakes, and it has almost no spelling mistakes (there are no minis that show up, and thank god for that because I've already got way more than enough to cover), so I think it's all right that you start with the fanfic you're starting with.

Bad plotting makes many things just bad, so... yeah.

Though in your case, you have spelling errors in addition to all the stuff I've got wrong with mine. Can I just say that I think bad pacing is a sin of bad fanfiction and we can call it a day from there?

@HerrWozzeck and @Pretzel by Lleu on 2011-06-04 01:40:00 UTC Reply

Thanks — that's reassuring.