Someone should send the two Suethors links to the other's story, just to see them get into a flame war of "I did it first!" "But I did it best!"

But then on the other hand, they might decide to join forces. *shudders* So perhaps it's best not.

I can only imagine how tricky this was to write. The two badfics were both dripping with stupidity and boredom, and the similarities between the two OCs are a good example of how uninteresting Mary Sues can be. The mission went on pretty long, but I think it paid off. Well done!

I wrote a little scenelet of Miah and Cali retrieving Abbey from Tasmin and Allison.


BIP. BIP. BIP.

"Why is the console making that sound?" Cali asked as he edged away in case of an explosion.

"It's a message," Miah said. She pushed the button and read the message. "Agents Allison and Tasmin have found Abbey. They have her in RC 80."

"Oh thank goodness! I've--I mean Magee has been so worried about her."

Magee threw a spare microchip at Cali. Castor gave him a disapproving "Mrrw!" and fluttered over to retrieve it.

"Uh, yeah," Miah said watching the exchange. "Let's go get her before they manage to blow up the RC."

The two agents readied their distractions and left the RC. After several wrong turns, an encounter with Unger and the mini-Hound of the Baskervilles, Homles, and finding the cafeteria three times, they finally made it RC 80.

"We need better distractions," Miah said knocking on the door.

"Agreed."

Agent Tasmin opened the door. "You finally received the message, I see."

She stepped aside, and an ecstatic Abbey ran to Cali and latched onto his leg. He offered her chocolate, and she immediately let go to take the candy. He picked her up and set her on his shoulder where she grabbed a handful of his unruly hair to balance herself.

"I didn't know you could make her de-glomp with chocolate," Allison said from behind Tasmin in the RC.

"She loves the stuff--can't handle pure caffeine as well as the canon, though."

Dinozzo and Director Sheppard peaked around the corner, eying the chocolate.

"Please can they come with us?" Abbey whispered into Cali's ear.

Cali pointed at them and gave Miah his best impression of puppy dog eyes.

Miah sighed loudly. "Do they have homes?"

"They do not," Tasmin said.

"Well, we do seem to be running an NCIS mini adoption center. I suppose we could take them, at least until someone else wants them. They surely won't be lonely." Miah glared at Cali. "You are taking the blame with DoSAT for anything that gets destroyed."

She reached out to pick up Dinozzo. He apparently hadn't learned anything from being dropped on his head, because he tried for copping a feel. Miah didn't drop him. She threatened him. "I'm the only one in our RC that can cook bacon," she said seriously.

Dinozzo thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I apologize sincerely, Miss."

He scrambled up to her shoulder and sat quietly. Director Sheppard apparently also took the threat to heart, because she made no fuss about being placed on Cali's other shoulder.

"Thank you, and I suppose that if you ever can't find a home for NCIS minis you can always give us a page," said Miah.

"We'll keep that in mind," said Tasmin before she shut the door.

"Let's go pick up the supplies for these two, and head back home," said Cali.

*0*0*0*



I think I'll open an NCIS Adoption Center in Miah and Cali's RC.




I found a couple of typos in the mission:


Ziva and the Sue took the sheets off the bed and put them in evidence backs.

Her wet her was dripping on her shoulders.




I really liked smart alec commentary in this mission. The opening with a movie reference, which was fandom appropriate and then the head slap that was also fandom appropriate. I found a few lines things that I really liked:


Gibbs came walking down with his usual coffee in his hand.
"How stale would that coffee be?" Allison asked.


Tasmin took a deep breath. "You're still gonna do that, right? Even if I say no."


"If Gibbs didn't kill her for stealing his coffee, I don't think a random guy with a knife is going to be any more successful."



"Yeah, that would be something." Tasmin opened another portal. "Let's go back to the office and see whether the cat has returned his tongue."



"...and find these minis some responsible agents to take care of them."

Allison raised her eye brows.

"Or, you know, agents."

I don't particularly like NCIS (I prefer Criminal Minds personally) but from what I do know about it and crime shows in general I could tell that you did a great job with pointing out the things wrong with the two fics. Plus that double sparking was pretty cool. ;]

It was a really good mission. A little hard to follow, but I really enjoyed it.