Subject: Re: New Mission
Author:
Posted on: 2011-04-28 06:26:00 UTC
The first thing I'd like to say is, even though I posted a new mission just eight days ago, it had been finished since the end of March. There was just a bit of a delay with beta stuff. So I've been working on this mission since then, and it's now all ready for release.
Stargate, T-Rated
Agents Orken 7861 and Thomas Greenwall brave bad grammar, a fake prophecy, Rodney bashing, and an unintentional Blackhole!Sue in 'Sleeping Sue and the Eight Minis.'
https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1ZhwpLifhjjQ6bDWMjOTaUKfCXPWaiP6g9ziOOMr6mns
As the title implies, the sporked fic generated eight minis. Seven are up for adoption.
Mini-Wratih:
Altaeran
Altaerans
Asusrans
Dr, Weir
Ronnon
Mini-Unas:
Col. Crater
Lt. Colonel Samantha Cater (Adopted by Caddy-shack)
Sg-1
As always, crit is appreciated, as are general comments. I can't get better at this if you guys don't tell me what I'm doing wrong!
It's super effective!
I really don't want to post my missions (when I get Permission for them) in the Pit, so where do you post yours, and how can I post stuff there?
A lot of people use LiveJournal as well, and it's also free.
I keep the actual missions in Google Docs. It's very simple, and it takes three seconds to edit typos. I also have a Freewebs sight, where I have all my missions linked.
Google docs is easy. Go to Google, click the "more" tab on the top, scroll down, and click on "documents." Create an account, and the rest is pretty easy.
Freewebs is very user friendly and took me a grand total of ten minutes to figure out.
There was a lot I liked about this mission. It is probably the best mission I have read in a long time. Hats off to you for slogging through that horrible grammar and canon warping.
Likes: The cold mite. Maybe. That was great.
That Thomas kept repeating his name and RC number. I had never really thought about what to do in that kind of situation, but that seemed to fit perfectly.
The quotes were well balanced by action, and thoroughly contributed to the mission.
The way you give point of view to the minis. I am especially liking O'Neil. I wonder what evil plots he has in store for Thomas now that he has confirmed that Thomas is humoring him, and not actually understanding his speech.
The agents' personalities are really coming together. Either of them separately I don't think would be very entertaining, but the two of them together balance very well.
I hate it when fanficcers engage in Rodney bashing, so I was glad to see how angry Thomas got about that.
I'm glad that you saved the Science Lad with the Simgen--that was really bad.
I was with Thomas on being ready to pulverize the Sue, but in the end, I agree with Orken. It was a thoroughly satisfying ending.
Improvements: There were a couple of places where the bolding of the quotes seemed to drop for a word or two.
I know they collected the minis at the end of the mission, but I was wondering all throughout where the minis were. Did they just leave them where they found them and go back? That would be fine with me, but I wasn't very sure.
Thought: What would happen if two minis fell in love and started a family according to whatever means was normal for their species, would they have little mini children? I've got Hauk'Tauri, and I've been wondering what would happen if he and Col. Crater liked each other. :D
That comment was from me. To Guvnor. I guess I was thinking about talking to him and typed his name in?
I don't know.
Anyway, that was not a very nice comment by Guvnor to himself. That was me, Miah, being derpy.
"Improvements: There were a couple of places where the bolding of the quotes seemed to drop for a word or two."
That was on purpose. The unbolded words were mine, used to make the quote fit with the action. I'll see if I can avoid that in the future, but I really wanted to use a couple of the quotes, and couldn't have otherwise.
"Improvements: There were a couple of places where the bolding of the quotes seemed to drop for a word or two."
That was what I was going for. Dragging around eight minis would have bogged things down. I will try to make that more clear in future missions, should I do that again.
"Thought: What would happen if two minis fell in love and started a family according to whatever means was normal for their species, would they have little mini children? I've got Hauk'Tauri, and I've been wondering what would happen if he and Col. Crater liked each other. :D"
This is an interesting thought. Perhaps a thread should be started about it?
Also,does that mean you want to adopt Col. Crater?
Thanks for the comment! I'm glad you liked it.
Look around for the string "voice voice". I think that's a typo.
Mini-Wratih should be mini-Wraith.
...for future reference. The cursed lack of an edit button means I can't fix it now. I was never real clear on the rules for that. I capitalized it because the was a heading.
... the 'Wratih' part.
hS
I see it right here.
It's just a matter of making sure to use the preview button and checking carefully.
Also the post reply message is doing something really fruity. It's nesting your message a couple of times in itself.
Apparently it's an image? Did you do that yourself?
He could have easily caught it if he went through with bothering to preview the message and look it over completely before just posting it blind.
It's not that hard to put the teeniest bit more effort into making sure things are spelled correctly or that links and such aren't screwed up.
... spelling mistakes were all Toey's fault?
hS
July, I did preview it and look it over. I did not see it. It is one spelling error, of a word not caught by spell check due to the 'mini' prefix. My point about an edit button still stands.
Oh God...the mini of a mini...what would it be...? An even smaller version of the typical mini? Something else? @.@
But, since it's a mega of a mini, then it would just be a normal-sized whatever it is. See, you can't have a mini-mini-Wraith. The two minis cancel each other out, see?
Admittedly, that explanation isn't correct logically or grammatically, but it would probably be more amusing. It's probably best to avoid things going recursive as well. Anyway, a mini-mini would probably get stepped on or something as soon as it got into HQ.
On the other hand, mini-mini kind of rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?
Enough said, I think.