Subject: Great mission
Author:
Posted on: 2011-04-23 16:31:00 UTC
Great touches: The mini-Lincoln's tiny, yet charismatic voice, and way of speaking.
Rachel's calm assertion that she has to learn to cope with this stuff, but permission to go throw up as she wasn't coping as well as she'd like--it was a character building break in her extreme enthusiasm.
The mini-Stu attacking Laura. I've seen mini Sues or Stus mentioned before, but I don't think that I've seen one be so immediately hostile. That immediate hostility really makes sense. The mini-Stu is outside the story, so he can instantly see the other elements that are outside the story, like the agents.
The part where Rachel misses all the warning signs of an imminent explosion from Laura. I really thought she had just killed the bit Stu when Danny heard all the pops. I was wondering what kind of trouble they'd be in now, so I was rather relieved when she hadn't killed him.
The Capital Mortuary trick was inspired. It reminded me of the psychic paper trick that the Doctor does, but I never would have thought of trying it in a mission.
The dessert coma suit that the one guy was wearing--both disgusting and brilliant.
I don't know the Fallout verse at all, but this sounded really, really bad from a canon point of view. The original grammar and language usage was truly revolting. I don't know how you get through such butchering of the English language in your missions. The mini-Stu and dessert coma outfit guy kills were a little violent for my tastes, but fit in well with the agents and (guessing based on other video games I do know, which would make those look very tame) video game deaths.
I didn't remember Danny carrying a sledgehammer. I don't why I didn't remember, but I like that he is using a much less common weapon. The sledgehammer combined with his kind of proper and quiet manner is really nice.
Nothing stood out to me as needing improvement, so I don't have anything else to add, I guess. Except maybe, nice mission.