Have a shining star, just in case you feel like sailing any tall ships.

The username, I mean. You're not the only lurker here, y'know.

Ah, well. If that's the only thing about you we can find fault with, you're doing good. Welcome to the PPC, mate. Have a fuzzy scarf, for thy sins.

Welcome, new friend! Here, have this memory stick.

Here, have a conical hat! It's made tin foil (to keep the conspiracy theorists out) and duct tape (so it's indestructible)!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Have a Grizzly Bear, don't feed it Suevian Honey.

Welcome to the Boards, delicious friend! Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat, a large bat and the Death of Rats.

It is great to have you aboard.

Hi, have some fudge!

... Would you like a face to staple on your face?

Or a face to staple on to another person's face?

Welcome, Ex-Anonymous! Have some superglue and duct tape, you really can't go wrong with that!

Hope that you enjoy your stay here!

Also, good luck with your goal!

Welcome, new friend! Have a vampire Slayer. (Get it, 'cause you're a Watcher? Ha ha, I am so clever.)

Welcome to the board. Have fun, and keep off the imaginary grass. It's for your own protection; imaginary grass is vicious.

Hello.