Subject: Funny...
Author:
Posted on: 2011-03-12 03:51:00 UTC
Looks like someone knows that I know Final Fantasy.
But...can you figure out why I put "9th" in my username? The username itself is a combination of the color blue and the FF Blue Mage, but then it would be just "The Blue Mage" if the combination was just those two.
Hint, hint: The "9th" part is related to the color blue, making the three parts all related to blue in some way.
It's been awhile since we had one of these, so here it is! The PPC Boarder Shipfic Fest, 2011.
For those of you poor souls that are confused as to what this means, it means writing ship fic (or snippets) for us here on the board!
There are generally two rules:
1) Don't ship anyone who doesn't want to participate. So if you're game? Awesome! Shout about it in here, let everyone know. If you don't want to be shipped, also shout loudly and let everyone know.
2) Keep it PG-13ish or lower so that no one is unintentionally heavily traumatised.
The third rule is, if you're going to be involved as being shipped, do some shipping yourself! Write! Comment! Giggle! Reply! Make terrible innuendo filled jokes that clog the gutter.
You are heavily encouraged to write reply fic involving the person who wrote you in one.
On your mark, get ready, SHIIIIIIIIP!
(You can take this thread as my being amendable to being shipped.)
Ignore this.
Guvnor looked over his shoulder- He had managed to escape molestation, for the most part. He heard a soft hummed rendition of ‘white and nerdy’ coming from the restroom. He fought the urge to look, and continued on.
“Why do they always do that... I love that sone.” He said sadly before he realized the error of his ways “I MEANT SONG! SONG!” but it was too late. He heard a soft giggle from behind him. There was a sharp prick on his arm and suddenly things started looking a little hazy and... sexy?
The last thing he remembered seeing was being tackled by a questionably dressed Sonne.
Pretzel, having felt rather lonely the past few hours, wandered around the Board, deftly dodging those of her fellow Boarders who had found their own form of entertainment as she walked. She had discarded the hula dancer outfit a while ago, and now was clad only in a few very wide silk ribbons that were strategically placed on her body. A spare one was tied rather jauntily around her head, serving no real purpose but to flutter prettily on occasion as Pretzel walked.
It took her some time, but eventually Pretzel found someone entirely unoccupied with anyone else; he was also fully dressed and still surrounded by his newbie gifts. Pretzel nodded in satisfaction. He would do wonderfully.
Untying the ribbon from around her head, Pretzel snuck up behind the unsuspecting newbie and quickly looped the ribbon over his head, using it as an impromptu blindfold. This took some skill, as Pretzel was about three inches shorter than Teddy, and barefoot to boot.
'Hey there,' Pretzel said with a grin, even though Teddy couldn't see her do so. 'You look like you're a bit lost. Need someone to show you around?'
Teddy, having found that Pretzel had neglected to restrain his hands in any manner, merely pushed the blindfold off his head and then turned around. His eyebrows rose at the sight of Pretzel's unconventional attire- the ribbons were a dark coppery color rather than the more traditional red one might expect, with three gear-shaped pins holding the entire ensemble together in key places -but then he shrugged. For all he knew, it was traditional to send a ribbon-clad woman as a guide for newbies, though he wasn't entirely sure about that.
'Sure,' Teddy replied. 'Although, I've got to ask, is this-' He gestured at the chaos going on in the Board at the moment, 'normal, or is there something going on?'
Pretzel blinked, and then looked around her. 'Oh, this?' She waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. 'Nah, this is a special occasion. As a matter of fact, why don't you follow me, and I can tell you just how special it really is.'
There was a dark chuckle from behind Pretzel, which made the petite Boarder turn around, the ends of her ribbons flaring out a bit as she did so. Behind her was a carbon copy of Teddy, though this one was sans goatee and was dressed in a stylish black suit. Teddy groaned.
'I thought I got rid of you a while ago,' he said in annoyance. His twin merely smirked.
'I'm your evil twin, Teddy,' evil!Teddy said. 'You can't get rid of me that easily.' He turned to Pretzel, who was looking mildly apprehensive. 'Now, about that tour?'
Pretzel looked from one Teddy to the other and then back again, shrugged, and then nodded. 'Sure, why not? The more the merrier,' she said, a few tantalizing thoughts running through her head that involved finding out just how many uses ribbons actually had. She picked up the one she had used as the temporary blindfold and then beckoned to the two Teddys. 'Follow me...'
OOC: Yes, dearheart, those ideas did pan out! In fact, it's given me several ideas for when I start writing, so cheers for that! Also, that slash is very funny indeed :) Right, I'd better get cracking...
"I had no idea ribbons had so many uses..." Teddy said wistfully as he walked out of the side-room, to which he had been led. Teddy's evil twin had stayed behind, to do lord-only-knows. Actually, Teddy knew exactly what he had stayed behind for. Some people were never satisfied... He wandered off, naked save for a piece of ribbon which he'd stolen from Pretzel. He wore it like a fig leaf. As he rounded a corner, he began to sing 'I'm in The Mood For Dancing'.
"Ah, I thought he'd never leave," Evil!Teddy said softly. "Now for the second course! Seconds!" He giggled maniacally, sauntered to his discarded suit, and started rummaging through the pockets. Pretzel pulled a face halfway between excitement and worry. He WAS evil, after all - there was no telling what he was looking for. She began to fiddle with a length of ribbon, discarded earlier, which was laying close-by.
"Aha!" Evil!Teddy shouted, seemingly at the top of his lungs. Pretzel jumped, fixed her eyes on Evil!Teddy, and involuntarily turned her expression to one of horror when he turned and revealed what he was holding.
"Jaffa cakes and... And a jar of mayonnaise?" She quickly regained her composure. "What are those for?"
"Use your imagination," Evil!Teddy cooed. Pretzel stared for a second, then grinned as Evil!Teddy started to walk towards her, condiment and snack food in hand.
"Oh, I see..."
Though I did have to look up what Jaffa Cakes are.
You don't know what Jaffa Cakes are? You haven't lived!
We don't have them here. Or if we do, I've never seen or eaten one.
You have my pity.
Heh, I'm practically addicted to the things.
Meta darted through the room, still dressed in the bizarre blue dress he had been made to wear.
"Oooh, room full of naked people." He paused for a moment, eyeing was was in Evil!Teddy's hands. "Jaffa cakes."
One rapid dash and the Jaffa cakes were in his own hands and he was fleeing the scene of his latest crime, laughing and eating jaffa cakes [never an easy thing to do.]
Teddy was on his fourth rendition of 'I'm in The Mood For Dancing' when a man in a blue dress ran past him, eating jaffa cakes while simultaneously laughing.
"Were those... Jaffa cakes?" Teddy mumbled to himself. Deciding that, yes, those were indeed jaffa cakes, Teddy bellowed at the strange cross-dressing man to "Stop! Now, damn it!" Meta turned and blew a raspberry at Teddy, spraying chunks of delicious jaffa cake.
He made off after Meta, eager to steal the jaffa cakes.
"Gimme 'em!"
Hear the shouts at him to stop Meta stuffed another Jaffa Cake into his mouth before reaching into the cleavage of his dress and turning on his i-pod, the Benny Hill theme tune blasting through the halls to make the perfect chase scene.
Teddy still hot on his heels Meta burst through a small cupboard, almost stepping on Aster and DS, both in various states of undress before finding the back door of the cupboard and continuing to flee.
Neshomeh's riding crop creaked as she wrung it between her tender hands. Then she seized Cassie by the jaw. "Your characters. You have so many..."
Cassie nodded through her ball gag.
"So many... so undocumented..." a red-lipstick smile twisted over Neshomeh's face. "You're very prolific, aren't you?"
Tenderly, she teased the gag out of Cassie's mouth. "Yes'm," Cassie whimpered in pleasure.
Neshomeh laid her lusty crop over Cassie's luminous rump. "You know what happens when you make wiki pages without citing character appearances?"
"Spankings?"
"More than just that, my scrumptious cupcake."
At that moment, Cassie's own ensemble poured in, impeccably unclothed.
All forty of them.
The mental images... they may never go away.
I love this one so very, very much. XD I may just store these fics somewhere on Gdocs for posterity.
(( I cracked up at that, so here's yours, Aster! ^_~ ))
Aster Corbett strutted her leather-clad stuff before the line of tied and hooded wiki editors.
"You've all been bad," she purred, twirling a pair of handcuffs. "Very, very bad."
Suddenly, she cozied up to Wiki Editor 1, straddling his or her hips—it was kind of hard to tell which through all the chains.
"Your articles are so short, I could just nibble them right off."
The editor beneath her moaned, and she dismounted just as quickly as she'd sat down and moved on to Wiki Editor 2, rubbing up against his or her backside.
"You just love having characters, but you don't like spending time with them, do you? You're shiftless."
She tore Wiki Editor 2's shirt clean off, and he or she screamed.
"And you," Aster growled, moving on to Wiki Editor 3. "You, with your hot redlinks. I'll teach you to follow through." She roughly cuffed Wiki Editor Three to a handy pole, where he or she quivered in anticipation.
"Now, all of you, beg me to forgive you. Plead with me to teach you proper article-writing skills. Grovel, and I might give you the satisfaction." Aster smiled a black-lipstick smile and waited for the music to begin.
(It's not considered bad form to write about oneself in these, is it?)
PitViper darted through the hallway, throwing nervous glances over her shoulder. There was no sign of her pursuer, at least not yet, so now was a good time to find a hiding place. A door loomed up in front of her; she could hear voices and high-pitched giggling coming through. With a shrug, she turned the knob and opened it.
The Boarder halted in her tracks, her eyes wide. "...Oh. I'm... I'm terribly sorry, I... I... I seem to have... oh."
"Hello, Pit," Cassie greeted cheerfully, acting for all the world like she wasn't standing around in her lingerie.
"Hi," Phobos put in. He was also half-naked, and bound upright and spread-eagled to what appeared to be a large mounted wheel. It was still spinning slowly, finally halting when the Boarder was upside down. There were various other odds and ends in the room, and in... certain places.
"Buh," was all PitViper could manage at first. She examined the scene before her more closely. "O... Kay... Is that a tea cozy?"
"Yep," Phobos replied, his face flushed from being upside-down.
PitViper's head tilted to the side.
"You'll never guess how many spoons it took," Cassie told her proudly.
PitViper decided to hazard an educated guess. "Um. Three?"
"No. Just one."
"Oh. Okay." PitViper gestured vaguely over her shoulder. "I'm going to, uh... you know. Go. I have to go... iron. My... shoes. New shoes. Goodbye."
Turning, she left the room and closed the door behind her. She could hear Cassie's voice inside saying, "Now, where were we?" right before PoorCynic appeared right the hell out of nowhere and tackled her enthusiastically to the ground.
((OOC: *hysterical giggling* PVOD, I salute you. XD)
Some time later, PitViper had managed to escape PoorCynic; it had taken four rounds of enthusiastic activity before he passed out, leaving her free to tiptoe away and then run like the wind once she was out of earshot.
As she leaned against a wall to catch her breath, she heard footsteps approaching, and looked around hurriedly for a place to hide. A nearby door presented itself as the ideal solution, and she dived through and locked it at once.
She froze, however, as an arm encircled her waist from behind. "Hello there," a familiar, female voice murmured. "We thought you wouldn't be coming back..."
"I... uh..." ...wasn't planning to, PitViper thought, but the words died on her lips as she was drawn away from the door and across the room. She noticed the large mounted wheel was now empty and pushed to one side to make way for - "Is that a giant beanbag in the shape of a bed?"
"Yep," said Phobos proudly, from his prone position on it.
"How'd you even get it in here?"
"You're asking silly questions," Cassie muttered, tugging PitViper down onto it. Phobos reached over to pull both girls closer, and very soon all thoughts of questions, silly or otherwise, were the last thing on PitViper's mind.
When PitViperOfDoom woke up she had trouble remembering how she had come to be lying naked in this unfamiliar bed. The last thing she recalled clearly was PoorCynic appearing right the hell out of nowhere and tackling her. Where was he, anyway? She turned her head and found that he was sitting in a chair nearby, just watching her as he peeled a hard-boiled egg.
"Ah, good," he said. "I was wondering when you would wake up."
"Um, yeah," said PitViper, "thanks for making sure I was all right, but I have to be going. I have... soccer... rehearsal."
"But you can't go yet," he said as he stood up. "I made this hard-boiled egg for you."
"No thanks," said PitViper as she edged toward the door. "I'm not hungry."
"Who said anything about you eating the egg?"
"Wait... what are you...? Oh god, why? No...oh, I see. Continue."
"Yeah, well, you wield a sword like a girl!"
"I am a girl! And at least I didn't bring a gun to a sword-fight!"
"Oh, who cares about your stupid rules! The point is--"
CLUNK! There was a loud noise from behind the (shaking) door, followed by another bout of progressively louder shouting. The small group outside the door looked at each other.
"Well," said Phobos, "Looks like they're going to be at it for a while."
Data shook his head. "I knew this wouldn't end well. At any rate, I'm getting hungry. Anybody for the Cafeteria?"
The others nodded, and they headed down the hall, aimlessly not-thinking about their destination, or food.
Behind the door, the shouts continued for a few minutes, then paused. July's head poked outside the door. "Hah!" she laughed triumphantly. "Thought they'd never leave."
Aster's voice came from behind her, silkily; "Then if we're in the clear, let's get back to... 'quarreling,' shall we?"
July pulled her head back into the RC, shut the door, and grinned at Aster. "Indeed we shall."
Very well, you can ship the everlasting hell out of me, so long as you keep me relatively in character (which may be awkward since I don't yet have Permission).
Teddy's character: Average height and slightly athletic build, dyed blonde hair (although it's natural blonde underneath), blue eyes, goatee. Straight. Usually grumpy, and occasionally enters psychotic rages when presented with intense canon-defilement.
Also, have fun, everyone! Good luck with your shipping.
In case there's any among you thought that "the goatee doesn't mean anything", I'm male!
I thought you might be someone's evil twin from the Mirror!Verse.
Ship to your heart's delight. Just not me, please. *puppyeyes*
*Knock, knock* Jacer crossed the room, opening the door to find a hallway full of people outside. They were all in various states of undress, even the ones who for sanity's sake really shouldn't be.
"Come on join in the fun!" Shouted Arrow, pushing to the front.
*Slam!* Jacer walked back to the chair by the fireplace and began reading again. "Stupid, horny, jackwads."
*giggle*
Not that I'm uneasy with the whole shipping thing, I find it hilarious. Just if it's me being shipped with someone. The idea is just...disturbing. ;D
Honestly, for the sake of being unambiguous, if someone opts out you really shouldn't post something like that in the description, in case of misunderstanding. We do try to be tolerant of different perspectives here.
I didn't even THINK about it. I apologize to Jacer for that.
Cassie was trying to find an empty place. She was feeling alone and wanted to join someone.
After opening a few doors, and already disappointed because she was shouted to leave in every place, she decided to give a last shot and was about to pull open the door at the end of the corridor, when L'Homme opened it and looked directly at her.
"I heard you coming. Sorry but we're busy." He said.
"Is there something interesting there? Can I join?" she asked, her eyes big and bright, like Bambi's.
"I'm afraid no. We're just practising our... er... linguistics skills."
"Vaffan...! You're standing on me!" Someone shouted inside the room, suspictiously sounding like Sergio.
"Sorry, the room's too small." Someone else answered, this time sounding like Meta.
L'Homme turned to look into the room and said:
"Mon Dieu! Can you stop shouting?"
Cassie took the opportunity to look into the room too, and saw Meta in a blue dress, tangled up with Sergio, both lying on the floor. In that moment Meta looked up and caught Cassie's eyes.
"What?" He asked. "Their linguistics skills improved a lot. They talked me out."
(Sorry Sergio for making you curse. Hope you don't mind too much)
Sonne tiptoed through the Board. Her encounter with the 9th Blue Mage had gone...interestingly, but she still wasn't eager to have another one.
Meanwhile, L'Homme Arbre strode along, muttering to himself. He was regretting shooing Cassie away - while he was convincing her to seek entertainment elsewhere, Sergio and Meta had sort of gotten intimate without him, and things became awkward quickly. So now, he was roaming, looking for another likely target.
Sonne felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see who it was, and was suddenly spun around by someone she couldn't see. She felt herself fall over, but was caught just as suddenly, coming face-to-face with L'Homme Arbre. Just then, she realized that she was in some sort of tango position, practically bending over backwards in his arms.
Violin music filled the air, spontaneously generated by the inherent drama of the moment rather than any material musician. Before she could protest, or even think, he spun her around again, and they begun to dance a dramatic French tango, L'Homme leading the way.
They danced almost directly to one of the many doors along the corridor, and with a deft flick of the knob incorporated seamlessly into the dance, it was open. The partners twirled there way in, and with another deft flick, the door was closed. The violin music ended with a flourish.
There was a soft thump, and a loud moan. "Ma cherie..." Then, there was naught but pregnant silence.
AN: Consider this payback for my own OOC-ness. For your information, I've never said 'Mon Dieu' in my life. Therefore, my sudden urge to is all your fault.
Sorry, but my French goes as far as "Mon Dieu", "Je m'apelle" and "Avant enfants della Patrie" :D (Hope I wrote that right).
'M'apelle' has 'M'appelle, and 'della' should be 'de la', but other than that, you're good.
Meta is a he? I forgot to say that I am a straight male and, even if I have nothing against homosexuality, I feel uneasy being shipped to another male.
I took no offence, and I do not want these shipfics to be deleted, but I had to say that.
Well, at least I'm a highly attractive male........
Besides think yourself lucky Turbo, you weren't the one stuck in a dress.
Miah had finally finished laughing maniacally and was calmly walking through the Board, heading back toward her Secret and Unfindable Cushion Fort.
“Heeeeeeey Miah!” said a very familiar voice behind her.
“Hi Data,” Miah said turning to face him. She felt a pair of arms snake around her waist, and Bronwyn’s face appeared on her shoulder. “Miah! So good to see you!”
“H-hi Bryn!”
Miah then felt a tug on her left arm, and saw VixenMage. “Miah! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
“You –you have?” Miah was finding it difficult to concentrate when Bronwyn rubbing circles on her stomach.
“Miah! what a coincidence! I was just thinking of you!” Aster said, appearing suddenly, wrapped around Miah’s right arm.
“Oh! R-really?”
“C’mon Miah, we have a little surprise for you!” VM said, lightly stroking her left arm.
“Yeah Miah, we just wanted to thank you for all the great things you been doing.” Data said, now tickling under her chin.
VM, Aster, Data, and Bryn led Miah into an unoccupied room. Several wandering boarders would claim to hear sheep, and a strong smell of cinnamon coming from the room.
Arrow hesitantly opened the door to the Board. The noises coming from inside were slightly worrying. "Um... Hello?" he called as he walked a few steps onto the Board. "Is there anyone here? I'm Arrow. I'm new here and I wanted to introduce myself."
The sounds of several people giggling from the shadows made him rethink his plan. He turned to the door only to find that a very naked woman was closing the it.
"Welcome to the Board," she said with a smile. "You picked a great time to join us. I'm JulyFlame." She walked over to Arrow and began working on the buttons of his shirt.
"Hey, hold on," he stammered, backing away. "This is not what I expected."
"I'm just giving you your newbie gift," July answered, moving closer to the startled newbie. "I'm sure others will be giving you gifts as well."
"You bet!" cried someone from the shadows. When Arrow turned around to look for the source of the voice Neshomeh, Data Junkie, Sergio Turbo, and PitViperOfDoom walked into the light. They were all naked except for PitViper who was wearing a black kilt as a shirt, which seemed a little useless due to her lack of any other clothing.
"Good to have you a-Board," said Neshomeh as they descended upon the hapless newbie.
"So, why am I doing this again?" Inquired Sonne. What appeared to be a gigantic... trampoline? (What the hell?) stretched from wall to wall across the large room they had found.
"Well, if you want this," Phobos produced a set of paperwork from inside his coat pocket, a very SPECIFIC set of paperwork from Upstairs. A form that would allow anyone who possessed it to spend one night in any continuum they wished, with anyONE that they wished. "So, you can do this for me and get one night, twelve full hours, with your Favorite..." his voice trailed off, leaving Sonne to fill in the rest for herself.
"Alright, but if I don't get it I WILL find a new use for those Flames I found." Sonne slipped off her dress and stepped off the Generic Surface.
"You made the right choice," replied Phobos as he dropped his coat.
END TERRIBLE SHIPPING
I feel so dirty.
Deep in the PPC Archives, Agent Neshomeh suddenly jumped as her computer beeped at her. Recovering from the alarm, she read over the report filling the screen.
"Boarders... shipfic... One True Pairing... paperwork? Oh, that's not right," she muttered. "Things are about to get real meta."
She got up and, in a shockingly boring "getting ready" montage to the tune of "Here We Go" by Dispatch, she made herself a travel cup of Earl Grey, pulled her hair back, stuck her oversized HFA-issue knitting needles in a holster, adjusted her glasses, and patted her mini-Budong, Chrichton, on the mandible on her way through the portal to the Board.
Of course, portaling to the exact location she wanted would have been too easy. Naturally, she was forced to look in several different rooms wherein activities of questionable decency were taking place, and to wade through several clots of bodies in the passages between. She did her best not to get any on her. Finally, she discovered the person she was looking for.
"Mr. Arrow? Yes? Good. Please come with me."
"I'll come with you all night long," the shippy newbie crooned.
"That's... er... nice. Let's go." She led the way, and Arrow followed like an intoxicated puppy.
Thanks to the Law of Dramatic Timing, they made it to a particular room in time to throw the door open just as Phobos' black trenchcoat hit the floor.
"Stop right there, please!" Agent Neshomeh shouted, causing Phobos and Sonne to turn their heads.
"Well hello there," said Phobos. "Fancy meeting you here. Who's your friend?" He winked flirtatiously at Arrow.
"Yeah, um, about that," Agent Neshomeh said. "Here's the thing: I'm not Boarder!Neshomeh; I'm not sure what she's up to, but I am sure I don't want to know. I'm from the Archives, and down there we get notices of anything that gets put in writing, including this lunacy. Normally it's kept inside a Creativity Shield, so nothing actually comes of it, but stuff happens. So, this guy here" —she cocked a thumb at Arrow&mdash "was writing you and Sonne as a One True Pairing, which is really not canon, and apparently provided you with some illicit and possibly fabricated paperwork. There's been a slight bleed into actual PPC continuity, so I'm here to close it. I'll need those papers."
She stepped nonchalantly toward the totally nude Phobos and extended a hand. Behind him, she could see that Sonne and Arrow had totally lost track of what was going on and were happily having it off on the trampoline. She shook her head; she'd meant to speak to Arrow about the whole OTP thing, but there was little chance of that now.
"So, wait," Boarder!Phobos said. "Let me make sure I understand what is going on. You are saying... that there are two of you right now? Awesome."
"Well, technically, yes—but that's not the point! I need that paperwork. And then I need to leave before... before..." She trailed off as Phobos stepped toward her.
"I'll give you what you want," Phobos said seductively. "But successful relationships need give and take."
"This is true," Agent Neshomeh conceded, feeling uncomfortably hot under the collar. "What did you have in mind?"
Phobos grinned.
A short walk and about half an hour later, Agent Neshomeh returned to the Archives with the paperwork she had come to retrieve, and what were probably her clothes. They had gotten all mixed up with Boarder!Neshomeh's, not that it mattered all that much. At least it was all canon. Sort of. In any case, the Earl Grey was put to good use, the continuity bleed was stitched up, the papers went into Chrichton's maw, and the record was truly set straight, with Arrow's misguided OTP trumped by one very meta OT3.
(( FYI, Phobos and I are engaged in real life. We're cool with shipfics, since it's pure silliness, but calling OTP just made my brain shout "canon breach." It's okay, you didn't know. ^_~ ))
Agent Joan was lazily flipping through a maganize when she heard a buzzing sound. She lifted her head in time to see agent Neshomeh walking through a portal. She noticed Neshomeh was utterly naked, but holding her clothes, and frowned a bit just to replace the frown almost instantly with a broad smile.
"Seems you got your canon breach all fixed up, didn't you?" she said.
Agent Neshomeh just beamed.
And so if we write fanfics about ourselves we get to be screened by the PPC? And so the PPC protects us too? Isn't it a paradox, since we are the ones who actually write about the PPC? Does it mean that if we try to make some changes that our Agents don't like they can get revenge?
*tries to put order with the logic of that*
My head hurts.
*a portal opens behind him and Agent!Sergio Turbo and Corolla come out of it*
"Sorry, you are doing too much research about the canon relation between the PPC and World One. We have to neuralyze you."
*Boarder!Sergio gets neuralyzed*
What I was talking about? Don't remember a thing.
There's an OT3 all for me huh? Now that's nice to know.
I'm just having terrible luck with these. And oddly enough I came down to flipping a quarter between you and Sonne. Darn you Laws of Comedy! (Applying in this case in that anything I do to be funny will inevitably make me look like an idiot) Sorry!
I will get you for this. Thank you, *glomps Phobos* for making me feel right at home. Except my home doesn't USUALLY have this many naked people. God that was an awesome weekend.
I'm a medium height, brown haired, dark eyed, male. SHIP ME!
I don't much care whom I'm shipped with, so long as no one divulges anatomical details. I don't want other men to die of shame.
Here is an edited-for-legibility-and-logic version of Thursday's epic IRC shipping. Consider it a collaboration.
It is entitled "Khroma: The Boarder That Launched 1000 Attacks" (title by Bronwyn.) I deleted a lot of unnecessary stuff, but it's still pretty long so I created an ff.net account because copying&pasting it here made the formatting awful.
AN EPIC TALE STARRING BRONWYN, CADDY-SHACK, AND KHROMA:
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2788061/
...nao mai hed an jaw hurt from laffing so much.
No, seriously. My head/jaw hurt from laughing. It's quite an interesting feeling.
The first line is supposed to be "July puts raw fish and ginger down Khroma's pants."
I don't know why it's not showing up.
...yeah.
Miah finally made it back to her Secret and Unfindable Cushion Fort. How had that Lustin managed to spread through the nearly the entire Board? Not that she was complaining about the performance of the Powerful Plover Collaborative. She’d especially liked Phobos’ kilt.
She’d been unable to find Bryn again, and though she’d heard of various sightings of her actual target, Caddy-shack, she’d not seen him either.
After several minutes of no one passing by the Fort, Miah was beginning to get bored. Then, finally, she spotted him. Caddy-shack. He was already naked and covered with sucker marks. Hmm. Maybe Bryn had already found him?
Caddy was moving slowly down the hall, carefully checking each window before walking past, while still staring at it. Miah waited until he was in the optimal spot for her to shoot him with her tranquilizer darts. This spot just happened to be directly in front of a window. Miah flicked a switch.
Caddy screamed--in a totally not a girly shriek sort of way--and then yelled, “Slender-Miah-n!! Nooo--”
His words were cut off by his collapse in an unconscious heap. Miah chuckled only slightly maniacally as she grabbed Caddy’s feet and dragged him through a secret door into a room.
After adding giant sucker marks across Caddy’s chest with a special vacuum cleaner attachment, Miah used a spoon to launch vanilla pudding at him. Then she stuck tufts of fur to him, and left the RA she’d stolen from her agents next to him. The last two addresses programmed into it were the Giant Squid fic and somewhere in a Redwall badfic (not That Series).
By this time, Caddy was starting to wake up. Miah took the neuralizer that she had also stolen from her agents and with her eyes closed tightly said, “Caddy!” flash She opened her eyes and saw that Caddy was in the post-neuralized suggestible state.
“Wow! You really have a thing for cephalopods, Caddy-shack! I can’t believe you wanted the Giant Squid after all those little ones! And where’d you pick up the fur?”
Caddy looked like he was about to deny it when he saw the giant sucker marks. “Uh-no?”
Miah was trying, somewhat less than successfully, to stifle fully maniacal laughter.
“I-I don’t remember?”
“Well, I’m just going to be going now,” Miah said as she went out the door.
The door closed and Caddy heard veritable howls of laughter from the hall.
“Why do I smell vanilla pudding?” he said to no one in particular.
I'm male, and... yeah, that's about it. Go nuts if you want to.
Female, shippable, with a male please. Five foot three, Chinese, glasses, shoulder length dark brown hair usually held up in a headband, and a generally chipper personality.
But if anyone wants to use me, feel free. I'm female.
If anyone knows who I am/cares who I am, sure, feel free to ship me.
Oh, and I'm male.
Elsewhere, a group of boarders sat around, doing nothing at all.
Antigonie68104 steepled her fingers, and drummed them against the side of the couch they were leaning over.
After a few minutes, Adamantine spoke up. "So, how about that local sports team?"
Another person booed, and threw a book at his head, which Adamantine neatly ducked.
"Oh, for the love of..." Maslab huffed, got out of his chair, and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Something Blue rolled her eyes.
From an armchair in the corner, MAXinsanity sighed despondently.
(No offense meant, guys.)
A careful hand drew a cloth lightly over the length of gleaming black metal, drawing a faint, quavering hum from the blade. “Missed a spot,” a sleepy voice murmured.
Adamantine paused for a moment. “Where?” He asked in a hushed tone.
“Up and to the left,” the sleepy voice replied. “Almost… no, back…wait, no, up….” There was another pleasant chime from the steel. “Right there.”
At this point, a book came flying out nowhere which Adamantine didn’t manage to duck. He looked back at the girl who threw it.
“Stop polishing your sword in here, Adamantine, you’re going to attract the shippers.” She took a breath and continued, “And stop muttering to yourself, it’s creepy.”
Adamantine sighed and rose from his chair, leaning the flat of the blade against his shoulder. “Fine,” He huffed, “I’ll go somewhere else then.”
“Yeah, sure,” the now not-so-sleepy voice added, “throw us to the wolves, why don’t you?”
Adamantine just shook his head and left the room. “You’re not helping, you know,” he told the voice.
“Well what’s the point of being able to talk if you have to shut up all the time?” the sword demanded. “It’s not like you’re smarter than me. You are me, remember? Or I’m you… or something.?
“How did an AU Version of me end up as a sword, anyway?”
[because July started it]
There was a sound suspiciously like a sigh. “It’s a long story. I was just… oh, crap.”
“What? … Oh.” While he was distracted, Adamantine had turned a corner only to find himself staring at a tangled pile of shippers, and they were staring right back. He waved nervously and sidled back around the corner, then turned on his heel. “Run,” he said, and then proceeded to do so.
“Run? You’re the one with legs.”
[Just to be clear, for personal reasons I intend to remain a non-shipper and unshipped. I will, however, run like mad from any shipping antics pointed in my direction, if it amuses you to give chase.]
Antigone68104 closed the door behind Adamantine, and pushed a chair against it.
"Now that the only person who grabbed a weapon has left, we've got a challenge on our hands. How are we going to hold off the shippers until the lustin wears off?"
Blue looked rather worried. "No idea. Actually, I don't even really get what's going on.. why is everyone suddenly.. er.. y'know?"
"I'm not sure." Antigone replied. "But didn't one of the others mention dart guns before everything turned weirder?"
She walked back to the couch. "It almost makes me wish we'd had duck-and-cover drills in school. Or that I'd ever watched Home Alone."
Meta pounds heavilly on the door, looking around over his shoulders in concern, still not certain why he was suddenly wearing a dress and not at all sure he wanted to know why.
"Guys, guys, let me in. Please. Or at least hand me a camera. We could make a fortune from the photos taken out here."
Antigone glanced at the others in the room, then pushed the chair aside. One shoulder braced against the door, in case the shippers rushed them, she carefully opened it.
Something Blue dove under the couch in anticipation of a wave of shippers entering through the door, rather surprising the few Boarders still sitting on it and eventually knocking it over.
But when nothing happened, she leapt out of the pile of Boarders and couch pieces (it must have been a cheap couch. One of those ones you put together.) and carefully edged over to Antigone and the door. She peeked out. "What's happening, you think? Is it dying down?"
Meta poked his head around the door, grinning at the non-shippers slowly. "So..... um.... do you guys have some spare clothes? I'm really not a dress man. Or that camera?"
Suddenly July came out of nowhere, her clothes soaked in sweat and horribly frumpled, smacked MAXinsanity on the head and then disappeared again in a huff.
In a forgotten corner of the Board there is a cupboard. On this particular day the door to the cupboard was left partly open and a squeaking sound could be heard from inside.
"Oh Bryn," squeaked a tiny voice, "don't stop."
"Nesh," replied a tiny voice of the Bryn kind, "this is so fun. Can you do me next?"
Nesh squeaked and moaned her approval of that plan inside the cupboard as Bryn continued.
The door to the cupboard was nudged from the inside and opened to reveal Plushie!Bryn sewing up a rip in Plushie!Nesh's shoulder. Plushie!Nesh was enjoying the treatment thoroughly.
Plat sat in the lobby, bearing only his trusty sombrero, and the kilt he found outside of a closet. Although his suspicions were unconfirmed, he did seem to recognize it from somewhere...
Regardless! He looked around. It seemed quiet... perhaps too quiet... he slowly looked behind when suddenly he felt himself tackled to the ground “the hell...” he managed to say before he saw the faces of 9th Blue Mage, Firebird, Aster, and Silikat
“You gotta help us! Something went wrong with the lustin!” Aster yelled, as she climbed off of Plat and boarded up the doors.
“How do you mean ‘went wrong’?” Plat asked, curious and yet slightly disappointed that he’d been tackled for (to him) the wrong reasons
“Well, you know how Bryn and Miah have been sniping people with tranquilizing darts? Something went wrong and now most of the board is...” 9th Blue Mage swallowed nervously “Sexlexic.” She said, looking most concerned.
“Sex-whats-it? Huh?” Plat said, trying to straighten himself and not upset his fellow hyperventilating boarders
“Sexlexia, it’s a terrible disease. Simply debilitating. There... There’s only one cure, I’m afraid...”
Plat nodded with purpose, and strode out of the room- leaving the black kilt behind. He wouldn’t need it where he was going- for he was the man with no shame.
"Data, you bastard! I'll kill you for this!" Browyn shouted as she struggled with Data Junkie, who was carrying her over his shoulder.
"Possibly. Not today though," Data said. He proceeded to open up a closet and drop her in, before shutting the door and locking her in with two familiar faces.
"Hullo, Bryn," Khroma said, and smiled meekly.
"He's mine, Bryn!" Caddy-Shack exclaimed, tugging on Khroma's arm protectively.
Minutes later, Data heard Khroma's terrified squeeks coming from inside the closet, and walked away chuckling.
"They'll sort themselves out eventually, and I'll let 'em out tomorrow. Or after the weekend. Assuming they want out, that is."
Does that mean that a mini-boarder called Browyn is running around?
"Alright, are you all excited about what we're doing today?" Bronwyn asked her trio of contracted employees/fodder.
"But we don't know what we're doing today," Caddy responded.
"Or why you made us come without clothes," DigitalSocrates added, adding emphasis that they were all quite naked. It wasn't that cold in the Sue Labratory, but the large metal trapdoor she had them standing on was very cold, and they were all speckled in goosebumbs.
"Or weapons," Data conluded, to the agreement of his peers. It wasn't exactly an ideal arrangement for warding off the Sues they faced on a regular basis, which was difficult enough in full riot gear.
"Well, I'm excited!" Bronwyn squeeled, pulling out a black riding crop. It's black weave matched the color of her corset and garter belt, the only bits of apparel she had opted to bring. "You see, I just got in a whole truckload of My Little Squiddlies from a Homestruck Suefic, so you all can have a break from Sue Experiements while you test them out to make sure they work!"
"Work at...?" Caddy asked uncertainly.
"Use your imagination!" Bronwyn laughed evilly, and slammed the crop down on the panel, opening up the trapdoors and dropping the three into a non-Euclidian ocean of primary colored pseudopods.
"Don't worry!" she shouted after them. "They probably can't kill you!"
"Attention ladies of the posting board," said a voice over the speaker in the Lounge. "You are all invited to the auditorium for a special exhibition."
There were some puzzled looks from the female population, but they shuffled to the auditorium anyways, for lack of anything better to do. All the men had disappeared a while back and the lack of their constant shenanigans was beginning to get boring.
The ladies entered the auditorium and milled about for a couple of minutes, wondering what this exhibition was supposed to be.
"Doesn't this all seem sort of familiar?" asked Neshomeh.
"It does," said July, her eyes narrowing as she sensed something was not right.
"Doesn't seem familiar to me," said The 9th Blue Mage.
The conversation didn't have time to continue because, at that moment, someone cut the lights. There were startled cries and muttered curses from the girls present. These sounds of dismay faded away as the sound of an amp was heard from the direction of the stage.
"We are the Powerful Plover Collaborative!" yelled someone who seemed to have a microphone. "We're here to make you swoon and take off your clothes and stuff!"
A spotlight came up on Rosie Azrael at a microphone. The light continued to grow more intense and soon the whole stage was lit. The ladies in the audience had time to notice that there were others on the stage when the sound of drumsticks clicking filled the space.
Platinumyo finished counting and began to beat on the drums in front of him. He was soon joined by Artell, who was playing a purple, axe-shaped guitar. Phobos, who was wearing a black kilt, was playing bass guitar near Caddy-shack. Caddy was standing behind a rack holding two keyboards, which he played with one hand on each. Opposite Caddy on the stage was a DJ set-up which was manned by Data Junkie, who had on sunglasses and a pair of headphones.
Rosie adjusted his leather jacket and started singing. "Girl, I'm the one for you; But you're so far away; I tell you what I'm gonna do; I'll be with you today."
When Rosie got to the chorus he was joined by Sergio Turbo and Tranum who were singing the harmonies. "I'm gonna portal to your heart; It has to be; Gotta do my part; You are my destiny; This is how it starts; I'm gonna portal to your heart."
The bridge began and the ladies in the audience started screaming in glee as Dann appeared on a platform twenty feet above the stage and played an epic solo on an electric cello.
The next verse started with panties, bras, and the occasional t-shirt flying at the stage. These were followed by Pretzel and Makari storming the stage and carrying Sergio off for some quality time.
The song came to a conclusion, minus one back-up singer, with Artell crowd-surfing. He disappeared somewhere in the middle of the audience and never made it back to the stage. While Rosie's final note of "Portal To Your Heart" echoed in the air, the women of the board stormed the stage and showed how much they loved the song and the men of the Powerful Plover Collaborative.
Phobos was wandering around half naked, looking for his clothes, when he met Miah.
"Phobos, tell me that you are not under Lustin influence!"
"At this very moment not. But, now that I think about it, I probably was for quite a while. You have nothing to do with it, right?"
"Er... no."
"Alright, I have to find my clothes."
Phobos turned around, only to be glomped by Miah.
"What are you doing?"
"Don't know, I felt the need to glomp someone."
When they separated Miah was very embarrassed, and Phobos was going to tell her that everything was OK when he felt a sting on his back. Suddenly, being glomped wasn't that bad.
"You're beautiful when you're embarrassed, you know?
He embraced her, and they went in the nearest empty room. After all, for a while he wasn't going to need his clothes.
Few meters away Sergio carefully inspected one of the darts he previously had loaded in his sniper rifle.
"Are these things really this powerful? Well, it explains why I was singing on that stage. And why not one, but two girls thought that I was sexy. After all, I can't sing at all."
Sergio shook his head and went away. Two targets down, a lot more to go...
Someone needs to make this a real song right now. And stuff. ^_^
I'm sure I don't even need to ask if the kilt is all you're wearing.
~Neshomeh
It was a busy day on the Board, and so it came as no surprise when several utterly shagged Boarders came slumping into the kitchen looking to fill their tanks.
"I'm beat," sighed DigitalSocrates. "Is my bread done yet?" He went to check the oven.
"No," VixenMage answered from the stove, "but I'm making a soup from vegetable stock. It has all sorts of delicious juices in it."
JulyFlame and Data Junkie came around the corner. "Juices, you say?" said DJ, echoed by JF barely a beat behind: "Stock, you say?"
"Oh yes," VM answered. "My soup has something for everyone. But there's still something missing." She turned imploringly to the group.
"I'm sure we can think of some things," JF said helpfully. "I've got a nice fresh cabbage here." Everyone admired JF's lovely cabbage.
"I'd love to dip my bread in your hot soup just the way it is," DS said. "It's almost done... so close...."
DJ hung his head sadly. "All I have is this plump sausage, but I know VM doesn't like sausage."
"Aw, that's all right," VM said. "The rest of you can share DJ's sausage, and we can all enjoy my soup with JF's cabbage and DS's bread!"
And they did.
...what all the euphemisms mean.
Sign me up for being shipped, ladies and gentlebeings!
*is female, English, blonde, and heavily nearsighted without her glasses*
Should anyone be interested in using me, I'm a rather tall male who wears glasses, is rather withdrawn, and in general is somewhat weird. I don't know if I'll actually start a story, but I'll certainly respond to a post featuring me.
But I'd prefer if things were kept somewhat out of the gutter. I'm trying to swim here, people. Okay, uh...Oh, right, description. Tall, brown-haired French male with glasses...um...think that's all I'm gonna say for now. Oh, yes, and I prefer women, but knowing you lot, what I prefer doesn't really matter too much...
P.S. Jesus, my elipses are getting out of control lately. I should really start being more careful...
P.P.S. Goddammit, that last one wasn't even me being funny/sarcastic. It was just a reflex. A friggin' reflex. I really need to work on this.
Like Something Blue, I'm underage, so not having shippings with me would be nice.
I'll still witness the insanity, though!
Girl, age 21, you've seen the pics of me from the Gatherings.
Kitsune106 can't access the Board, but he says if you want to use him as well you're welcome to.
We're both willing to be shipped with members of any sex or gender.
RosieAzrael caught sight of a twinkle of rainbow sequins, and, rather intrigued, went in to go see.
Within the room, Bronwyn was struggling to sew sequins to a bustier, sitting by a large pile of the things. She looked rather sweet.
"I thought the candyman came by." Rosie grinned widely.
She looked up, and waved, flailingly. "Hi, Rosie!" She squeaked.
"What're you doing there?" Rosie leaned against the frame of the doorway.
"I'm trying to work on my costume. But it's going to take forever at this rate!"
"What for?"
"Columbia, from Rocky Horror," she said, looking up at Rosie. Her bright blue and closely cut hair contrasted against her pale skin. Rosie could imagine her easily with red hair. "July said I'd be able to pull it off. My mom agrees. So I'm going to try and get this done in time for a con! Even if it kills me!"
"Don't you panic, I'm sure you'll get it done."
"I think I need help! Some sort of assistant!"
"Well, if you need some help," Rosie walked into the room properly, "I don't know about sweet transvestites, but I can definitely help if you want a sweet transsexual."
Miah finished changing all her darts out for ones that did not include Lustin when she spied Pretzel and Rosie. She was about to target them, when she caught what they were saying.
“You’re wearing what, strapped where, Rosie?”
Doctorlit suddenly appeared from around the corner, naked. “Yes. What? Where?”
Pretzel and Rosie looked at each other and then giggled.
Rosie put an arm around Doc’s shoulder and turned him toward a room, “How about we show you.”
Pretzel’s voice was muffled by her shirt, “Yeah it’ll be--” she threw the shirt on the floor. “fun!”
Miah checked her old supply of darts. Had the Lustin in them escaped somehow?
Some time later, Miah was wandering the halls when she heard a voice call out to her.
"Miah, wait up!"
Miah turned to see Pretzel dressed in a hula skirt, a lei, and nothing else. Pretzel grinned, twirling a bit to show off her new outfit.
"Hey, could you look something over for me? It'll only take a few minutes," Pretzel said, and Miah, as she often betaed for said Boarder, followed Pretzel into a nearby room. Ten minutes later, Miah emerged from the room looking far more disheveled than one ought to after a beta session, and then continued on her way.
Maybe the Lustin from her darts had gotten into the water somehow? That would explain a lot.
So long as those of us who do not yet have permission are allowed entry then count me in. It sound's like a chuckle and to be fair, I'm always game for a laugh.
Try to escape Miah's darts, however. Lustin's no good when it isn't even required.
Well, escaping like I was able to do them means dying of laughter, so...
Permission is only really needed for spinoffs. This sort of thing is fine.
I'm male and straight but very open-minded :P
9th Blue Mage was turning a corner, whistling a Mariah Carey song, when she suddenly bumped into someone.
"Sorry, Plat, I didn..." she trailed off as she noticed Platinumyo was completely naked. He had a sombrero, though. "Why are you naked?" she said cautiously; she wasn't sure if she did want to know the answer.
"I'm not naked, I'm wearing Adam's suit. He lent it to me, but he doesn't know yet."
"That makes no sense."
"Not at all, but you know what does? My stamp collection. Wanna check it?"
9th beamed and nodded.
Later, in Platinumyo's room
"Well, this is certainly huge. You say this is the largest in the world?"
"Exactly. 9.44 inches long and 2.7 inches wide, printed by China in 1913. But enough Philately for the day; he have better things to do."
And having said that, he threw his sombrero to a corner.
Sonne was walking, entirely innocent, down the corridors of the Board looking for new threads and newbies when she accidentally walked into the 9th Blue Mage. "Ah! Sorry, Nine," she said.
"No problem," the 9th Blue Mage replied. She was wearing rather skimpy clothing, that were a disturbing mix of the styles of the Blue Mage outfit from the Final Fantasy series and the sort of fabric sparse outfits Square Enix was rather fond of putting on its female leads for the newer games.
Sonne flushed.
The 9th Blue Mage grinned, not entirely innocently. "Want to see a magic trick?"
Sonne giggled. "Sure!"
Sonne saw quite a surprising trick, and was treated to an even more surprising one right after.
Looks like someone knows that I know Final Fantasy.
But...can you figure out why I put "9th" in my username? The username itself is a combination of the color blue and the FF Blue Mage, but then it would be just "The Blue Mage" if the combination was just those two.
Hint, hint: The "9th" part is related to the color blue, making the three parts all related to blue in some way.
When Phobos and Neshomeh entered the wardrobe, they were aware of three things.
One, there were matters that needed to be 'taken care of'.
Two, it was quite dark, but utterly slow, and warm.
Three, they were not alone, going from the expressive moaning coming from quite near by, that both were quite sure was not from either of them.
"Damn!" Phobos said, and he hurriedly returned his zip to standing position, all the way up.
"It's okay," VM's dreamy voice said, somewhere near Neshomeh's elbow.
There was a pause for a moment, and even lower, and closer to the floor, they heard Techno-Dann's voice. "There's enough room."
A second moan came from a bit deeper in the closet. They could barely make out July and Artell in the back, past assorted winter coats.
Neshomeh looked intrigued.
"Whoa there," Phobos said, stepping slightly in front of her. "I'm first."
"Of course you are." Her hand went down Phobos' trousers, and the hairs on his neck, arms, and elsewhere stood straight out.
The tantalizing, wonderful silence as they began to pull each others' shirts off was broken by July.
"Can you guys make some room up there? I'm getting snow in my panties."
July was standing in the middle of an ancient bathroom, with a marble bathtub. She was wearing a long red dress full of ribbons. Her face was bright and red, and she was mourning.
Traunum, already naked because he had been waiting for an opportunity in the Shipfest, peeped through a crack to see what was making such a noise, and seeing it was July he opened the door and walked in.
"Can I help you, July?" he asked kindly.
Before she could answer, a chihuahua dog came from under her dress and bit Traunum's ankle. Then the dog just went away, looking satisfied.
Traunum cursed in every language he knew, and in some others he had invented right there.
"That's no way to speak in front of a lady" July said half mockingly-half sternly. "I shall punish you."
She ripped her dress, showing the leather outfit she had under it, and she produced a belt from a rather suspictious place.
The door closed suddenly, and all that could be heard was cracks and Traunum shouting.
"Heeelp! It's not what I had in mind!"
Miah waved sadly as Bryn had to evacuate the Secret and Unfindable Cusion Fort because of the tsunami warning. Just as Miah climbed back into the fort, she saw Data and Khroma walking down the hall.
“Hee hee. They’ll do for now,” she chuckled as she shot both of them with her tranquilizer gun.
“What the h--” Data managed to say before he fell to the ground unconscious.
Miah quickly dragged her victims to a nearby empty room and made some arrangements. As soon as they started to wake up, she pushed the button on the neuralizer she had stolen from her agents, and took advantage of the susceptibility to suggestion the neuralizer produced.
“Dude! What are you guys doing?”
Data looked around and realized that he was draped over Khroma, and that neither of them were overly clothed. “Uh...”
Khroma looked shocked for a few seconds. Then he twisted and rolled and ended up straddling Data. He leaned in for a kiss, and said, “I believe it went something like this?”
Data recovered quickly, and when the kiss finally broke up, said, “Oh, yeah. I think so too.”
Miah left the room muttering, “Memo to self, next time, do not include Lustin in the tranquilizer darts.”
Miah was rather unfortunate with her timing, as she left the room only to fall woozy herself, collapsing onto the generic floor.
When she awoke, she found herself in a room with DigitalSocrates. "Helllooooooooo," she said, sultrily, before she quite realised what she was saying, or that she was moving towards him.
DS looked at her for a moment, rather oblivious. "Hi."
"Is it just me, or is it hot in here?" Miah pulled at her t-shirt's collar, and began to pull it off.
"Uh, yes, I suppose it is, if you aren't used t-" His eyes focused on Miah's chest as the shirt came off. His glasses sloped down his nose.
"Your glasses are coming off." She leaned over, and reached for them. "Let me help with that."
Before long, they were kissing.
Entirely, utterly, unrelated, and far, far far away, July walked down the corridor muttering about people getting into her Lustin supply.
The room was dark save for the flickering candles in the corners. The floor was covered in soft pillows, blankets and rugs. Vixenmage was standing over JulyFlame wearing nothing but a smile and the Permission Giver Hat.
"Come on, let's do this already," begged July, who was already flushed with anticipation. She reached up to pull VM down to her.
Vixenmage playfully slapped July's hand. "Tsk tsk tsk," said VM, her smile widening. She chuckled slightly, "So hasty. We'll have some fun." She knelt down and ran a hand down July's cheek. "But not before I give you Permission."
"I didn't think that anyone would take me seriously," Aster moaned, covered in pad thai sauce (sans the fish sauce for vegetarian friendliness).
"Hah," said VM, between licks, "It isn't that they took you seriously, it's that you gave them the idea in the first place. Never do that!" She put her hands on a rather sensitive place.
"But I couldn't help- aah!" Aster arced back, and moaned even more. "Stop talking, more licking!"
Oh, my bread is done, and is prepared to be baked.
Watches the main course as the bread rises. "I should have found this cafeteria years ago."
Aster is a 5' 7'' female with messy brown hair, eyes of indeterminate color, who swings both ways and is probably too confrontational.
I hope its not too late.
No doubt someone will pick a fight over it, but I'd rather it be known I would feel better if I were not shipped at all. Matter of comfort.
We had a conversation about this in the chat. If you ask not to be shipped, you won't be shipped. No one will be angry, or grumpy, or pick a fight or mock you. It depends heavily, like much of the PPC, on tolerance for all sides of the die.
We don't want anyone to feel like they have to do anything, here. Just be respectful of the other side, whichever you happen to fall on.
Male, six feet tall, brown hair and brown eyes.
However, I'm going to write only after reading some, since it's my first shipfic fest.
Might as well learn the game while I can, though I will move caustiously forward, until I know enough about this game.
I'm a 6,4 tall male, with long brown blond hair, and blue eyes. See what you can make out of that :P
Silikat's a brown-haired, blue eyed, plumper than she would like to admit female of average height.
Rosie is a tall, redheaded, female-to-male transsexual. Don't worry, it's not contagious. :P
I may not get a chance to write anything, at least not anything long, but I'll do my best, since my spring break just started.
A recent-ish photo is available on my user page at the Wiki, if anyone cares about that. Also, I'm around five-foot-three(ish).
Though Glod knows if I'll produce anything readable.
(Am girltype, for the confused. I've been told I do that a lot.)
Phobos is a tall, hairy male. Neshomeh is, of course, female. Ship us by each alone or as a pair. It's all good.
As amusing as this event will probably be, I have little interest in reading this sort of thing, and even less in writing it. Since this last would violate rule #3, I'm out.
Interpret that as you will. :3 I'm female, but I genderbend myself occasionally, so by all means go for it if you like.
This sound like a great idea! I am male.
I'm very in. It'll be interesting to see what people come up with. I am, for the record, male. Not that it matters much, since genderbending is always an option.
Go for it.
Do we need to tell about ourselves or anything else for this?
Just your gender to avoid not-intentional genderbending
Girl, I guess?
By the way, how bad can being genderbended can be? (Knows that I'm tempting fate).
"I had to ask." 9th muttered to herself, looking at her male duplicate standing at the other end of the corridor.
"Maybe I should tempt fate more often." The male 9th said, also talking only to himself, as he eyed up the female version of himself.
9th took a slow step along the corridor, watching as the male mirrored her step. Another step brought the pair of them within arms lenght of each other and she realised in horror that he was wearing the same dress as she was, which clashed horribly with his curly red beard.
"Are we hot or what?" The male asked her, turning on what he believed was his most dashing smile.
"Um," she began to sputter as his face contorted into what could loosely be called a smile but was far more a grimace. "I thank you for answering my question. Bye."
9th watched as his female counterpart suddenly turned tail and fled down the corridor, obviously over powered by the charm of his smile. "It's the waiting game then." He said to himself once more. "I do so love the chase."
But, unless my counterpart was hit by lustin offscreen, I really don't think that beards are sexy at all.
I don't know, but whenever I...fall for someone, they always tend to be clean-shaven.
Also, it looks so weird to see a high schooler my age to have a beard.
Finally, bearded guys remind me way too much of Santa Claus for some reason.
But other than that, great! Just this question, though: Why is the male wearing a dress? I know that it's recommended to not apply logic to situations like those, but it's just so tempting... Unless it's from that offscreen lustin...
To be honest, I didn't try to apply logic. You described yourself somewhere as curly red hair and red dresses, so I just threw that onto both of them, albeit curly red beard for the male.
I guess your dislike of beards explains why you turned him down.
Sorry if it seems like I was whiny. Just trying to inform you. Coming off as picky is not my intention, and I do apologize if I did.
PS: Red dresses? Where did you get that from?
Surely the whole point of tempting fate is you get to whine about it afterwards? No need to appologise, no offense taken, and not even a defense. As for the red dresses, there's a chance I got confused and miss read it somewhere, there's a fair bit of lustin going around and clouding judgement after all.
...You'd think I'd whine about something other than the beard, right or wrong?
And response about red dress...actually, I said that the avatar (9th) usually wears clothing that are in shades of blue, and that her skin looks somewhat red.
Well that's probably where I got confused then. You can't have two different colours in one sentance without confusing me. In fact, someone stuck me in a blue dress in one of the earlier shipping posts..... maybe a clothing exchange can be arrange somewhere mid shipping.
I really didn't know how to word it at the time of that post. But I do now.
Sure, do that exchange if you want to.
And about Boy!Nine... Let's just say that Girl!Nine is going to try to take off that beard completely, no matter how crazy her attempts are...
Now I'm curious to see what you can come up with.
But if for those times when we don't know who are we writing about and don't do it on purpose.
Just use this one. I've also mentioned this somewhere. I may or may not look like that in real life.
Curly red hair, light blue eyes, and somewhat red. Usually dresses in blue clothing (hence my username. That, and I like the color blue).
So...yeah.
Nonetheless, please do not ship me, 'k? Underage and all that. I look forwards to reading it, though.
I'm in. And I'm a her.
For example, until a few weeks ago I thought one Boarder was female. Don't know why. Then, I discovered he's actually a male.
Good thing English has a lot less gender-specific pronouns compared to Italian...
Expecially now that I discovere I made the same error (both "not female" and "not male") about a LOT of Boarders...
Everyone makes that kind of mistake from time to time. I make them quite often. I must have told Neshomeh a dozen times in the last 3 days that I thought so-and-so was a guy/girl (depending on the case).
I have a surprisingly bad sense for such things.
Male, shippable, awesome, likes long walks on the beach and blah blah blah.