Here are some that don't seem to flow well:

"a screen lit up on his office wall, showing a string of complicated letters and numbers, which showed him the injuries of the casualty he was about to deal with."

"As soon as he arrived in the assessment room, Arthur could tell the young man was in a bad way."

"...the sheer amount of blood that was splattered on his face, and also leaking from under his light shirt, dripping off the stretcher trolley onto the clean floor. … The ambulance crew had cut off his trousers and footwear,"

"Arthur could see his right leg was mangled, twisted to a horrific degree and with what looked a nub of bone poking through the flesh of his calf. His right foot was also bleeding, with a deep cut on the heel. Moving up to his face, Arthur recognised the two black eyes he had been told about. In addition to these the man was sporting a deep gash on his cheek and several more across his neck, one of which was dangerously close to his pulse point."

"As the assistant doctors began to cut away Merlin's thin shirt (they could not peel it off for fear of disturbing him),"

"Merlin was wheeled off to the operating theatre once more, to remove a sliver of metal which had become lodged deep in his stomach lining, and to re-align four broken ribs."

"...even fetched some grapes and a glass of water in case the dark haired man came round while he was away."

"'Nah, sorry love' she replied, in her coarse accent. 'Officer says he's bin out like a light all through. Dunno when he'll wake up, but i 'ope it's not too soon. Don't need another mouth t' feed round 'ere, do we?'"

"The other piece of paper in the folder was of course the reference sheet of injuries. It was so long and contained such horrific descriptions that Arthur shuddered involuntarily and replaced it quickly."

...And that's about it. There may or may not be some I overlooked, but here are some paragraphs from the sporked fic itself.