1 Becoming the Creature
First Fanfic that i've published. OC who gets dropped into ME, but different because she has been tranformed into a tiger. Like in Breaty and the Beast she must make another see past her animal form to return to being human.

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Saphire Ruby McEmeraldsson couldn't believe her eyes. From a humble yet astonishingly beautiful retail worker, suddenly she had been transformed into... a tiger! Yes, a tiger! Woe was her, that such a dreadful fate could befall her! Alas, alack! And where was she? This was not her home. It almost looked like... a stable?

Could it be?

After all these years of wishing she could be with Legolas, the elf she had loved through the pages, could she be in... Middle Earth?!

A horse poked its head over the wall of the next stall and peered down at her. "Hello," it said. "I'm Mister Ed."

/A horse is a horse, of course, of course.../

10 Hogwarts Gets Sex Ed
Hogwarts gets sex education,and Snape's the teacher for the job.What could possibly go wrong- especially when the Gryffindors and Slytherins are supposed to take the class together? These are the days leading to it and the countless challenges.

The Potions classroom was under a gloomier cloud than usual that day, the day Snape would remember all his life as the source of his greatest headache.

The third year boys of Gryffindor and Slytherin were assembled in the dungeon. Aside from the sniggering grins on Crabbe and Goyle, every face betrayed shock and revulsion. Blaise was casting baleful scowls up and down the desks, as if daring anyone to try talking to him today. Neville Longbottom, convinced that only a Boggart could be responsible for this situation, was frantically patrolling the room with his wand. Perhaps the greatest sign of distress, however, was when the eyes of Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy met, and the two exchanged a look of sympathy.

When Professor Snape strode into the room, fierce and silent, an uneasy stillness settled over all—except for Neville, who decided he had finally located his boggart, and pointed his wand at Snape, crying, “Riddikulus!”

Snape’s sour expression betrayed no reaction to suddenly wearing Augusta Longbottom’s hat. “I’m going to ignore that,” he said, “only because this day cannot get any worse than it already was.”

As Dean and Seamus pulled Neville down into a seat, Snape flicked his wand at the wall, and the first image appeared, triggering a chorus of groans, feigned retching, and other sounds of disgust. Despite these noises, the tone of his voice never wavered, nor did his eyes leave the wall in the back of the room.

Legolas is so depressed that he runs away and tries to live a fake life. Can his friends find him now that he won't look like himself? I've edited and reposted chapter one so I hope its an improvement :

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The Elf sprinted down the corridors of PPC HQ. "No more Mary Sues," he told himself over and over. "No more being made to forget the Laws and Customs of the Eldar. A new life for me."
During his stay in FicPsych, he had learned that he was often mobbed by fangirls or fanboys, thrown out of character, and then his memory wiped. He had also learned of devices called contact lenses. They were usually worn to correct vision that was faulty even by Human standards, but sometimes noncorrective lenses were worn to change the eye color. And nobody would recognize an elf with eyes of any color other than gray, right? Just to be on the safe side, though, he had cut his hair really short before bolting.
"Where is the exit?" he muttered to himself, not knowing the PPC . "WHERE IS IT?"
"Legolas?"
Legolas turned to see Boromir--dressed in one of the PPC uniforms, but unmistakable by anyone who had been in the Fellowship. "Boromir? I require your aid."
"What happened to your eyes and hair?"
"I used blue lenses and cut my hair short."

Three minutes later, in the FicPsych staffroom...

"We have a message from Agent Boromir," said Nurse Pablum. He's found Legolas."

"I don't understand it," the coroner said. "You say she was crushed by a..."
"A live tiger, yes," the officer replied. "It looks like it was dropped on her from a great height."
"Did either survive?"
"I'm afraid not."
"What a senseless waste of human and animal life," the coroner said, tagging the fanfiction writer's body.

8 Veela Prince
Harry's life is never simple. So when he walks downstairs one morning to find Malfoy demanding to be his veela mate, what does life have in stock for him this time?


Harry walked down stairs and into the common room still half asleep. He then had what could be called a rude awakening when he saw none other than Draco Malfoy sitting on the couch in front of the fire. Harry was extremely curious as to why no one had thrown him out yet, or how he’d even gotten in here in the first place.

He only saw the Weasley twins, who seemed to have their faces stuck in a very uncomfortable looking split of amusement and mind utter disgust. Harry took this as a sign they knew more about things then the rest of the people who all looked confused.

“I’m guessing by the looks on your faces, you two have something to do with this”

“Why Harry, we’re hurt you would think we would allow him into our most sacred of rooms” George (or was it Fred?) said while still keeping his eyes on Malfoy, though they both now had a small grin on their faces, which made them look even more ridiculous.

“Yeah Harry, why don’t you ask him yourself? He is here for you after all.” The other Weasley twin told him. Harry was now even more confused, and began to reach for his wand; nothing Draco Malfoy could want with him could be anything good.

It was then that Draco seemed to break out of his trance and noticed him. Draco rose off the sofa and walked over to Harry with an air of determination around him, he thankfully stopped a few feet away from them when the twins pulled their wands out and pointed them at him.

“I’ve been waiting for you Harry.” Harry wasn’t sure what disturbed him the most, the fact that he had broken into Gryffindor tower, that he had been able to, that he was here specifically for him, or that he hadn’t called him Potter as he always did.

“I can see that……” Harry struggled for something else to say, but failed horribly.

“They didn’t give you my message” Harry’s skin began to crawl slightly from the way Draco was talking to him. For Merlin’s sake, he wasn’t even leering or drawling!

“No, they didn’t. You might as well tell me to my face, seeing as I’m here.” Now he understood why the twins looked slightly amused, and how they even knew why Draco was here.

“I want to be your mate Harry” It wasn’t only what he said, but also the complete seriousness with which he said it that completely shocked Harry.

“My….My what!?”

“Your mate Potter, I want to be you Veela mate…NOW” He switched to a growling tone, and the last part was obviously an order.

“………” The awkward silence that followed was heavy with confusion, most of which was from Harry, who had a priceless look on his face, at least according to the twins.

“But I…that doesn’t even…..” Harry could imagine the effects of a Confundus charm were similar to this, as he was unable to even reply coherently.

Draco quickly stepped forward, and stood only a foot away from Harry now, who was now very scared, and for some reason couldn’t raise his wand hand, in fact, he couldn’t move his other arm either………

“Well Harry, you heard the man, he wants you to be his Veela mate, and I don’t think it is polite to keep him waiting.” Said one of the twins, who Harry now realized were holding his arms back.

“What!?…But I’m not a Veela!” Harry cried while struggling in their grasps. He began struggling harder when they both began laughing uproarishly, followed by a Draco Malfoy who was now starting to bubble and fizz, and slowly changed from the Slytherin student, into a very amused Dean Thomas, wearing some Slytherin robes.

“Sorry about that Harry, we needed a helper for a new invention of ours, a quick use Polyjuice, unfortunately it doesn’t work as long as we’d like, but we still though we should give it a test run.” Fred (he was almost positive) told him while still laughing.

“Yes, absolutely hilarious, very brilliant you two.” Harry couldn’t decide if he should be angry, or amazed by what they made, so he settled for both.

“C’mon Harry, you know it was great! Plus you fell for it way too easy!” Fred said.

“Yeah Harry, how do you think he would have gotten in here? Or why no one had thrown him out?” George added (or was it the other way aro-oh who cares!)

“And ‘Veela Mate?’ Now that’s just stupid, “Dean said while shedding the Slytherin robes, revealing his regular robes underneath.

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t suppose I’ll ever hear the end of this will I?” He asked them hopefully.

“Maybe if you’re a good little ickyHarrykins for us!”

Sighing and shaking his head, he headed for the exit of the common room. “Veela Mate,” he muttered while smacking his forehead.

`Caddy-shack

A little longer then I had planned, but I think it is okay for a first attempt.

#1 Becoming the Creature
First Fanfic that i've published. OC who gets dropped into ME, but different because she has been tranformed into a tiger. Like in Breaty and the Beast she must make another see past her animal form to return to being human.

In the heart of Ithilien, two Rangers lay with their bellies to the ground, peering over the crest of a hillock at the strange orange-and-black striped beast aimlessly pacing the ground beyond.

"What think you, Damrod?" Faramir wondered. "Some creature of the Southrons? A beast of war escaped from its masters, perhaps?"

"I know not, my lord," Damrod whispered. "I have never seen nor heard of its like before. If it is the Enemy's, we should take it before they come seeking it. I'd wager these creatures aren't so common in the South that they would simply let one wander free."

Faramir did not respond immediately.

"My lord? Shall I shoot it?"

"I wonder at the beast, Damrod," Faramir mused. "It has not the manner of an animal accustomed to war. It seems almost timid, though it is handsome. If I had my wish, I should like to study it further, and learn what use the Southrons find for it. I take it to be a sort of large cat. Note the eyes—almost intelligent."

Damrod grunted. "If that is a cat, I should hate to see the mice!"

The men had a quiet chuckle.

"Ah well," Faramir sighed at last. "There will be time for wishes if we survive the storm to come. Take it, Damrod. I shall have to be content with studying a handsome carcass."

~Neshomeh

Here's my attempt. It's been a while since I've read the books, and I'm a bit rusty. Feel free to tear it apart.

#4 A Whole Quidditch Team Plus One!
after harry destroyed voldemort, he and ginny got married and had many kids eight to be exact but what happens when some of voldemorts old followers try to rebuild their fallen lords empire and make another dark lord sorry story is WAY better then summary

The world spun and blurred, and it was all Harry could do to keep his grip on the Portkey. There were flickers of colour in the void, vanishing as soon as he focused on them.

Abruptly, the spinning stopped, and Harry felt his sneakers touch soil. His fingers loosened on the Portkey, and both it and his glasses clattered to the ground. There was a familiar smell of bone-dirt in the air.

He staggered backwards from the false Wand, stomach churning. The Elder Wand had been taken, and replaced by a transfigured Portkey.

He should have known better than to fall for the same trick as in his fourth year. He should have seen it. He should have known, but he'd been too focused on making sure the Wand was safe after Xenopilius had vanished.

Ginny was going to kill him.

All around him, there were pale bone blurs. Figures stalked through the cemetery fog, whispering to one another. Harry struggled to make out their features, but could only make out their hooded, bright-red dress robes.

"Who's there?" he called, raising his wand in one hand. "Lum-"

Someone grabbed him by the wrist. His hand spasmed, and his wand dropped through suddenly nerveless fingers.

"No magic, Potter." his assailant breathed. "The Dark Lord wants to talk with you."

"Harry."

The man's voice was high and cold. It was also completely familiar.

"Oliver?" Harry gasped.

"In the flesh." the one-time Gryffindor replied, moving closer. "Surprised, Harry?"

"But...why?" Harry finally spluttered.

"Quidditch."

"What?"

"Lord Voldemort promised me unrivaled Quidditch skills if I swore loyalty to him. He came to my house the Summer before the Triwizard Tournament,. It was an easy choice. The rest of my team agreed as well once I raised the question. As for Goyle here, we keep him around to fetch lost Quaffles."

Harry stared, his mind in turmoil.

"You can do the same. These dress robes aren't so bad once you get used to them. And with you as Seeker and with the Elder Wand, we'll have a team that will take the World Cup by storm."

Oliver straightened, looking Harry in the face for the first time since his arrival. There was an all-too familiar, maniacal glint in the older man's eyes.

"So. What's it going to be, Harry?"

"A young, neglected, teenager finds herself in her favorite movie/book, and falling in love with a character.. but will she be able to return to her old life if her being there affects the story? And what happens when she meets someone there from Earth? OC"

Alicia batted her eyelashes, and Legolas smiled down at her.

"Alicia," he breathed, "once the Ring is destroyed, let us live together for the rest of our lives."

"Live together?" Alicia said dubiously. She recalled something about Legolas sailing over the sea, so if they lived together for the rest of their lives...wouldn't that screw up the plotline?

Then Legolas leaned in even closer, and Alicia abandoned all thought and leaned in as well, and their lips were about to touch...

"ALICIA?"

Alicia shrieked and whipped around and spotted a dark-haired, bespectacled boy glaring at her.

"Who is this?" demanded Legolas.

Alicia swallowed. "Um...Legolas...meet my boyfriend, Brendan."


~X.B.

"First Fanfic that i've published. OC who gets dropped into ME, but different because she has been tranformed into a tiger. Like in Breaty and the Beast she must make another see past her animal form to return to being human."

It was half past two AM ship-time, and SSV Normandy was making good progress towards Noveria.

Commander Shepard was in her quarters, asleep. The intercom chimed.

"Commander?"

Shepard rolled over in her and rubbed her eyes. "What is it, XO?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "There is a tiger in the cargo bay, sir."

"I must be asleep because I could swear you just said there's a tiger in the cargo bay."

"There is, sir."

"Is this a joke, Prestley? I am not laughing."

"There is a tiger in the cargo bay, Commander."

She sat up and thought. Assuming it was an actual tiger, it would qualify as a rare species specimen under Regulation TA77 and would need to be immediately returned to a nearby space station for processing and transport. The cargo bay would have to be disinfected, and the breach thoroughly investigated.

"Prestley, open the bay doors and flush it out into space."

"Commander?!" Prestley said in disbelief.

"I have a galaxy to save. Flush it out. That is an order." She closed the intercom. The hull of the Normandy trembled imperceptibly.

#9 Those blue eyes
Legolas is so depressed that he runs away and tries to live a fake life. Can his friends find him now that he won't look like himself? I've edited and reposted chapter one so I hope its an improvement

"Legolas!" Gimli yelled, seeing a familiar figure across the cavern.

Crossing the cavern was made more complicated by the line of deep pools that the Deeping Stream ran through. Hesitant to mar the beauty of the chamber, the dwarves had constructed only the fewest, smallest bridges that they could. By the time that Gimli had arrived, Legolas had almost disappeared down one of the long hallways connecting to other caverns.

"Legolas!" Gimli yelled again, and hurried to catch up.

Legolas turned to face him, displaying on of the strangest things Gimli had ever seen. Attached to his face was a clump of wool, covering much of his mouth and chin.

"Who is this Legolas?" Legolas asked in horribly accented Khazad. "I'm... err... Durin."

For half a second, Gimli considered playing along. Then he remembered that he had Responsibilities to his caves and his people.

"Legolas," he said flatly, "You're six feet tall. You're maybe two-thirds as wide as the average dwarf. It's going to take a lot more than a fake beard to disguise yourself."