Subject: Permission granted!
Author:
Posted on: 2011-01-23 20:30:00 UTC

I agree with the others: the story is very good. I like that you took your time building it up, so that even though it's a short piece, it doesn't seem rushed. And, of course, the ending. {= )

There's one line where a couple of mistakes got missed, in case you want to fix them:

"What choice do we have," she asked. "Or nation ... "

should read (with my corrections in red):

"What choice do we have?" she asked. "Our nation ... "

Anyway, your agents seem a good match, and I'll be interested to see what happens to them. Especially when the first Warrior!Sue shows up. ^_^

By the way, how long have you been around, Doc? A year or two?

~Neshomeh

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