If you really wanted to save the kid...

"Lisa Is Pregnant": is this sporkable? by Laburnum on 2011-01-08 19:59:00 UTC Reply

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/LisaIsPregnant
For those wanting to avoid the black hole that is TVTropes, it's a terrible, terrible fic in which Bart Simpson impregnates his sister (author claims they're older than they are in canon, but doesn't say by how much). It's so clumsily written it's barely possible to make out what's going on, which makes it more funny than squicky. It's very short, though, but I think I could work around that. Does anyone else think it's worth trying? Also, is the baby worth saving if we do? It has no possible defining characteristics, so I'm not sure what should be done with it.

Bart impregnating his sister.... by Vilstrup on 2011-01-09 10:14:00 UTC Reply

that sounds like a very serious charge. Simpsons is funny, and different and such, but that is one subject that is too out of the box, even for them.

As for the writting itself, I'd say the SPaG of this fic, could give you a reason alone for sporking it.

As for the baby... you could send it to the Department of Medical care. Then, when it had the right age, it could be send to the Department of Personnel, where it would trained to become an agent. Either that, or erase it.... permanently.

It would be easier to get rid of it ... by Laburnum on 2011-01-09 11:46:00 UTC Reply

... but I really don't think I can make abortion/miscarriage funny if it happens in anything remotely approaching a realistic way. Maybe if logic coming into the universe erases it automatically it'd work better ...

Re: It would be easier to get rid of it ... by Data Junkie on 2011-01-09 14:14:00 UTC Reply

Sadly, since it's technicially possible for Lisa to get pregnant, I doubt the baby could be logic-bombed out of existence like an mpreg baby could be. If Bart had been impregnated by Lisa on the other hand...

My suggestion? Toss the kid into PPC Child Care and forget about it.

I dunno, maybe ... by Laburnum on 2011-01-09 15:38:00 UTC Reply

Since it doesn't mention Lisa's old enough to get pregnant until after someone pointed it out to the author, maybe her sudden age-up would damage the baby sufficiently that it'd be nonviable. Nobody's ever lost a baby that way in real life, so I'd feel better about using that. Would result in "squicked agents" rather than "funny", but I'd be a lot more at ease with it.

genetics? by Az on 2011-01-09 05:48:00 UTC Reply

Well, Springfield does have a huge nuclear power plant. If Lisa is somehow exposed to the radioactive material you could say that the fetus suffered so much genetic damage that it is now unviable.

On the squicky end of that, severe genetic damage usually results in spontaneous abortion of the fetus.

I'm not keen to lose it in a way which could seem serious. by Laburnum on 2011-01-09 10:07:00 UTC Reply

I'm a little uncomfortable with using things which can actually cause abortion in real life to remove an inconvenient Sue child. It doesn't really seem to fit with the spirit of the PPC. (Admittedly I did have victim characters raped to death by trees, but nobody's ever had that happen to them in real life. If it was a human character doing it, I wouldn't have used that.)

Re: I'm not keen to lose it in a way which could seem serious. by orangedream13 on 2011-01-17 18:35:00 UTC Reply

Well I'm sure the mini balrogs would eat it.

*snerk* by PoorCynic on 2011-01-08 23:42:00 UTC Reply

Wow. There are very few things I would consider bad enough to actually be funny. That story actually made the grade. Spork it!

As for the baby, this may sound slightly callous but I'd argue that it shouldn't be saved. Besides having no real defining characteristics, it's the product of brother-sister incest. You might be able to argue that Medical could ensure that there are no birth defects, but that'll always be a problem in the child's backstory.

Makes sense ... by Laburnum on 2011-01-09 00:43:00 UTC Reply

... but I feel kind of bad about letting it die, even so. I always prefer to save the Sue-kids if possible. 'Swhy I had something go horribly wrong and damage the foetus beyond saving in that one with Mariel - because I couldn't think of anything to do with it. Not sure what could happen to render this one unretrievable.

If you really wanted to save the kid... by PoorCynic on 2011-01-09 05:19:00 UTC Reply

I wrote up a draft of a mission involving Mpreg from a Kingdom Hearts/Nightmare Before Christmas crossover AU. It was a mess. The baby would have been the product of a vampire!Nobody and a living doll!Nobody. That's three 'species' that don't really translate well to normal human growth. I couldn't figure out how to turn this mashup kid into something that made sense.

The idea I came up with was a 'Reality transfusion.' Basically, one of my human agents would have had to donate a bit of their blood to Medical. They, in turn, would have used that blood to filter out the more nonsensical parts of the child's DNA. The child would end up human but still containing elements of the canonical parents.

Now that I read that out loud, it seems even dumber. Still, if you want to save the kid that bad, it's an option.

Something like that. by WikiMaster on 2011-01-09 14:33:00 UTC Reply

And no, it doesn't seem that dumb to me. It's quite novel, actually.

Re: Makes sense ... by Antigone68104 on 2011-01-09 03:25:00 UTC Reply

I've never been able to "get" The Simpsons, but I was at a friend's apartment when he was watching the movie -- just how bad is Springfield's pollution problem? Bad enough to cause birth defects?

Most probably. by PoorCynic on 2011-01-09 05:20:00 UTC Reply

This is a town that has three-eyed fish. Human birth defects don't seem that unlikely.

homer is even known by Vilstrup on 2011-01-09 10:22:00 UTC Reply

to accidently take plutonium with him home... HE can't reproduct, and it's a miracle that his kids don't have any defect organs... I'd say the chance is high for a defect birth.

*Eye twitches...again* by OpinionedAngel on 2011-01-08 21:10:00 UTC Reply

All I can say here before I loose my temper is that I really hope so!

Just look at the funny bad grammar, it'll defuse the horror. by Laburnum on 2011-01-08 21:54:00 UTC Reply

I quote: "You awake. Bart is d'oh." The description of reproductive equipment as "dominant worm" and "recess receiving organs" was pretty giggleworthy too. Probably counts as sexist, but I was laughing too hard to care.