Welcome, fellow newbie! Have a case of Faygo!

Have some Swiss chocolate and some Bleepka. You'll need them both pretty soon.

Welcome to the PPC! I see that you've answered the standard questions (Have you read the Constitution?/Have you read the Original Series?/What are your fandoms?). I have one more: How have you run across the PPC?

As for your newbie gift:
*rummages through bag of holding*
Here, have a Glite-colored replica of the Death Star! And a Darth Vader mask to look at it with without blinding your eyes!

I see you like Homestuck! Have a Cutlass of Zillywair!

And, by consequence, just a load of Zillium grist. I didn't have anywhere else to put it, so it's yours now, too!

Hey there! Nice to have you a-board! Here's a sparkly thing. Yes, indeed, sparkly things will help you have a good and successful career in the PPC. Now scat and go protect the contiuum...ah, no. Funny how you can say something in your head and it sounds fine... *wanders off muttering*
Anyway. Welcome! Brief virtual hug is in order!

Hello and welcome to the board. As a gift, have a...

hmmm...

Well, I finally finished the stuffed sock snake, so you can have that. I still cannot figure out how to make it alive, but it is still a colorful decoration for any room. The socks were washed before being sewn together, so you do not need to worry about it having an unpleasant odor.

Hehehe, Pokémon references.

Anyway, welcome aboard! Have... hm, what do I have in my stolen Sue-bag...
My TOWEL, BAG FLUFF, the THING MY AUNT GAVE ME, a CHEESE SANDWICH...

Oh dear, I'm just drowning in Hitchhiker's Guide references. I hope I'm not confusing you. Take the cheese sandwich. You'll never know when you'll need it to feed a dog to turn some microscopic aliens peaceful so that they'll let you leave their ship ...or something.

Greetings, new friend! Have a home run bat!

Have some lemming repellent. You'll need it.

We love newbies, so please come in and make yourself at home!

As a welcome gift, have a scene from my namesake: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBc_wUJCXbw

Welcome to the PPC! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Totally not military-grade rocket fuel, nope.

Don't be afraid to jump in on conversations, give your two cents, and have an awesome time!

Welcome welcome!

As no one else has got to it yet, have you gotten the chance to read the Constitution and the Original Series? Also, do you have any favorite fandoms? For example most people around here like Lord of the Rings, and I also have several anime/manga fandoms I claim, as well as Stargate (SG-1 and Atlantis), Chronicles of Narnia, Hunger Games, Artemis Fowl and varying levels of familiarity with Doctor Who, Star Trek (Voyager and TNG particularly) and Firefly. *grumbles a bit* And Twilight, which through some quirk while I'm not a fan, I do have a fair familiarity with it and do intend to send my agents (when I get permission) into the little touched minefield that it is.

As to joining the board as an agent or as something else, really you just join as yourself :) Many on the board write missions and have agents they've created, and being a board member here is one of the requirements for getting Permission so you can write your own missions with agents you've created. The Wiki is also a great source of information! :)

And now welcome gifts!!! Since you didn't list any favorite fandoms I'll start with a chunk of generic stuff. Makes a great book-end, door-stop, paper weight or projectile for sibling or Mary-Sue control. And if you figure out what it is it may be even more useful! You also get, *digs through closet 'o doom* an assortment of candy from Honeydukes (don't mind the newt eye it's sterile) and an acorn in a small dirt filled glass box.

Hmmm... have two blank CD's, a piece of fudge, three red pens without caps, and most of a deck of cards!

Here, have a Pillowcase of Infinite Dimensions Designed for the Sole Purpose of Holding Gifts and accompanied by a Convenient Stick.

-Aila

Welcome to the PPC! You'll find that everyone on the Board is fun, friendly, and have their own unique quirks. Some of might seem weird at first (Okay, more than some. ... Okay. ALL of us might seem weird, and not just at first), but rest assured we are able to function as normal humans without our oddities being detected.

Also, have a cookie.

You can't join as an agent, I'd have already tried if it were possible.

Welcome to the board! Would you like some bleepolate ice cream?