Thanks guys! Now I know!

[Roadblock from GIJoe appears behind him]

Roadblock: And know is half the battle!
Wait, what the--
G.I. JOOOOOOOOOOE!
...What the hell just happened?

as such, a static charge won't be good enough to set off the C4... you'll need a downright detonater designed to set off C4, before you can blow up the monkey :p

and as you've already observed, people do have many variations on mission-writing. There is a basic rhythm to missions, however; it's just a matter of taking that rhythm and fancying it up however you please.

The basic pattern is as follows (using Department of Mary-Sues procedure as an example).

1. Humourous interaction between Agents/arrival of mission on console, announced by BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

2. Agents bicker/pick disguises and/or weapons, and enter fic.

3. Agents go through fic, noting down charges and bickering/ snarking at stupid in the fic/ avoiding being seen/ taking advantage of any mentioned food or chances of sleep/ bickering/ thinking up nasty things to do to the warping characters/ ogling Lust Objects/ bickering/ all of the above.

4. Agents get Sue on her own, charge her, and kill her in as inventive a way as they feel like.

5. Agents rescue any bit-characters they decided to rescue/ neuralyse the canon characters/ steal any of the Sue's belongings they feel like/ go back to HQ.

The Department variations usually come around step 4. I'll add them in too.

Bad Slash: Agents burst in on the characters, stun them enough to stop them struggling, and exorcise them, generally by howling like loons, ringing bells and shouting "AVAUNT!" a lot.

Implausible Crossovers: Agents neuralyse the canon characters and put everything and everyone back in the canon worlds they're supposed to be in.

Geographical Aberrations: As for Mary Sues, but insert an extra step after 4: Agents burn the geographical aberration in question. Laughing dementedly is an optional extra.

Disturbng Acts of Violence: Agents rescue the character who has suffered said disturbing acts and take him/her to DAVD Physician Fizz R, then bring him/her back once healed up.

Floaters: Any of the above.

Hope this was useful!

As you've already noticed every agent as a different style of reporting their missions. This is because the only requirements to a mission are: agent(s) is/are sent into a story, take(s) note of all the chargeable offenses and in the end find(s) the Sue/Stu and charge(s) her/him. Missions that are not about an OC Sue usually end with an exorcism or retreving canon characters from cowering in plotholes.

Paperwork is usually glossed over by authors, but agents complain about it plenty.

Yes, the monkey would explode if the C4 exploded. The monkey would not explode on its own, though. Only as a side effect of the C4 exploding. I don't know whether building up static is enough to make C4 explode.

How an individual mission is written really depends on the writer, to be honest. However, barring stylistic choices, it usually goes as such:

1.) A mission is received by the agents via the console and/or given to them as punishment for an Incident (Noodle or otherwise) by the Flower that heads up their Department.

2.) After selecting 'Verse-appropriate weapons and disguises, the agents enter the affected continuum.

3.) Charges are noted and written down (these must be read to the Sue/Author Wraith if in DMS; DBS requires charges to be written but not necessarily read out loud).

4.) The force affecting the continuum (The Sue/Author Wraith/Bad Slash, etc)is killed/exorcised/banished from said continuum.

I'm not sure about the paperwork (though Glod knows there's probably enough of it to deal with), and as for the monkey, well, a better question would be do you have enough amber rods and cats on circular treadmills to create enough static electricity?

(In all seriousness, though, you'd need something other than static electricity to detonate C-4, IIRC)