I don't know. It works for me. It's possible your computer is lagging and doesn't like googledocs. Try again, and let it sit and load for a second. Sometimes it is slow. Would you like to to host it elsewhere for you and link?

I'm still nailing down the style and tone I use in these missions, and what name I refer to the characters influences that. Using a different name sometimes changes the feel of a paragraph. COMMENCE EXTREMELY NIT PICKY PRETENTIOUS EXPLANATION.

"Aster Corbett, in all of her dignity, tripped over a misplaced comma and was sent rocketing out a second story window."

(This feels more full-bodied and 'round' to me. Aster Corbett, with all of her being, trips over something.)

"Agent Corbett, in all of her dignity, tripped over a misplaced comma and was sent rocketing out a second story window."

(This feels more 'professional' on Aster's part, and the blunder is very un-professional, changing the tone of the feel of the statement slightly.)

"Aster, in all of her dignity, tripped over a misplaced comma and was sent rocketing out a second story window."

(This is more colloquial, more like the antics of a klutzy kid rather than a professional or grown-up's screw-up.)

"Corbett, in all of her dignity, tripped over a misplaced comma and was sent rocketing out a second story window."

(This is more distant and impersonal than any of them. Using a surname only creates a distance and a coldness between the character and the reader. This doesn't fit the feel of Aster's character, so I don't use it. Usually this is only appropriate to use if the character's personal name has never been mentioned, which makes them only an acquaintance anyway, not a friend.)

In this mission, Aster Corbett herself is just being introduced, so I use her full name a lot to kind of present her. Also, it is her first PPC mission, so I refer to her a lot as a more 'professional' figure... though just to point out with her actions she's anything but professional and is still quite noobish.

Later missions, when she's more comfortable, I probably will just use her first name more. Lore is immune to this. Lore is Lore. Sometimes he is Agent Lore, at which point he is all business, but otherwise... Lore is mysterious, but very plain and doesn't need any modifier.

Also, I don't like using 'the girl' or 'the woman' to refer to Aster, because there's often more than one girl or woman around if we're chasing a Mary Sue-- and also it makes Aster feel younger, or older, when she's really age-neutral at 20 years old and doesn't act quite like a child or quite like an adult. Also , 'the agent' is right out most of the time, too-- both Aster and Lore are PPC agents and using this could mean either of them if they're in the same scene together. Word Worlds face enough pronoun and character identification errors without me helping!

I think about this stuff all the time. There's a mouth-feel to writing, I think... which is why terrible writing sometimes tastes so bad. It has an unpleasant tone and texture that doesn't go down the gullet very well, or use diction to portray any kind of attitude towards the characters or setting.

Yeah, liked that one too. And yes, well done for the mission.

Let me see into my shiny blue crystal ball... you will have a bright future here. That's 10 rupees then. Oh, and have some hearts.