Subject: Hi.
Author:
Posted on: 2010-11-18 04:34:00 UTC
After talking this over with Makari, I'm going to have to say no.
Your writing sample seemed lacking; it wasn't emotionally engaging, and seemed very focused on the logistics of the game, instead of character development. Your character showed potential at first, but I found a lot of her actions towards the Piplup very illogical-- it seemed like you were trying too hard to set up the Pokemon-as-Tools archetypal character, without giving in-story reasoning. With your Agents' descriptions being so vague, it's hard to approve Permission without knowing that your writing style has improved since that sample to the point where you won't fall into the same traps with them.
Don't take this as a final ending-- feel free to work on your agents and writing sample, and re-apply! Plenty of people do, and I'd hate to see you give up entirely just because of this. I would recommend adding an introduction to your Agents with your next application-- it makes things much easier for PGs to see what you're planning to do with them.
(As an aside: please try to avoid re-posting a topic before it's fallen off the first page of the 'Board. Every new topic does push an old one off the edge.)