Sorry this is so late by
Miah
on 2010-11-17 03:31:00 UTC
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I kind of got lost in Dwarf Fortress recently. I liked this mission. These two are pretty good together. I liked the bit about the Sue making Bella Swan look deep, and that line actually being a charge that Caleb wrote down. Also liked the bit about Kestrel throwing her knife at his throat at full force, because she knew it would bounce off. I saw a couple of typos.
I don't know the canon at all, but I'd watch a movie starring Stephen Fry and Orlando Bloom.;)
triggered a few paragraphs worth of inner turmoil concerning her own love live with the as-of-yet unseen “John”.
and they can shove the thing in test tube. Fine with you?”
*dies of laughter* by
Cassie Cameron-Young
on 2010-11-08 08:23:00 UTC
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This is absolutely brilliant. Congratulations on a very funny mission indeed. And yes, the GO fandom is generally pretty good; the Official Fanfic University for it is actually a summer school attended by about twelve people in all. :P It's still being written and all, but it's good.
Um, waffling over now. >.
That was enormously entertaining. by
Makari
on 2010-11-08 07:00:00 UTC
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Good fun. Interesting fic.
I do have to make one tiny little nitpick. (It's because I care. :P)
When you have a new thought, but the same speaker, it is acceptable to create a new paragraph instead of making a gigantic block of text or stuffing in speech tags willy-nilly. One denotes that it is the same speaker by leaving off the end quote of the paragraph before! Like so.
"Lalalalalala kookaburra sits in the old gum tree, merry merry king of the bushes he.
"And like so. Except with more text."
It's a perfectly acceptable grammatical practice, if my English knowledges haven't suddenly decided to lead me off a cliff.
Aside from that, though, Kestrel and Caleb are immensely hilarious to watch interact. Reeeeally interesting logic that 'fic had.
(Also FF-net has been eating linebreaks of late.)
I do like that Caleb is still definitely /vampire/, despite the sparkly etc. Seems like a fun partnership. :)