Here's a DL-44 blaster pistol. Use it well, it wasn't cheap. Should be useful during your travels as an agent.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

I have found you, my foe, and soon I shall have veng. . . Never mind. . . ummmmm. . . Sorry about that, thought you were someone else. Have a small rabbit skin pouch, to put things in. Have a nice time!

Do not feed it Sues.

Hello! You are now the proud owner of a Badass Longcoat, a fedora, a pocket watch, and a tuxedo cat named Faye. You now stink of class, ma'am...sir...whatever you are!

Have a pet cat and a Pie of Rassilon. You may name the cat whatever you wish, As for the pie...let's just say it's slightly inedible.

Pleasure to meet you, glad to see you've left your insanity at the door. Make sure you have your receipt to reclaim it later, and keep said receipt away from the Minis roaming HQ. Here, have some chocolate and a kettle. Makes good tea and also a good bludgeoning item.

Welcome to the PPC, foreign newcomer! Hope that you enjoy your stay here. If you do get permission, though, then be careful. You might never know when you'll encounter a sue that could break your mind in being unrealistic.

Weclome, I have for you an assortment of pointy things. It includes, but it not limited to, shorswords, spears,pencils and the letter V.

Hi!

Have a pecan braid pastry. *munch* And a handy-dandy Nondescript Knife, very good survival weapon.

Just wanted to let you know that you should ask for permission only after proving yourself (or whatever) for like a month. And picking the proper sporkable badfic, and writing agent profiles. But no worries, you only get turned away if you have some serious logical problems or your beta obviously can't beta, or something like that...

I like your name. I use ellipses all the time. :D

Welcome to the board! Here, have some chocolate and enjoy your stay!

Welcome, new friend!

Have a venomous arthropod!

Have a gun. Killing Sues will be easier, I already killed a pair with a pistol.

Glad to see you here in the world of the PPC.

I'm not a Permission Giver, but I'd like to extend my most hearty welcomes anyway.

Have a chocolate spork and a metal one! One's for eating and one's for killing Sues--please don't confuse which is which.

All the best,
Mystia

Here, have a Cadian-pattern lasgun. It's slightly more effective than a flashlight.

But don't get too hasty, there! I'm sure we'd all like to talk civilly for a bit before we get to the violence and suchlike. BENSON! Some tea, if you will.