Good to have you... wow, so many recruits! :D
I'm Aeidhryn, the Perpetual Newbie.
Miah? Awesome. LotR is going to be very useful when you come across the inside jokes.
Word of advice? Don't post new threads more than twice a day. Most people confine it to once a week.
And... *where is my newbie gift package?* One minute... *I think I'm running out...*
Here ya go. One package of plastique, one lighter, and some Skör bars. And because I just finished reading the Fifth Elephant, also a wolfhound.
His name is Cedric. Don't feed him (or any other pet you acquire) eat Sues. They'll make him violently sick.

Raw meat works just fine.

Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies. Please use responsibly!

Have a giant flashlight to blind Sues with, or... whatever. I don't know where I came up with this one from.

Welcome! Have an assotment of pointy objects including, but not limited to: toothpicks, allegorical stories and swords.

Have some House Roac hot chocolate. It's delicious, even without whipped cream. I hope you enjoy your stay.

Welcome, and twice welcome! It's good to have you!

I hope that you have a nice visit here! (I've also never expected anybody's relatives to come here...but don't worry. It's all cool).

Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, won't you?

Welcome to the PPC, it's great to have you on board. Here, have a cup of tea and a leatherbound edition of the LoTR trilogy (large and heavy. Great for exorcisms.)

Have some slightly unorthodox cookies!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs!

Have a gun. Useful to kill Sues with, and also does a loud bang that is useful for exorcization. But you can have a silencer, too.

Have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish. Be careful, she bites!

Welcome, new friend! It's good to meet some of Miah's family.

Have a Bomb Glove and a Metal Gear! The Metal Gear is only a model...but the Bomb Glove is fully functional! On that note, please be very, very careful while using the Bomb Glove.

Please accept this Morph-o-Ray as a welcoming gift. Remember to point it away from your face at all times.

Tave two tribbles, feed them and you'll have loads.

*Hides from punctuation shower.

Welcome, welcome, welcome!

Hello. Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

:D

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here.

Have a panda that eats, shoots and leaves!

Hail and well met, elen sila lumenn' omentielvo, et cetera. Glad you're here! Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Objects, and may they come in handy!

Welcome, o Kin-of-Miah. Have a Newbie hat (In your choice of urple or blello) and your official Frying Pan of DOOM^TM.

You here a sound. It was faint at first, just at the edge of one's hearing, but as the wind kicked up, the sound came in clearer, louder. A screeching, grinding wail, rhythmically pulsing like the beat of a human heart. A light appeared, shimmering in time, and with every pulse grew brighter. Then, with a clunk and a whir, a large blur police box solidified, the wail petering off into a gentle sub-sonic hum. The Door on the side of the police box opens and a tall thin man pops out.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor." To the uneducated observer, this tall thin man looked like some kind of crazed old-fashioned professor, with his tweed jacket and suspenders and bow-tie, but he was too young to be a professor, his hair hair coiffed in some kind of ridiculous pompadour. But his eyes, his eyes gave away what he really was. They were eyes that had seen empires rise, galaxies come into being, stars being born, and all of them return to dust. Eyes that had seen everything. Eyes that right now were looking rather confused.

"Oh, I am terribly sorry madam," He said after looking around. "I seem to have wandered into here by mistake. I'll be going now." And with those words the man popped back into his box and, in a inverted but similar method to its arrival, the police box vanishes. As the last waves of sound fade an average sized, average blond man in a black duster walks around a corner and slows to a stop next to you.

"Rammu." He says, looking you over. "You must be new. Please allow me to bless you." Bowing his head he speaks in a strange and alien language. "Syo ouin pmyta cdyo crynb. Syo ouin yes cdyo dnia. Syo ouin creamt cdyo cdnuhk. Yht syo ouin vuac cdyo tayt. Huf ku vundr, yht vekrd!" As he finishes he traces an odd symbol over his heart and walks off. "Have fun now." He calls over his shoulder.

Do not feed it Sues.