Subject: No, no, feed it to the snake!
Author:
Posted on: 2010-09-06 06:57:00 UTC
And if it doesn't choke on the thing, I have a nice supply! *hands you more*
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New to the board by
on 2010-09-06 03:14:00 UTC
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So, I've been directed here by a review on a PPC-style fic I wrote... >> Sorry for jumping the gun and deciding to murder Sues pre-emptively, but some of them were -really- asking for it...
I'm not sure if there's a proper format for first-time posters... and apologize if I've broken any protocols I was unaware of.
So... hi! ^^ I'm Kassy, I write in the LoTR and recently the Bleach canons. I'm a total geek in real life who speaks Chinese and enjoys Doctor Who and videogames. -
Greetings! by
on 2010-09-07 00:27:00 UTC
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Well met, newbie! Please enjoy this 1-up as a welcoming gift.
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*Mario 1-up music plays* (nm) by
on 2010-09-07 02:36:00 UTC
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Here's an explosive of your choice by
on 2010-09-06 23:24:00 UTC
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To aid you in killing Sues.
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*Puts explosive out of reach of partner* by
on 2010-09-07 02:36:00 UTC
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She gets a little explosion-happy when upset...
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Hello there! by
on 2010-09-06 22:31:00 UTC
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Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, won't you?
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Mmmm, sugar :) by
on 2010-09-07 02:44:00 UTC
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*munches chocolate*
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Chinese... by
on 2010-09-06 20:09:00 UTC
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*I am jealous*
Have a Skör bar. And some plastique. And don't ask me where either came from.
*Everyone has stashes, you know* -
If you haven't already noticed... by
on 2010-09-07 20:53:00 UTC
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Some of us have large stashes of plover and tall ships...
Oh, you might want this storage-vacuum as well. I don't know if it's legal, but you'll certainly need it for all the random gifts. -
*Accepts both* by
on 2010-09-07 02:33:00 UTC
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*Munches candy*
*stores away plastique* -
Welcome. Here's a tall ship. by
on 2010-09-06 18:42:00 UTC
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Fair winds!
Now you can throw BBQs. -
Yay for barbecues ^_^ by
on 2010-09-07 02:34:00 UTC
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Grill, explosive. Soda, flat. Potato chips, stale. Meat, unidentifiable. Ladies and gentlemen, we have barbecue. (not exact quote from Jay and Acacia)
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Welcome! Have a bottle of Generic Grey paint! by
on 2010-09-06 18:09:00 UTC
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Perfect for painting over burns, arrow-holes, and ominous stains on RC walls!
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*accepts paint* :D (nm) by
on 2010-09-07 02:28:00 UTC
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Hello by
on 2010-09-06 13:21:00 UTC
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Just made a short visit to your profile on Ffnet. Like your statement on Steven Moffat. Gave me the giggles. Still does. First time I read it, it was posted by someone who didn't agree. That gave me even more giggles.
Other statements like that that made me laugh are those by fans who after CoE said they wanted Steven Moffat to have written the third series of Torchwood. I've been saying Moffat should write Torchwood since series one of Torchwood. Because I wanted a story like CoE. I doubt Moffat would have not killed Ianto. These fans believe he would have kept Ianto alive. I think they are not very familiar with Moffats other work.
As for protocol: I'd written a few PPC missions before I found the board. I don't think it has been held against me. -
Re: Hello by
on 2010-09-07 02:27:00 UTC
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I was cackling when I found it, hence why it is on my profile on ff.net. I -really- dislike Rose (she was OK with Nine, but she should not have stayed on with Ten)...
Oh Lord don't go on about CoE. One of my friends -refuses- to watch Day 4 (I think?) because she's a massive Ianto fan... Kinda the same reason I didn't watch End of Time (denial...). It was epic even if it left me in tears. -
Have a Bengal Tiger! by
on 2010-09-06 12:36:00 UTC
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Do not feed it Sues. Generic Meat would do.
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Stripey kitty! by
on 2010-09-07 02:45:00 UTC
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*cuddles tiger*
I'll keep that in mind the next time I go on a mission... sparkles cause indigestion of the worst kind. -
Hail! by
on 2010-09-06 11:11:00 UTC
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That's "hail" as in the greeting, not as in the frozen precipitation.
Welcome to the Board! Fun, there be another Cassie here (with different spellingses, precious). :D
I hereby present you with a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object, which I hope will serve you well. -
Re: Hail! by
on 2010-09-07 02:20:00 UTC
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*stows pebbles away to throw at Sues when bored*
SHINY!!!!!!!! :D -
Welcome, fellow Whovian! by
on 2010-09-06 08:58:00 UTC
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Have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish.
So, are you into old Who or new? -
KITTY!! :D by
on 2010-09-06 09:09:00 UTC
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Wow, I'm developing quite the zoo. A Pidgin, a dog, and now a pet cat ^_^
I shall name her... Angel :D
New, but I have seen bits and pieces of the old stuff (Roger Delgado as the Master in one of the earlier Auton episodes springs to mind). I am an irrepressible David Tennant/Ten fan, although Nine and Jack are awesome too. Favorite female companion is by far Donna. (Catherine Tate is hilarious) -
Re: KITTY!! :D by
on 2010-09-06 11:49:00 UTC
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Donna is badass, non?
I like Martha overall, though. Not sure why.
Delgado, by the way, is also badass. =D -
Re: KITTY!! :D by
on 2010-09-07 02:20:00 UTC
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Indeed she is, and Martha's my second favorite. NOT a Rose fan.
Delgado looked so eeeeeeeeeevil >:D -
Have a shiny quill pen! by
on 2010-09-06 08:17:00 UTC
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Great for writing up charges.
(I did not make the above-pictured quill pen, sadly. I make other stuff with feathers though...) -
O_O by
on 2010-09-06 08:18:00 UTC
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Sweet Eru that is a beautiful pen *Hugs it*
What do you make with feathers, then? -
Hi again! by
on 2010-09-06 06:59:00 UTC
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I suspect I'm at least partially to blame for linking you here, although you should probably blame Miah as well. Regardless, welcome to our little corner of the internet!
*gives Kassy a PPC bumper sticker*
I'm an IRL nerd as well - Lord of the Rings is awesome, as are the works of Neal Stephenson. -
It's YOU! :D by
on 2010-09-06 07:03:00 UTC
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Hello indeed! :)
Partly you and partly Neshomeh, in all honesty, because she gave me the link -ages- ago and I never got around to posting due to work and school.
*looks at bicycle, which is current mode of transportation due to not having a driver's license*
*decides to save bumper sticker for later*
Ah, yes, Neal Stephenson :) I read the Baroque Cycle when in school and loved it. I'm also a huge fan of Steven Erikson's Malazan Book of the Fallen. -
Nice! by
on 2010-09-06 07:07:00 UTC
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I'm still hunting for part two of the first volume of the Baroque Cycle - I've got parts one and three thereof, and the entire second volume, but I really don't want to read them out of sequence.
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Ah, yeah, I do that too by
on 2010-09-06 08:21:00 UTC
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I hate reading things out of order, and things like the Malazan Book of the Fallen series... if you read them out of order, you are -completely- lost, particularly in the later books. Fantastic series though.
I was lucky enough that my high school library had a fairly extensive sci-fi/fantasy section ^_^ I was its most frequent patron :D -
Welcome by
on 2010-09-06 06:51:00 UTC
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Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.
Please use themIRresponsibly!
I am so glad you are still interested in the PPC, and came to hang out with us. -
Yay for timey-wimey scarves of Awesomeness. ^_^ by
on 2010-09-06 06:56:00 UTC
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*happily accepts scarf and candy*
I'd settle for Brainy Specs and a Coat of Swish though ^_^ *is an irrepressible David Tennant fangirl*
Glad to be here, and a pleasure to meet you! :) -
Hi there! by
on 2010-09-06 06:14:00 UTC
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Here, have a cupcake! *hands you one*
While you're at it, have a Pidgin! they're terribly useful! They can speak a simplified linguistic mashup, which is amazingly useful when you want to... um... annoy someone?
.... Please take one, they're reproducing in my RC and even my partner's seventeen cats and my German Shepherd haven't gotten rid of them. I'd offer you two, but then you might have the same problem I am... -
*Accepts cupcake happily, and Pidgin with a dubious look* by
on 2010-09-06 06:25:00 UTC
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I dunno, my partner has a pet snake... hopefully the snake won't find the Pidgin particularly tasty?
Oh well, I suppose I could hide the critter and haul it out if-- no, WHEN-- we get assigned an Elrond Sue. Yep, partner's an Elrond fan (to be specific, Hugo Weaving in general). -
No, no, feed it to the snake! by
on 2010-09-06 06:57:00 UTC
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And if it doesn't choke on the thing, I have a nice supply! *hands you more*
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Er... I think I'd better not ^^;; by
on 2010-09-06 07:05:00 UTC
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It's my partner's snake, and she would get very upset if something happened to it. She's rather attached to it-- eep!
*is buried under Pidgins* -
Good to have you a-Board! by
on 2010-09-06 06:09:00 UTC
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Welcome, new friend!
Have a purebred Shih Tzu! It doesn't speak Chinese, but it does like to play video games. -
PUPPY! by
on 2010-09-06 06:17:00 UTC
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*cuddles the Shih Tzu*
ehehe. Happen to have a huge soft spot for cute and cuddly creatures, particularly dogs... -
Hallo! by
on 2010-09-06 05:29:00 UTC
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Welcome to the board! Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies, please use responsibly!
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^_^!!!!! by
on 2010-09-06 05:31:00 UTC
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*Hugs sonic screwdriver to her* I shall treasure it and love it forever!
*Munches jelly baby, then offers the bag around* -
Welcome! Have a pancake! (and LINKS) by
on 2010-09-06 05:22:00 UTC
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Yes, that is my strange and useless newbie gift. Treasure it.
Nice to meet you :) As the others have said, no worries at all about taking on Sues yourself! We don't have a monopoly on that; the only thing we're protective of is the shared world of the PPC - our methods and gadgets and history and so on, which is why we have people ask Permission before they write for us, but by no means are we the only ones. So don't worry. :)
And of course, as Baird has said, we don't just kill Sues - that's how it started, but we've branched out. Anyway, here are The Links, are a collection of articles and other useful URLs that we politely ask every newbie to read, as they really do contain Useful Information. It's a lot of information, but it should explain everything you need to know about the PPC.
In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:
* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.
The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board
The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.
And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC
Hope you're not feeling overwhelmed. Again, lovely to meet you :) -
*has finally plowed through all the links* by
on 2010-09-06 06:36:00 UTC
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... whew. *sags* A tad overwhelming, but not by much ^^;;
Pleased to be here! :D -
That was quick! by
on 2010-09-07 00:08:00 UTC
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When I give out the Links, I don't usually expect people to read through them all immediately - but I'm very happy to hear that you did! And impressed. Glad it wasn't too overwhelming, too.
To counter that, here's an exdtra newbie gift - a chocolate bathtub. :) -
What can I say... by
on 2010-09-07 05:27:00 UTC
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I'm a fast reader ^^;;; Besides, don't want to offend anyone.
I've already got a couple PPC missions written... if I see other badfic, can I take it on without posting up Permission...? Or would that be bad?
*munches chocolate* -
Re: What can I say... by
on 2010-09-08 04:21:00 UTC
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You wouldn't offend anyone by not reading all our articles, byut you certainly earn extra points for doing so :)
Writing PPC missions before getting Permission is frowned upon, yes. In these cases, we ask that people don't post their missions until after they get Permission. If you see a new badfic, you can certainly claim it and even start writing pre-mission notes (finding charges, et cetera), but please don't write anything.
If the things you wrote already are PPC-style only and not PPC missions (as in, not including any original PPC elements, like the portals and disguise generators and Flowers and so on), then you can do whatever you like with them. -
Greetings by
on 2010-09-06 04:43:00 UTC
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Hello I'm Silver and welcome to the party. Here, have a shotgun loaded with rock salt rounds, good for taking out ghosts, wraiths, and author-wraiths. And now I leave you with a blessing.
Syo ouin cfunt cdyo crynb, syo ouin yes cdyo dnia, yht syo ouin vuac cdyo tayt. -
*Accepts shotgun happily* by
on 2010-09-06 04:47:00 UTC
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Explodey things make me happy :D
... I don't speak Welsh (I think) but thank you anyway :) -
yldiymmo by
on 2010-09-06 11:02:00 UTC
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It's Al Bhed. I got bored and had recently played FFX. It says "May your sword stay sharp, may your aim stay true, and may your foes stay dead." It's a modification of an old war blessing.
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Ooooh, I like it. by
on 2010-09-07 05:24:00 UTC
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*writes it down for future use*
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Welcome! by
on 2010-09-06 04:16:00 UTC
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I'm supposing you were contacted because of the discussion we had on the IRC last night. We (then again, I didn't add much to the conversation...) concluded that PPC-style fics are fanfiction like any other, so we can't go shooting all non-Boarder, PPC fic writers in the face. However, the outliers should be linked to the Boards since many might not know of them. So you're not in trouble...yet. *evil laugh*
Enjoy your stay, and have a multi-purpose pineapple. Good for emergency rations when sliced or diced, and it makes a great blunt weapon when cornered. -
O_O *eep* by
on 2010-09-06 04:19:00 UTC
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*decides that portable bomb shelter is not -quite- ready to be retired*
I prefer bananas :D -
So... by
on 2010-09-06 04:23:00 UTC
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If I hear that someone got whacked by a pineapple, I'll know who it is? XD
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... Perhaps? by
on 2010-09-06 06:39:00 UTC
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My partner is more likely than me to do that. She's very... inventive (and subtle) in ways of killing people, and has a rather nasty streak when irritated. I go for the jugular, since I find bloodshed stress-relieving after a bad fic. I'd be more likely to find a way to impale someone on it.
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Hello! by
on 2010-09-06 04:16:00 UTC
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Hey there, fellow newbie! It's good to know that I'm no longer the newest newbie over here! Hope you have a good time exploring PPC!
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Re: Hello! by
on 2010-09-06 04:25:00 UTC
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Thanks very much, nice to meet you! :)
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Don't worry... by
on 2010-09-06 04:10:00 UTC
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No one is going to jump down your throat for writing a PPC-style fic. There are plenty of other organizations out there doing much the same thing. What we do care about is your total geekiness, which we love.
Also, the PPC is about more than just killing Sues. We handle all manner of badfic. You can find more information on these pages: The Department of Bad Slash, The Department of Implausible Crossovers, The Department of Technical Errors, and The Department of Geographical Aberrations just to name a few.
Enjoy your stay, sanity free.
-Barid -
*feels greatly reassured* by
on 2010-09-06 04:14:00 UTC
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Yes indeed... I have a Thing about bad slash. If it's well written, euh, okay... but if it's non canon and dreadful, it must BURN... >_> Sorry, did I say that out loud? ^^;;;
A pleasure to meet you! :)
... but what is this sanity of which you speak? -
Greetings and Salutations by
on 2010-09-06 04:05:00 UTC
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Here is an assortment of pointy objects. They include, but are not limited to, pencils, wizzzard hats, scissors and fables.
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Yay for pointy objects! by
on 2010-09-06 04:09:00 UTC
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*Starts playing with them* Ooooh shiny :D
Parents refused to let me take up fencing... I wonder why >_> -
I can't imagine. by
on 2010-09-06 17:02:00 UTC
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However you are welcome to use the assorted pointy objects to impale Sues. Even if your parents don't understand.
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They never will, most likely. by
on 2010-09-07 05:25:00 UTC
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But I don't care about that. *sharpens pointy objects*
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First plover! (nm) by
on 2010-09-06 03:45:00 UTC
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Er... pardon? by
on 2010-09-06 03:47:00 UTC
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*Confused look*
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It's a bird. by
on 2010-09-06 05:17:00 UTC
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It's traditional for all us Boarders to give gifts to newbies. It started years ago as a game of poke-the-newbie, so people would write "First poke!" Then it branched out into actual gifts, and Tawaki always gives plovers. We all have one - somewhere :)
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Ah, I see. by
on 2010-09-06 06:41:00 UTC
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*Puts plover out of reach of partner's snake*
Yes, my reptile-happy partner owns a snake... *facepalm* WHY we signed up together I have no idea...
*puts out a pack of cookies for everyone visiting the thread* -
Hi! Yay for more LotR fans! by
on 2010-09-06 03:19:00 UTC
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Lots of info for newbies linked to the bottom of this wiki page--
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/PPC
Also, if you want to read more spinoffs:
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/TheCompleteListofPPC_Fiction
Total geek? You'll fit right in! -
*Peeks out from behind desk* by
on 2010-09-06 03:28:00 UTC
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Yay, people aren't trying to kill me for writing spinoffs without posting here first ^^;
So... nice to meet you, Callista :D
I'm also a fan of Star Wars (I have a role-playing character in that world who I've been writing for two years), Sky High (Warren Peace. Squee ^_^), and perhaps surprisingly, Pokemon. First videogame I ever played, and still playing it now *looks sheepishly down at DS*