Welcome, new friend! Have a Shadow on a leash and a Griseous Orb, though you may have one of the latter already, if your username is any indication. :)

Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies. Please use responsibly.

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here.

Just kidding. Welcome, and would you like a chocolate bar?

Welcome, Newbie! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit, scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish.

I don't suggest opening it anywhere near anything that can burn, or on Earth at all.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs.

Don't feed it Sues.

I think we'll get along quite well indeed. 'specially if you ever wind up with Agents working around Pokemon, 'cause man is that area understaffed. :P

I give you... a Mudkip! :D Because everybody loves them. And this one likes you.

Welcome to the madhouse! Kindly check your soul by the door. You can reclaim it when you leave . . . IF you leave.

Lovely to meet you :) I don't recognise you, no, but that's because I'm not a Pokemon fan. Might I ask what other fandoms you enjoy? Myself, I'm a fan of Star Trek and Wicked, among many others.

Also, here are the regularly-bestowed-upon-newbies Links that are, in short, a collection of articles and other useful URLs that we politely ask every newbie to read, as they really do contain Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Again, nice to meet you, and welcome!

Welcome to the Board! *Vulcan salute* I hereby present you with a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object, and join in your hopes for mutual getting-along-ness.

BTW, when I saw the title, I thought you were reporting a badfic.

It's always nice to see a new face! Please enjoy this set of false mustaches as a welcoming gift.