Subject: Yeah, gotta love the way ...
Author:
Posted on: 2010-08-12 15:14:00 UTC
... that they see the rat and do absolutely nothing, and later on when he breaks into the building all they do is politely ask him to leave and wander off, and then they're surprised by him attacking someone.
Emerging briefly from lurkerville to report this recent Redwall fic:
Trouble in Noonvale
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,171 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-29-10 - Published: 7-24-10
The basic plot point is that a rat comes out of nowhere, rapes Aryah (you know...Latrose's mother?) and then disappears just as quickly as he came.
And where was Urran Voh, her loving and devoted husband while this was happening? Why, he was out on a walk with a Dusky-Footed Woodrat (original capitalization preserved) named Neotoma (which sounds like the kind of name you'd give a cancerous growth that resembles the main character of The Matrix). She has also come out of nowhere, and, without any of the usual questions on exactly why a maiden from a vermin species is in Noonvale, she manages to get the valley's entire population to "party" over her arrival.
So, beatdown of entire story so far...strange-looking ratess comes out of nowhere, and right on her pretty little heels comes the to-be rapist. Rapist sees Aryah, is inexplicably filled with lust, and then runs off before Noonvale can get a good look at him. Ratess dismisses him as "Uhhhhhhh...okkkkeeeeyyyy...that was weeeeeiiiiiiirrrrrrrrddd..." and starts party. Later, ratess lures Voh away from his house for a "walk," in which time rapist preys on Aryah. Vermin conspiracy, or horrendously written Suefic? You decide, I'm too high on Bleeprin to comment.
On a more serious note, the author seems to be a young girl whose other stories, while not being anywhere near works of art, seem to be fairly innocuous. She's also literate; you'll find that her grammar is mostly correct, if her style is a bit awkward. I'm going to try reviewing this story to ask about this apparent fluke.
In the meantime, it's probably a story that should be allowed to age a little. All of the events I recorded happened in just the first two chapters.
Hopefully I might be able to post an actual mission here soon...
One word:
Wow. :O
What... just ...what!? And this is a young girl writing this crap?! Guh...
But it's still bad, especially the whole "'Let's party!' and everyone partyed" bit. And to be fair, "Neotoma" is the genus for the dusky-footed woodrat.
Maybe I was a bit too harsh on her name. I used to do the same thing myself, pick an exotic animal and use the genus name.
But what does make a bleepfic? I used the term to indicate that it was somewhat less than a really bad fic...I guess I was wrong. Ah, the joys of lurking. Drat.
Two chapters and it's already kill-worthy!
... that they see the rat and do absolutely nothing, and later on when he breaks into the building all they do is politely ask him to leave and wander off, and then they're surprised by him attacking someone.