It's even gotten so bad I'd wondered if some of the PPC agents are- but you don't want that kind of depressing-

Well, all I can say is forge ahead. If you post something, let us take a look.

Oh well. I'm actually writing a 'Sue right now- a Bourne 'Sue- but I know it's a Sue and I'll never publish it, so no harm done.

Okay, that's not really helpful either. Sorry.

As a writer, I want to improve my writing skills... but at the same time I'm very paranoid that I might end up writing a bad character. In fact, I'm currently on a bit of a hiatus from writing because of a crisis of faith of sorts with my own writing skills...

I've got a Kingdom Hearts fic on the Pit that I haven't looked at in ages. It got a (very small handful of) positive but general reviews. As college became more time-intensive, I slowed down working on it, and then stopped altogether. Then I discovered the PPC, and began to get worried about whether my OC was a Mary-Sue or not. I've actually become more confident of it lately, and plan to go back and revise the fic before eventually continuing it.

Anyway, I guess we sometimes have to face the fact that, no matter how much we enjoy writing fanfiction, it's always going to be fanfiction. While we should always put in an appropriate effort to make sure it's good, we shouldn't become disheartened when our writing isn't great. No one will ever write about Harry Potter as well as J.K. Rowling did, and that's okay; we can still enjoy the attempt at rising to meet her work even when we don't quite touch it.

Someone who you know can really write, and who knows the canon forwards, backwards, sideways, and quite possibly chewed by a dog, and who is willing to say "Uhm...no. Redo that." Because that way, if they don't say that, you can relax.

It's a pretty worldwide problem, though, so if you can't find a beta reader, I offer up the Mithril Rule of Writing:

Don't think. Write.

Even in original fiction; I always worry about my characters being Sues and my plotlines being fail. Also, those difficult scenes that work in your head but are hard to get right on paper are just pure evil.

What I've written tends to get good reviews, but unhelpful reviews. I much prefer it when people point out what I could have done differently and/or better--somehow, it makes me feel better than pure compliments.

...can be tricky. It's always nice to know that somebody likes your story, but I've seen Legendary Badfics get similar positive feedback. I've made a habit of looking at other fics my reviewers have also given positive reviews, to see if they generally have good taste in writing. But, I know all too well that that is one of the most time-consuming ways to check if your fic is good.

A less...creepy way to check is to let us look at it. We generally only review missions, but I for one wouldn't mind reviewing other Boarder's work.

(And I'm fairly sure that you're distraught, not disraught.)

I know exactly how you feel. I'm wrangling with the same thing myself, actually. Add to that that I've stopped trusting the good reviews I get on the pit, since I've gotten glowing reviews for stories that I think now are PPC worthy. -wince- There's a reason -- apart from my general lazy nature and persistent writer's block -- that I haven't posted anything there in months.

Mainly, I just keep writing. I know it's not a too terribly helpful answer, but it's the only way I've found to get through it. Currently (well, for way over a year now) I'm working on a Harry Potter next generation 'fic, and I too think that my characters are perhaps not quite as canonical as they could be. (It's been a long time since I was eleven, and never have I been the youngest son of a celebrity, so I'm having a hard time imagining how the boys think.) I have a list a couple miles long of things to change once I finish the first draft. But I have to finish it first. I subscribe very firmly to the theory that you can't edit what isn't there, and so I have a first draft first rule. Only when that's finished can I go back in and see if, one, it's worth keeping at all, and two, how to make it better.

I guess this is a kind of a long winded way of saying that we're in the same boat, and I would recommend just writing it as well as you can the first time around, and then going back later. Rereading your own stuff, at least for me, is always fun, and while there are always many cringe-worthy moments, there are often some, "I wrote that? Wow..." moments as well.

Hope this helps. Even if it doesn't, know that you are in no way alone.

--anamia

...that you are even trying to write an OC for FFVII when there's already such a large cast of characters? Could you accomplish the same goals by using established ones?

Besides that it sounds like you're just having the same insecurity all writers do.