Scarily...

Here are my agents. Jason will be transferred to Floaters with Jane. I'm sorry about the long-windedness.
(tl;dr: I can has permission, please?)

Writing Sample: Orcs, Sue Blood, and Coffee

Name: Jane Doe
Species: Dwarf, Tolkienverse
Home Continuum: Lord of the Rings
Department: Department of Floaters
Background: Jane was originally a Random Dwarf whose purpose was to be rescued from a dragon by a Maia!Sue in a Lord of the Rings Suefic. The agents would have left her to be reassimilated into canon, except that the dragon had been described as a "Great Dragon" in a world set just after the War of the Ring. Jane fell through the resulting plot hole into Moria in the second age of Middle-earth, where such a dragon might have been plausible. After killing the Daughter-of-Aragorn Maia!Sue and her friend who was (somehow) Elf, Dwarf, Hobbit, and Man all at once, the agents had to chase down the misplaced dwarf. Without enough charges to kill her, they recruited her instead.
Personality: Written without any personality other than a very sensible fear of dragons, Jane is still figuring out who she is. Her reaction to becoming a PPC agent has been to try to understand her duties as fully as possible; she may be the only agent to have voluntarily studied the PPC manual. During her time in observation at FicPsych, she has developed a taste for coffee. She adopted the name "Jane Doe" because a nurse called her by that name, and as she had none of her own, she figured Jane Doe was as good as any other.
Skills: She is reasonably intelligent and has some mechanical aptitude, but has no experience with modern technology. She speaks Westron and Khudzul, and still requires a Universal Translater to understand English.
Weapons: Jane is competent with most Middle-earth weapons, but prefers her set of three throwing axes.
Appearance: Brown hair, brown eyes, short, and stocky, Jane is the definition of Generic Dwarf. Unfortunately, her beard seems to be unable to make up its mind whether to exist or not.

Name: Jason Harris
Species: Human
Home Continuum: Earth
Department: Department of Operations, Janitorial
Background: Jason grew up in a middle-class suburban neighborhood. With a family that expected him to work hard, achieve a great deal, and become a doctor or possibly a lawyer, it was no wonder that Jason became an expert at slacking off. A solid "C" student at the age of eighteen, Jason had no desire to attend college. To get his father off his back, he answered a want ad for "Janitor. No experience needed," and found himself whisked out of his home continuum and into the confusing maze of HQ, where the Janitorial division explained that they needed someone other than a hallucinogenic plant to clean FicPsych. Five years later, Jason is technically a veteran agent, though only if the definition of "veteran" includes "knows fifteen ways to clean Sue blood off Generic Surface" and "good at hiding in janitor's closets during fangirl stampedes".
Personality: Jason is calm, easygoing, and not given to long speeches. He's may be one of the sanest agents in the PPC, probably because he has never been in the field and exposed to the horrors of badfic. Over the years he has become familiar with many of FicPsych's frequent fliers, and while he does tend to get sarcastic in order to deal with the abuses he witnesses, he has a great deal of compassion for the canons. When he can, Jason will try to get out of work; but in general, he likes his job as a janitor and views the PPC as an escape from his overly demanding family. Unfortunately, Jason has gotten comfortable as a janitor, and we all know what happens when a PPC agent gets comfortable...
Skills: Jason has gotten good at cleaning over the years and has learned to navigate HQ as well as any non-Flower can expect to learn. He's a decent cook, though he doesn't have a chance to practice much, and often toys with the idea of opening a diner.
Weapon: His weapon of choice is a tranquilizer gun or a hand crossbow with sleeping poison darts; with these he is newly trained and still not very good. If forced into melee, Jason tends to resort to the "hit them with whatever heavy object I can grab" strategy.
Appearance: Jason has light blonde hair and blue eyes. He is relatively tall and thin, and in his mid-twenties. He favors jeans and sweatshirts over the PPC uniform and can often be seen with his flashpatch pinned to his civilian clothes.

Fic: Losing the Grip of the Rules (The Giver), in which Jonas and Asher are slashed (without lube), teenage rebellion is inserted sideways into the canon, and the meaning of "Elsewhere" is completely misunderstood.

The fic Jane was rescued from is real. There was, indeed, a Maia!Sue who was Aragorn's daughter, and she did indeed have a friend who was a four-way hybrid of Middle-earth's major races. Add their habit of popping in and out of modern Earth, and you have one major headache.

It was written by two of my friends, who are almost certainly past their Sue stages by now. Intelligently, they never posted their creation.

Of course, I can't be one to talk; having once written a Mary Sue who was the supergenius daughter of the Ellimist (Animorphs). She became a Controller, overpowered her own Yeerk and became an estreen fighter pilot who eventually gained the Q-like power to change reality itself. Next to that, Maiar and four-way hybrids look downright tame.

Thanks so much for the input, Neshomeh! I was a bit worried I wouldn't get FicPsych right. I guess I hadn't anything to worry about!