Subject: Re: Unfortunately, no
Author:
Posted on: 2010-06-27 16:52:00 UTC
Oh well.
Old Ones give me strength.
After a quick read it look solid, others have fixed most of it, but I think they would at least try to treat wounds, although I don't Wraith that well, so perhaps not.
Warnings: The original fic is NSFW, NSFB. It is MA/NC-17 rated. It contains character replacement and graphic descriptions of bloody murder with no remorse and violent sex between two males. The mission is also NSFW and NSFB after the agents step through the portal into the fic due to the nature of the original.
I am not kidding about the warnings.
This is the link to the mission.
https://docs.google.com/document/edit?id=1IsC96dFJ8NSc9MD6lzoX1w2ll5IJM-kzYxOZ54TInCc&hl=en&authkey=CI-IotUG
This is the first mission of Agents David Kelok and Unger. They are currently residing in FicPsych. After this mission they may continue residing in FicPsych.
I'll live to regret this, but okay.
Is there an RL version of Bleep products?
Oh well.
Old Ones give me strength.
After a quick read it look solid, others have fixed most of it, but I think they would at least try to treat wounds, although I don't Wraith that well, so perhaps not.
I added some treatment for Unger's arm, and something about Kelok not being too concerned. He might should be more concerned. He hasn't tested his healing abilities since he started taking Nigel treatments.
I think my biggest worry with this mission is that after my crazy brain came up with a legitimate reason that could have been used to try to explain Holmes' behavior at the end of the story, I have been worrying that maybe it isn't a complete replacement. That there is a missing scene that would explain it. But then I think that if the story had been meant to have some sort of explanation that it wouldn't be found in a missing scene, but would have been included.
*bad brain! Stop trying to find logic and reason in badfic!*
Particularly if you do it during the mission. It's a way of showing the potential the badfic has. If only the author had decided to not go the route of the badfic.
You tend to get your agents talking about how it might make sense, and what should've been explained to fill the plot holes.
I have the same tendencies; I think there are really very few premises that couldn't result in decent fiction, if you explained them well. With fan fiction, there's always the added challenge of staying in canon (as opposed to creating your own), but AU fics let you change the canon if you do it in a logical way.
This fic apparently did NOT explain Watson the Ripper... which is probably one of the (many) reasons it was so bad. My sympathy for your agents, Miah, and may they hold on to their sanity for at least a little while longer!
Like it says on our wiki's AU page, a good AU focuses on how the characters, with their canon personalities intact, would react to a central change.
The thing that sent me off on a mission to this fic was that they took the central change and then just kept throwing in other random changes to justify the continuation of their central one until there was nothing left of the canon but the names.
I'm thinking about putting an author's note at the end of the story saying something along those lines.
Question. I keep thinking about putting a bit more on the end to cover them getting home. I also know that adding too much ruins the story, what do you think about the ending spot?
Maybe show FicPsych's reaction to a couple traumatized agents portaling in...
And yeah... I think Watson might've got away with it if he had used his position as a doctor. A doctor doesn't have to go slasher to be a serial killer; he can do it with quiet injections, conveniently ailing patients who die suddenly... That, I think, might take Holmes some time to find out. And it's more IC for Watson, who if he were a serial killer would be more likely to think "weed out the weak" (or "remove the burden on society") rather than "randomly kill people because it's fun". A serial killer who becomes a doctor almost certainly has the discipline to learn to kill discreetly, and he doesn't befriend a famous detective unless he's thought about how not to get caught (though secretly, of course, he probably wants to be caught). Kind of a pity, really; I could see a decent story coming out of this, if you were sure to warn that you were changing Watson into a serial killer...
and perhaps some dark themes.
Can you tell I hate warnings that spoil part of the surprise?
I've almost got it stuck in my mind that I am going to have to do a story like this--in goodfic form. I really don't read things that I think can never be done well. It's just that some of them that have the potential to be good rarely are.