Subject: So Much Badfic Fail
Author:
Posted on: 2010-05-20 11:13:00 UTC
It's actually been posted on the Unclaimed Badfic page for a while. Three from the bottom of the Kingdom Hearts topic under the title 'If I Were A Nazi.'
Having read it before, I share your pain. So much canon violation...
http://snakesonasora.livejournal.com/18658.html
Summary taken from Tv.Trope's So Bad it's Horrible Fanfic section:
Synopsis: Organization XIII are (human?) Nazis, some more willingly than others. They do things that, in Real Life, would have put them in a concentration camp. Instead, they're running concentration camps between classes...
So Yeah. Anyway, in this fic, Azel is Heinrich Himmler's son (and is gay), Roxas is an SS member (and secretly gay and jewish) and Sora, Riku, and Kairi are fellow Nazis. Anyone see anything wrong with that? I hope it's not too early for me to bring up this fic, it's just that i've started reading it and I well...don't like it very much(Understatement). First Tawaki's request for Naga Eyes' sporking, and now this... I apologize for bringing this fic into your presence. *Vomits into a wooden bucket*
Yeah, I heard of that, and all I can say is: WHAT.
Seriously, WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA FOR A FIC?!?!
There are very few words to describe a SHEER ABOMINATION such as this, so I'm going with what I just wrote.
...well, not my canon, but the one that got me started on fanfic. Poor baby.
(Whoever sporks this, is taking the replacements to the real Holocaust considered in bad taste all things considered? Even if it gets serious for a bit to point out what the real problem is?)
It would only be doing the same thing as the Author did, and would show that we're not any better. So we won't. Mere Exorcism would do, as long as we're not facing any Character Replacements. If so, just use the Heartless, like PoorCynic did in his mission.
I was asking if it was okay to get serious for a minute, drag the Sues to the area in question, and say "THIS. IS. A. BIG. DEAL." I was not suggesting that it be trivialized.
Sorry I misunderstood you.
On forbidden execution methods. Has that subject ever been explored?
So far as I can tell, the main issues with execution methods are that execution methods have to fit into canon, thus the canon-appropriate weapons; or the portaling of Sues into dangerous locations or within reach of dangerous creatures. Portaling Sues into other continua for execution is generally frowned on but still done occasionally.
Torture for torture's sake doesn't fit into most canons; and where it does, it tends to draw attention to the Sue--which is the opposite of what's desirable. Humiliating the Sue makes sense; karmic or ironic deaths make sense; but torture just makes her more sympathetic, which is a Bad Idea. The purpose of a mission is to restore canon, not to get revenge (though agents understandably forget this more often than not!).
Torture can be physical or mental. I think, for example, that somebody on the Wiki mentioned the possibility of disposing of a Sue via the Jaunt--which is torture by any standard despite the lack of pain. Choosing a painful death, especially by canonical methods (like Mirwood spiders), is not forbidden. Deliberately causing more pain, however, is frowned on (for example, shooting a Sue repeatedly in not-immediately-fatal locations is torture; shooting her once and letting her bleed to death is not).
I know--it's a thin line. But hey, they're assassins; what do you expect?
... for finding, er, questionable methods which hadn't been specifically banned yet and using them. Monsters which rape their victims to death are apparently frowned on, as L&F discovered after the incidents in question - one with the Redneck Trees, one with Drip Rat. They claimed they fail to see how it's that much worse than being eaten, but still got in trouble.
(I understand why it's frowned on. The characters did not.)
This fic is a severely damaged badfic. This is not gonna be simple. If this mission is successful with at least a few mistakes, I will be really impressed. And there's the problem how to move the KH canon characters from WW2 Sue!Europe.
And send a crack team of Agents, ones with strong hearts, strong wills, and strong senses of humor.
"How in the world do we herd the entire KH cast through a portal without getting ourselves in serious (albeit hilarious) trouble?" And to that, I have no answer...
That or we knock them unconcious as we exorcise them. Like say, a hammer with KH DVD cases strapped onto it?
...use KH Games Cases. DVD versions don't exist.
It's actually been posted on the Unclaimed Badfic page for a while. Three from the bottom of the Kingdom Hearts topic under the title 'If I Were A Nazi.'
Having read it before, I share your pain. So much canon violation...
I keep laughing whenever I think about it, due to both the excellent sporking and the sheer ridiculousness of the concept. There comes a point where it's just so damn audacious it's funny, but for all the wrong reasons. I think it has reached that point. Twice.
Not that I'd be averse to missioning it. Hell, I don't know a whole lot about KH canon, and I can see most of what's wrong with it!
But you're going to make a mission for it, make sure that contact with Hitler and Himmler is kept to a minimum before the exorcism and neuralyzation. They might get the idea that they can change history with no consequences.
NO.
I hope whoever wrote that... that THING is a troll... but it probably isn't, and that's the scary part...
+++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot. +++
If you want my opinion and reaction, it's more on the terms of pissed off, offended, and facepalming. We should classified some of these fics like this one, In Name Only Fics or INOFs.
Had it's funny moments, as did Naga Eyes. Why, even Land Before Time: LittlefootxCera didn't contain murder (at leat, that's what I could tell from reading the sporking). Only 'For Your Eyes Only' and 'Agony in Pink' and spin-offs approach this in sheer well...Agony. Excuse me, I need some Bleeperin.
...there's one problem with a certain agent, a robot that can't eat nor drink so there's got to be a way to apply bleeperin. Or just memory erase.
Don't forget Immortality in Fickle Affection and Rectified Anonymity. Penis...Hydra....Kooshball....horror...*breaks down into tears*
But I'm pretty sure that those fics were less horrible than this one.
...have english names like Yorkshire Avenue and Stonewall Boulevard, trains can go make the trip from Germany to Poland in a few hours, and Hitler's bunker has poor security to the point where some men with guns can just take Nazi!Organization XIII members hostage in the middle of an assasination attempt. Not that it lasts.
Thing is, from certain parts of Germany, it IS possible to get to Poland in a few hours. Berlin to Warsaw is only about 320 miles. At the German speed limit of 80 m/h, that's a 4 hour trip, not accounting for traffic. A train would go about the same speed, if not a little slower.
A 1930s train would, at full steam, go about 70 m/h, so a 4 or 5 hour train ride into Poland is not out of the question. That is, provided you're in eastern Germany. From western Germany, like Munich, it would take almost 9 hours going full speed for a train to arrive in Warsaw.
Please note that this is just an estimate, actual numbers may vary.
(Source: Google Maps, Google, Wikipedia)