Subject: First pooke! (*pokes*)
Author:
Posted on: 2010-05-19 20:51:00 UTC
Hi, and welcome to insanity the PPC. Here, have a telemarketer guard, and a tank of piranhas! (the links are just so you know what I'm talking about). Anyways, don't worry about what shreds of sanity you may have left--they'll go quickly enough here.
-Honu_Wahine
So, this must be the place where we deal with the blight of fan works. I want to write my own mission since badfics can give me headaches and sometime, groans and wearing out my sanity. My main fandoms are Gundam, videos games, and a few others. I also thought up a few agents, one of them is a robot from Superior Defender Gundam Force. You can contact me anytime, I'm in no hurry.
-Sneezier
The gift in a form of an idea.
If the mary sue or gary stu visit the beauty salon or a barber shop, it is a perfect opportunity to list the charges and go for the kill. The agent can disguise themselves as hairstylists or barbers.
-For Mary Sues: Give them hair treatments such as rearranging their hair style. If you want, you can do something really bad to the hair such as cutting of their hair while listing the charges for better effect, total humiliation for the sue. If the humiliation is so deep, the sue begs to die so use any method to kill her. The alternative is giving them the shampoo treatment. You can use restraints to prevent the sue from escaping. List the charges. Flood the sink so she can drown or electrocute them to death.
-For Gary Stus: Give them a haircut or something depending on the Stu's request. You can choke them with anything in the shop and list the charges before they die from strangulation. Another is the giving the dude a shave. First use the headlock, next is to list the charges, and finally, slit the throat with the razor.(*Pretty Women song not recommended, Bond One Liner optional.)
Welcome! Terribly sorry that I could not pop in and greet you earlier. I have been sucked into the vortex of Goodfic and have only recently managed to extract myself.
Anywho, please accept this gift of a sparkly rock (pickax not included). It works quite well as a paperweight, and may also be thrown at offending 'Sues. An agent working for DTE may also find it useful as a piece of emergency punctuation.
--anamia
p.s. The month goes by quickly, no worries!
It's about vehicles. Aside from the TARDIS and the Sun Crusher, does the PPC has any kind of mecha such as AMP Suits, Knightmare Frames, or Mobile Suits?
The question to ask, though, is: would it be funny? In most cases, something like a mech (or a TARDIS or a Sun Crusher) would be too ostentatious to be useful to a stealth-dependent PPC Agent, but if you can find a way to make it work for humor in a mission, it's totally possible.
~Neshomeh
...I can do something funny with them.
-The agent is goofing around in the mecha.
-If mecha has a chameleon circuit any related stealth device, it tends to be faulty. This leads to amusing situations like shifting from the classic Zaku II to the modern Sutherland.
-Ejection systems can go off at unexpected times.
-They can fall apart.
-Thrusters can short out in mid-flight then crash.
-The auto-pilot can be uncooperative.
Welcome, New Friend! Have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay here!
Have some nicely sharpened pencils, good for writing or fighting. I promise they won't break.
Before I could do my duties, I need some opinion and criticisms on my agents.
Agent Joseph Trevor
Age: 19
Home Continuum: World One
Species: Human
Height: 5’ 6”
Hair: Black
Eyes: Green
Weapon Preference: Wrenches, Sentries (Turrets), Traps
About: Joseph is a calm and collected person with a passion for engineering but due to a paperwork blunder, he's in the Department of Floaters instead of the Department of Sufficiently Advanced Technology so he stuck as an agent to assassinate Sues. With trigger happy Centurio, he has to keep him under control. Mpregs, rape, or any illegal sexual activities snaps his calm demeanor, especially if they involve his lust objects. His attire consists of a worker shirt, goggles (*usually on his hat), a plumber's cap, a jacket, overalls, a tool belt, and boots. His loves anime and video games with a dash of certain movies.
Agent Centurio
Age: 3
Home Continuum: Superior Defender Gundam Force (Neotopia to be precise)
Species: Robot (Combat Mobile Citizen to be precise)
Height: 4' 9"
Hair: N/A
Eyes: Red
Weapon Preference: Guns, Lightsabers
About: A Combat Mobile Citizen from Neotopia as an early byproduct of the Zeta Project. His rather shoot first, ask questions later. A gung-ho robot who loves to collect guns. Much to chagrin to his superiors, he causes a lot of collateral damage at various continua when he's taking on a sue head on. As a result, he's not allowed to do missions until he gets a partner, Joseph. He doesn't like Joseph for being a "wuss" and a "moral restraint" but he secret depended on him to fix him. After all, his body is sturdy but he often broke into body parts and spares are hard to replace. He looks a lot like a short and stubby Hyaku Shiki from Zeta Gundam. Because he can't wear clothing, his body painted black with thin red strips on his arms and legs. The only clothing he wears is an army beret with the DF Flashpatch on it. Also, since he can't eat nor drink, he has to use special gadgetry to remove scarring mental images so Bleeperin and related medications are out of the question.
I'm a guy who can draw stuff.
Here's the picture.
Joseph's pic will come later.
That's really good! I look forward to seeing the next one. {= )
~Neshomeh
Agent Joseph Trevor
-badfic in general: Alight, what's the damage?
-mary sues: I don't consider them human beings or true form of a living being, more like parasites leaching on canon.
-mpreg: *Enraged* WHAT!!! THIS FIC IS SO DEAD!!!
-lust objects: I want to tap that ass.
-something bad happening to his Lust Objects: Dammit! Not her!
-something squick: Okay, that's disgusting.
-Legendary Badfic: Auuuuughh! Make it stop! *bangs head on wall*
Agent Centurio
-badfic in general: Heh, let's give those pitiful sues the pain.
-mary sue: I have a digital fever and the cure for that is dead sues.
-mpreg: I just don't understand why a male meatbag is carrying a fetus, does not compute.
-lust objects: Oh yeah, that sexy bot can digital me anytime.
-something bad happening to his Lust Objects: Dammit! Not her!
-something squick: You call that disgusting, ha! I've seen worse at home.
-Legendary Badfic: Last time I tackled these monsters, I almost got 404'd or worse, crash! (* A robot's equivlant to a coma.)
They both sound pretty standard for PPC agents, with enough interesting quirks and traits to flavour your missions nicely. Nice job!
As a side note, in preparation for your Permission request, you may want to write a short non-mission piece with these two, maybe when they meet after being assigned to one another, so your Permission Giver can have a sense of how you write them personally - of course, any writing sample is fine, as the article says, but if I happen to be the PG who reads your request, I'd like to see how you handle your agents in a story.
But please, please, please, for the love of canon, get a beta to fix your grammar. Your spelling's fine, but you have fragment sentences and tense shifts and ow, it hurts. (Have I mentioned I'm an editor? I'm afraid I don't have time to offer to beta myself, but feel free to put up a post asking for help - if you wait a little while until your posts aren't the only thing at the top of the page, you can go ahead and make a new thread for it.)
Again, I think your agents are shaping up pretty nicely; good job. :)
Sorry about the grammatical errors, you can give a few recommended link to a few betas, Microsoft Word is being jerk.
Since I have a robot agent, he has strengths and weakness. Centurio's strong and fast but he's often prone to be stuck on large magnets.
I think someone asked this somewhere else, but I don't remember where or if there was an answer. I ask because knowing this might help us to help you better with the grammatical issues. {= )
I also like the agents, by the way. I don't think too many continua leave large magnets lying around, but I can imagine how awkward it would be if that happened. ^_^
~Neshomeh
...but I'm trying to improve. It's just that I have a minor case of autism which sucks so I have to rely on betas very often.
Here's another funny thing, place a small magnet on Centurio's head and he'll sing songs.
Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.
Please use them IRresponsibly!
Can two Agents from two different departmants or divisions work together?
Temporary team-ups happen quite frequently. Permanently, I think they'd get lumped into Floaters or a Freelance division.
My agents is a robot from SD Gundam and the other is a human mechanic from the real world. The robot agent tends to soak up damage very often in battle so he depended on his partner alot.
Your agents can certainly be from two different canons. One of my agent teams has one agent from Star Trek, one from His Dark Materials, and one from a Harry Potter/Firefly crossover.
(And by the way, "a lot" is two words.)
Two partners usually belong to the same department. Which departments were you thinking of?
Department of Floaters and All-Purpose Department.
I'm leaning on Floaters.
I give you the sack of Edible Lemon-Blueberry Muffins!
What are the "a few others" that you mention? And as for video games, PLEASE tell me you'll go after TF2 Suethors.
... I'm after Luigi and Peasley's Summer Blossom as my first target. I go for badfics in less popular fics. Concider that Fic mine.
It contains Mpreg, double sentences on top of the chapters, a Mary Sue (*two more added due to a request), and most of the cast is OOC while Luigi gets the worst of it.
I can't spork on Team Fortress 2 fics because I didn't played it yet.
WelcomeWelcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a bottle of diet Coke and some Mentos.
...here's the details of what kind of fandoms I'm gonna specialize on.
-Video Games in general.
-Harry Potter
-Some Cartoons
-Star Wars
-Obscure stuff I liked during my entire lifetime.
....here fans of the Gundam metaseries?
Here, have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish.
The agent in incognito suggest to a couple, usually a canon character and a sue, to a big restaurant. Alternatively, they might already go there in the fic. Once they are in their seats and dine on some food. The agent then switch their disguise as the staff, usually as waiters/waitresses and serve them. Here's some methods.
1)Poison the sue's drink, or a spike it with wierd liquid from the same Continuum for the best results.
2)Poisoing the food also works or put something extremely spicy in the dish.
3)Dropping a chandelier on the sue. (Note: Don't do this if there's civilians or canon character are under it to so check before doing this, I don't think the Flowers tolerate collateral damage to civilians or canon characters.)
4)Pretend you trip while serving food and 'accidentally' hit the sue in the face. The food should contain a knife, an explosive, or anything that is concealable.
5)Give the sue a fake check that sum up the total, make it so high. It shocks the sue, thus inducing a fatal heart attack. (Note: Don't give it to the canon character.)
6) If all else fails, use a pushcart with mundane sharp objects and impale the sue.
Also make sure that the chandelier is electrically powered, and that you cut said electricity before the bolts. We should all know the dangers of flaming light fixtures. *hums* HMMMMM hmm hmm hmm hmmmmm
...the higher up don't want excessive collateral damage or civilian casualties.
Numbers #4 and #5 might be too risky or unlikely to succeed for an agent to seriously attempt as an assassination method, but otherwise, all are perfectly viable options (though the agent would probably wait until the Sue chooses to go to a restraunt herself, rather than suggest it). Poison is a fun assasination method - you have excellent taste! Cheers!
However, as Neshomeh said above, we'd appreciate it if you would please work on your grammar a bit; your very first line, for example, has tense and prepositional issues - The agent in incognito suggest to a couple, usually a canon character and a sue, to a big restaurant
This really should be something like: The agent (in disguise*) suggests to a couple, usually a canon character and a sue, that they go to a big restaurant.
(*this could be "in disguise" or "incognito", but not "in incognito", as "in" is unnecessary)
The rock may be more useful ;)
Lovely to meet you. I see you've already been given The Links and the more important points on Permission, so I will just wave merrily and direct you towards the Secret Chocolate Stash ;p
Again, welcome!
Wow, I have wait for around a whole month to join this, that's a long tine. What should I do in the meantime?
Reply to other people's posts, make posts of your own, read missions (and comment on missions! We love comments!), get familiar with the way we operate and what is and isn't acceptable.
Good to see you, and your (future) agents! Take a bladed yo-yo!
By the way, Tomato, links are <a href="Web address">Text to display</a>
Before I could deliver the hurt to the Sues, I need to know a few things.
Aside from going into various Continua, what happens when the HQ is attacked such as the Black Cats or try to destroy the Mary Sue Factories?
You can check out the accounts of the 2008 Mary-Sue Invasion RP: http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/2008MarySue_Invasion Scroll down to the bottom.
Also, definitely read Huinesoron's stuff: http://www.freewebs.com/ppchistory/index.htm
I really need to learn how to do links properly...
There's something of a moratorium on major attacks right now, so that we can focus on what the PPC's really about: the missions, and having fun.
[a href="address"]TEXT[/a]
Just replace the "[" and "]" marks with "" marks - "address" is the url and "TEXT" is your link text. For some inane reason, it's those two I always confuse. Hope that helps.
Yay, no more ugly URLs!
To be honest, I have a text document on-hand with all these sorts of thing listed in them, because while I remember how to do italics and such, the more complex ones always escape me. I'm used to cutting-and-pasting because otherwise there'll be mistakes.
Have a free Killer Rabbit!
Hi, and welcome to insanity the PPC. Here, have a telemarketer guard, and a tank of piranhas! (the links are just so you know what I'm talking about). Anyways, don't worry about what shreds of sanity you may have left--they'll go quickly enough here.
-Honu_Wahine
You wind it up, you let it go, the 'Sue goes SQEEE and the Chibi goes KABOOOM!
TVIA: Typical Video Game Invisible Arsenal, if you were wondering.
Welcome! Here's your shiny new Frying Pan of DOOMtm, as well as a few Very Important Links you need to look over (List snerched from my own elcome post) :
So, in relative order of sensible-reading-ness, there is...
* The Original PPC Series (A MUST read, and one I'm assuming you've already done, since you've gotten this far)
The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board
The Wiki:
* The PPC Wiki (which you've hopefully already seen)
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* The Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC
Enjoy!
I'm absurdly proud to see that you snitched it ;)
Heh. I suppose it's because you made it so snerch-worthy. ^^
No problem.
In the past, I sporked a few fics but those alone are not good enough to relieve my fever and cure for that is dead Sues.
So, all I need is permission and I'll dig up tombs for badfics.
After you've been on the Board for about a month, you make a post paging the Permission Givers, including a writing sample and a profile of your agents. If the Permission Givers approve, you can then begin writing.
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Permission
I'll just wait, no biggie.
Is there any robot agents? If not, I'm gonna introduce one when I get permission.
'Borg is short for cyborg, but also can mean a robot that looks like a human (Terminators, Replicants, etc). 'Bot is short for robot, but generally means anything robotic that isn't a 'borg (Daleks, Marvin, Robby, etc.)
I think we might already have a 'borg, but I'm reasonably sure we don't have any 'bots. In any case, there are no rules prohibiting the type of character you write, so long as you write said character well.
And you mean 'are there any robot agents'.
Welcome, newbie! I give you a coxcomb. It's a sort of silly hat, with Shakespearean lineage.
Are you related to a certain dwarf?
Anyway, someone will be along the bag o' important links soon. In the meantime, enjoy this mecha-tarantula, which doubles as a wireless controller (just be careful not to grab the end with the mandibles).
Fair winds!
