I read that one. Sort of. Don't remember if I ever made it past the first "chapter." Good job killing it! And the format was interesting, but well used.

Random question: if the mission itself is written in 1st person, do the agents still need to use crash dummies?

Congrats on this first mission!
--anamia

It was fun to read a mission written in first person; I don't think I've ever seen one done that way before. I'm curious to see whether they'll all be like that, and also if Leila ends up narrating some.

Man oh man, I cannot believe the level of grammar in that fic! Most of it should have been auto-corrected by a spell check, which makes me wonder if it really was a trollfic or parody. There were enough mini-Aragogs coming out of that thing to take down one of those giant insects from a 50's horror movie!

Just here to tell you about the wonderful world of lj-cuts. Or rather, just supply you with the link to the page that will explain: http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=75

Using an lj-cut on posts on livejournal is like not putting your entire story in the summary field.

Off to reading now.

You've got quite the odd couple going there with your chirpy fangirl partnered with the seen-it-all (semi-)veteran. At first I expected her to get on his nerves, but it looks as though he's getting paternal instead. All in all, nice. He almost reminds me of one of those film noir detectives--you know, the kind of guy you hear in a voice-over going, "It was a dark and stormy night..." Matches with your first-person perspective, too.

My editor sense is tingling a bit. I see a few overused words, some minor grammar errors, and a few instances of awkward wording--nothing bad, though, and nowhere near the level where it distracts from the story. I suggest a beta reader.