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I'm staying. I need to stop giving up, and finish what I've started. No longer is this about venting my anger and disguising it as something else, it's about telling a story, and getting that story out no matter what.

I don't need to change, nor does my writing need to. What I do need to do is control myself more, and find a comfortable middle ground for me to write on. Looking back at it, all that hate and negativity was drowning out the actual intent in my writing...

Thank you all for the positive support, and thank you all for such a wonderful community with such variety, but most importantly (and perhaps ironically), thank you all for making me see that I am not a perfect writer, and denying me permission back then. It was a necessary step in my development not just as a writer, but as a better person.

But enough of that, We've got stories to write, and those sues aren't going to kill themselves!

I don't know much about this, admittedly, as I've not written any missions myself; but I don't think humor has to be silly. It can be cynical and sarcastic, if you like; there's lots of precedent for that; or it can be part of a more serious story. (Ever read the Dresden Files series? It's a prime example.) I don't know if you want to keep trying; but I do think that a big world like this takes all kinds of styles. There's a lot of room for drama between agents and in the various continua themselves without ever touching HQ or pulling other people's characters in.

As for me, if I start writing missions, I will probably make them at least somewhat serious--though the potential for poking fun at bad writing is still my main motivation. I couldn't write if it weren't at least somewhat serious; but think about this: If there weren't any humor in a serious piece, don't you risk making the drama seem over-the-top angsty? And if there isn't any seriousness to a humorous piece, doesn't it just get fluffy and inconsequential? I really think you can find a way to fit your style in.

If you don't want to do what we're doing, that's fine, no hard feelings. As others have said, if you actually enjoy the community, you're welcome to be a part of it without writing PPC stuff, since that isn't what you want.

However, I get the sense that you're blaming your unhappiness on us, for being what we are and for not changing to accommodate you. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if that is the case, your expectations are unreasonable. You can't expect others to be accountable for your happiness, here or anywhere. That's your responsibility. Whether you decide to leave or to stay, please keep that in mind. It can only help.

~Neshomeh

As others have said, you don't have to write PPC works to hang around here - I've been around for five years and only got around to finishing missions a couple of months ago, and some never write missions at all.

I don't think we're looking for someone who's going to write exactly the same way as everyone else, cause that would be boring!

Neither do I think that PPC'ing and dramatic writing are mutually incompatible - hS's Reorginisation and Crashing Down are prime examples of dramatic PPC writing.

But I think as a whole, we're comedy first, leavened with smatterings of drama, rather than the other way round.

We're probably still a little bit cautious of drama after the proceedings of the last couple of years with the overdose of Emergencies, but I think it'd be possible to write a dramatic PPC story without having Daleks invade HQ or anything like that, by focusing on character drama rather than "Mary Sue Invasion" drama.

Anyway, this is just my $0.02 - the last thing I want to do is tell you how to write, or force you to change your writing style- but hopefully food for thought?

Whether you write PPC missions or not, hope you'll stick around the board, but if not, farewell, and go with our well-wishes for your every endeavour.

Elcalion

It is better to have met for a short time, than to never have met at all.

Many of you probably won't even recognize my name because I've been gone from the boards so long, but once I was quite active in the PPC and I'm currently a long-time lurker.

To tell the truth, I can relate with you 100%, MAXinsanity. You don't see me around the boards much anymore because I'm not really sure where I fit in- I've doubted myself just like you.

I love the PPC community. I was drawn in immediately because of a mutual love for pure Lord of the Rings canon. I love this group for that, and I love missions as an idea, but I could never get myself to do it in actuality. I'm too much of a softy to pass such harsh judgement. I admire young people who are trying to express themselves in fanfiction writing. Sure, some fall flat, but they're /trying/ (and that sure counts as a lot in my book)!

Anyways, I think there is a lighter side to the PPC underneath all the "cold criticism". You guys make me smile still every now and then. I've decided to politely refrain from posting any typical missions. I'm okay with that decision, and I'm sure the PPC would be okay with that decision too.

Point is, ultimately it is your choice to go or stay. But the PPC is full of a bunch of lovelies whether or not we can always see that in ourselves. I don't think anyone wants to make you think badly about yourself or your writing.

So I offer you a nice big *e-hug* and I hope you're happy in whatever decision you make.

In fact, e-hugs all around!

-A Random Boo

My writing tends to skew dark and grim as well, but I joined the PPC hoping to branch out. However, if you don't want to do that (and that's fine - if everyone wrote the same kind of thing, all of us would be very, very bored) then definitely don't force yourself. I'm just curious as to why you think you'd have to "throw away" your work. Maybe I'm misinterpreting, but it seems you feel that once you write PPC missions, that's all you can write. I'm no expert on the rules, traditions and regulations, but I'm pretty sure that's top quality bovine sewage.
(As a side note, isn't there precedent for PPC deconstructions?)
However, all of that notwithstanding:
If you do leave, I wish that the best of everything comes your way.

T'aint a popular opinion, matey, but I'll tip any manner of headgear to you for sticking to your guns. That's the important thing, in any case.

That said, I want to ask you if you've really thought this through. There are many writing communities on the web, and they aren't mutually exclusive. You want to write something funny, go to the PPC, want to write somehting serious, you go somewhere else. Just a thought...

Fare thee well, sir, wherever the nine winds may carry thee. We're all behind you and your excellent username 100%.

You're welcome to continue reading here, even if you don't write anything with us.

You shouldn't try to force your writing to conform to anyone's standards-- not ours, not anyone's. It's alright if you don't want to write lighthearted comedy, it's alright if you're not into parody, it's alright if you don't like satire. Seriously! There is nothing wrong with drama, angst, emotional writing. Fiction, even fanfiction, is an art-- and like every other art, what it means is up to the artist. It's like John Barth's Funhouse-- if a silly mirror to you is morbid and freakish, and you don't get why everyone's laughing, that's okay. (I've always been a bit freaked out by those things myself.)

But this community isn't just for people who write crazy satire. And don't feel like if you never write a mission, you haven't accomplished anything! Please! I've been here five years or so, and I've never written a mission or an MST or, really, anything in canon except my agents' introduction drabble. At this point, I don't even really intend to. I just hang out because it's an interesting place, an interesting canon, and I happen to like the people here the conversations are eye-opening.

And I am sorry that the response to your writing was painful, Max-- I know it hurts to have something you wrote and cared about ripped up. Don't take it too much to heart-- I mean, definitely listen and absorb what you think will make you a better WRITER. If you don't want to be a PPCer, then don't worry about the PPC-centric advice. You can always ask us for concrit (on the chat, if not here), and there are plenty of us who would greatly enjoy a drama/angst/emotional fanfic in another fandom.

So, I guess my point is, don't feel like you have to leave just because you don't think your style works with the community. If you do feel like you have to leave, as Sedri said, we won't stop you. But don't think that just because you got turned down, or you don't want to write humor, we don't want you around.

Good luck, though, in whatever you choose to do.

No one should change themselves to be what other people want. If you feel you'll be happier elsewhere, believe me when I say we won't stop you from leaving. It's a shame, but it's your life, and you ought to do what makes you happy.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do next. :)