I've just decided, if I ever have a vampire OC, I'm going to name her Chagrin.

now, this is actually pretty good. Proper vampire stories, in my opinion, should always treat vampires as monsters or, if they're done well, dizzt do'urden type chaotic good characters. Except there are hundred of drizzt knockoffs now. This story represents the way a person would end up if they had from childhood a desire to kill people. Also, I like the way in which she killed that peice of shit character in a cavalcade of terrible characters. Stabbing scissors through his throat, hell yes I'd love to do that, I'd watch him suffocate to death and when he started to heal I'd do it again, and again, and again, dear god I don't think I'd ever get tired I could gut every character in twilight over and over, rip them to pieces and burn them in the good old fashioned way I would ruin them all and oh let's not forget bella that vapid waste of air Bella jesus I would give her special treatment there would be no end to the pain I would inflict on her Seriously if I spent one day in the twilight universe I would find a nuke and launch it on all of forks I would end everything EVERYTHING MAYBE EVEN ALL LIFE ON THE PLANET BECAUSE THEY SHARE THE SAME AIR AS THOSE RIDICULOUS FAILURES OF CHARACTER DESIGN DO YOU HEAR ME WORLD YOU ARE NOT SAFE YOU ARE NOT SAFE FROM MEEEEEEE

But I digress. If I had to complain about one thing, it's that the character annoys me in the same way that starcraft's kerrigan annoys me, the whole "OH HAY GUYS BTW IM EVIL NOW" face heel turn. Otherwise it was okay.

I'm amazed. You have presented something that may actually redeem the twilight fandom in some small way. Kudos to you. Not to the twilight fandom, of course. They are crazy and I still don't like THEM.

Ehh... this was... okay, I guess? It wasn't a very meaty story. Maybe that's part of its charm or something? I don't know. There's quite a bit of "seventeen/eighteen" self-banter that eats up a lot of room. All in all, the message was quite good: werewolves are sick f*cks.

I seem to have a different taste than you do. Anyway, here are the Twilight fanfics I read that I found worthwhile - either because they made the existing (not-so-good) canon better or just because they appealed to my sense of humour:

Rosalie's Revenge - Probably the best story I've seen, very long and very well-written, set almost entirely in the 1930s. I love it - much, much, much more than any of the canon novels.

The Souvenir - Short but good, for a "meet a historical figure" challenge.

Climate Change and its sequal, A Climate I Enjoy are fairly good pieces focusing on the characters of Jasper and Alice - if you're something of a romantic (like me, I admit), it's quite good.

Losing Your Way - A Halloween ghost story that's nicely done (not a thriller or action, I'm afraid, but still good).


Now the funny ones:

Brotherhood - This is, without a doubt, the funniest story I've ever read, perhaps in any fandom. It's great but, to get the full impact of the humour, you need to know the films The Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and the works of Shakespeare fairly well (though Shakespeare less so, because the humour involving his work doesn't need context to be understood). If you know them, you'll cry laughing, really.

Notes - Much less intelligent than Brotherhood, and not exceedingly well-written (and also rather out-of-character, though in the case of this fandom I suspect you don't much care), but pretty funny nonetheless.

That Darn Emmett - Also funny, but also not in overly sophisticated way.


Most things by the author Eowyn77 are good. I particularly like a series of three stories in which she fleshed out the very background characters of the Denali vampires, starting with Fair Game (the follow-up stories are more written for humour than character expansion, but I still laughed.)

She's also written Pilgrim, which was for that same "meet a historical figure" challenge, and Priority Client, which I highly recommend, as it's a clever (and slightly nerve-wracking) point-of-view piece from the perspective of the Mr Jenks who forges false passports for the family.


There's also the author whitereflections12, who writes fairly good family fluff pieces.



And... now I look like a Twilight fan. Hmph. Oh, well.