With fire, preferably. With *lots* of fire. Take a look at this--http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1159192/1/NewWorld In the first chapter, in her disclaimer section, she insults her readers by calling them stupid. Then she introduces a Warrior!Brat!Bitch!sue. Legolas sounds like a idiotic teenager from earth(on that note, so is the author). At least Thranduil isn't an evil!manipulative!bastard of a dad in this fic--thank Hades for small favors.
I'm just wondering-- how long will it take for some random elf to accidentally-on-purpose shoot the 'Sue and her men. I'm personally rooting for the latter, rather than a horrendous fangirl Legomance. Also in the first chapter, she threatens the warriors of Mirkwood, and the king, and the prince. I have to wonder why she isn't dead yet? Maybe Sauron's protecting her...
In the second chapter... well, lets just say that I wished the orcs had gotten her first. And that Kevin hadn't run out of ammo and shot his commander, also knowns as General Faith(a.k.a the 'Sue). I'm also waiting for Thranduil to throw her off a cliff, or for Legolas to beat him to the punch.
And that was when I stopped reading, because I was crying from the horror of the story.
Could someone drown me in the Fountain of Bleeprin now?
HonuWahine