Subject: I never did figure out how they got the brain out
Author:
Posted on: 2013-04-23 06:17:00 UTC
Never considered the possibility that they might break a few bones in order to do so. That makes so much sense, though.
Paid public mourners? I wouldn't mind mourning a pharaoh if they paid me for it!
I’m doodlebug, though a-rubra is one of my usual internet handles. I'm a long-time lurker hereabouts, recently started re-reading old mission reports and OFUs as a break from studying and homework. Figured I might as well stop by and introduce myself since I've been having so much fun. :)
And now, back to lurking!
Belated. Yeah. But...well...it's us! And we're welcoming you! Hello!
I have an Unspecified Plushie and some Bleep'n'ms for you!
Well, I must give you something now, mustn't I?
I offer you a virtual magical leatherskin. Imbued with magical properties to fulfill your wish, at the price of a piece of of it falling off. Be careful, if your leatherskin are all used up, all the wishes will be reverted.
Well hello! I'm relatively new here, so ya.
Nice to have you on the board. Have some bleepolate ice cream, extra chocolate! Lord knows, with all the badfics we discuss, you'll need it.
Bleepolate ice cream sounds delicious!
Welcome to the Board! Have a pie. It's probably not poisoned.
...Probably
We're glad to have you on the Board!
Please have this one (1) Fluffy Wambler. It's native to the Dwarf Fortress continuum, but lovably soft and cuddly anywhere!
See you around the Board!
I shall name it Squishy and it shall be mine and it shall be my Squishy.
Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. It's like a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, but in reverse.
Let's see ... so instead of having your brain smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped around a gold brick it's like having your brain pulled out?
Ooo sounds fun! Thank you very much.
Greetings, new friend! Have a laser-rainbow dragonfly!
NOW BACK TO HOMEWORK
Pretty colors ...
DAMN YOU HOMEWORK. I knew there was something else I was supposed to be doing!
Well, congratulations on coming out into the light! I myself could have been considered a lurker, as I spent months reading PPC missions before I introduced myself onto the Board.
But enough about me, what about you? How did you first run across the PPC? What are your fandoms? And most importantly, have you read the Original Series and the PPC Constitution?
Oh yeah, your gift! Well, given that you are a lurker...
*rummages through Pokemon-Trainer-issue bag of holding*
Have a Wobbuffet!
Thanks! I'm sure I can find a dark corner for Wobbuffet somewhere...
At the moment, Tolkien, Harry Potter, and Doctor Who are the my only stable fandoms. Hetalia might be joining the list if I ever get around to catching up on the series.
I'm pretty sure I first found out about the PPC thanks to OFUM, at least six years ago. It held my interest for a while and then I promptly forgot about it until I stumbled across the PPC page over at TV Tropes three years ago. Since then, I've been stopping by every few months to lurk. I should probably go take a look at the Constitution, I'm not sure if I've read it before...
Have some lemming repellent.
Oooh, this will be useful if I ever go digging for goodfic again!
That the "doodlebug" is one of the names of ant lions, given because of the way they create their funnel traps (It kind of looks like they're doodling around in spirals) and that ant lions look kind of awesome? And they achieve that level of awesome and funny-looking as grubs?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antlion
Not that I'm implying you're funny looking, I can't see through the internet.
So here, have a bouncy ball, a sample pack of chocolates, half a stapler, a spring, and one blue pen. See you next time you pop out of the woodwork!
Thank you for giving me nightmare fuel Wikipedia.
I did not know that! Now that I do know, I'm off to go smack a friend for saddling me with this nickname scrub those pictures from my mind with bleach.
Chocolate, gimme gimme gimme! I ran out and I need fuel for studying...
But wait, which half of a stapler did I get?
The left half. Don't ask me where the rest got to. :)
(Silly Swans, pictures of adorable bugs are for bio majors, not boarders!) Nah, sorry. I keep forgetting that I have a much higher "weird alien bug" tolerance than most people. And a higher "and this is how they make mummies!" tolerance. I was a scary little kid, I tell you.
Oh, but whenever someone says that to me I simply have to ask! :(
Oh, how do they make mummies? I read about it as a kid but I've gone and forgotten everything now.
Really, I just hate bugs in general. They're one of the only things that make me very squeamish.
If you don't like this, stop reading soon. I present to you the five step process for creating mummies!
1) The heart, lungs, stomach and liver are washed in palm wine and preserved in canopic jars along with copious amounts of natron salt. They're basically little clay jars with the faces of gods. I used to know which god went with each of the four organs, which made me popular with groups of boys at haloween, not so much the rest of the year.
2) Other organs, such as the brain, are thrown out. They didn't see much use for the large intestine (given what it was full of...) and they removed the brain by breaking through the septum and the back of the nose, then whisking around with a wire and draining the skull. King tut had his head packed with resin after that so it would stay the right shape: they didn't do that to everyone.
3) Wash everything in palm wine, pack it in natron salt for forty days inside and out in order to bring all the moisture out and kill all the bacteria.
4) Depending on the dynasty, either put the preserved organs back in or leave them in their jars while you sew the dude back up and wrap him in forty layers of bandages (the finest linen for a pharoh,) and cover him in amulets to ward off evil spirits and ensure that his Ba (part of his soul) can return.
5)Bury him with a massive procession, paid public mourners, and as many grave goods as you can stuff in a pyramid.
I hope that took your mind off the bugs. :)
Never considered the possibility that they might break a few bones in order to do so. That makes so much sense, though.
Paid public mourners? I wouldn't mind mourning a pharaoh if they paid me for it!
They paid you to make a lot of noise and grind dirt into your hair. The louder and dirtier, the better.
Here, have some corporeal shadows to hide in! *tosses shadows*
that was for you, a-rubra.
This will be useful for lurking! None of that pesky light can shine on me now.
As an unlurking day gift, I have a nickname for you!
Hmmm...Rubra, cobra, snake, Sam, fireman, hose, pants, Legolas, trees, Ents, old, slow, tortoise, hare, wig, ponytail, pony, Claire...?
Oh well, Claire it is, whether you're male, female, or anything otherwise!
Aww, but lurking is so much fun!ponytail? hose? wait how does snake relate to Sam relate to fireman? and pony to Claire?
Hmm. doodlebug the a-rubra and Claire. Or should that be Claire the doodlebug and a-rubra?
Don't lurk! Come into the light!
The light, it blinds!
It will shield your sensitive eyes while allowing you to venture into the light properly! If things get really bad I'll find you an umbrella a la Order of the Stick monster, so you can walk around in complete shadow.
It's so bright and light.
umbrella a la Order of the Stick monster?
And the Monster in the Dark looks like this.
He's the one on the far left, with the glowing yellow eyes.
It sums up the monster in the best way.
Note the dead body at the tea table.
I'm more or less some idiot, but here, have a thing!
...I don't know what it is...
On behalf of my thing collection, I thank you!
Well, if you're going to go back to lurking, take an invisibility cloak so you remain undetected.
An invisibility cloak just for lurking, how fun! I suppose that works better than hiding in a corner while being very quiet.