Welcome to the madness, have a strangely sparkly sultana that was found lurking under a keyboard. Maybe it has some Sue repelling properties?

Hello and welcome! Have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

(Sorry about this being so late...)
Welcome to the PPC! Here's a dagger set from the Raven Armory and a bottle of Bleeprin! (I hope that badfic didn't hurt too much to read. I can't bring myself to finish any of them at all. I just get to about the first or second chapter and my brain won't let me read any further.)

Hello. I'm MAXinsanity. Hopefully you'll enjoy this community.

Have a nice arsenal of Anti-Lustin weapons, just in case Luxury and/or Maeluwien comes nearby.

Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and those pesky spambots that pop up every now and again. Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

Help yourself to your favorite venomous arthropod!

*pokes ceremonially*

And don't grovel. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's grovelling--it's just like those miserable psalms: they're sooo depressing.

What're you doing now?!

~Neshomeh (who apologizes if you are unfamiliar with Monty Python).

Nice to see another newbie on here, and for the new boarder my welcoming gift is a nice thick copy of 'Common Sense and where to find it. (Hint: Not a sue-fic)' By Mr. Ed. In hard-cover of course to quell any fangirl-ish tendencies.

Oh and a nice big bottle of Bleeprin. Trust me, you'll need it.

Sincerely,

~Bronwyn

I was gonna provide a bucket for you to put your sanity in, but it seems that they be stealin mah bukkit. Noooo! Well, anyway, have some coconuts. 'Bye now, I need to go and beat Honu_Wahine with a stick.

I bestow upon you a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. Use them well, o new person.

And welcom to the madhouse PPC!

Have a softnose laser. You can use it to get real Sue eyes to put in a jar. XD

-Gathers all gifts and hordes them possessively- All mine. -cue evil laughter-

Ahem, yeah... moving on...

Thanks for the welcome. Very glad to meet all of you!

--anamia

p.s. No, 'Sue eyes aren't a habit of mine, nor are they likely to become so. As I say, I'm bad at them and trying always makes me crack up, which kills the effect... 'Sides, they'll get me killed, and being killed right after joining would be bad.

I gift you with oddly mutated strawberries; they may grow legs and wander off, but that's okay, they should still be edible. Or you can keep them as pets.

I see you don't need The Links (presuming you've read the Permission article?), so I'll get right on to giving you a Capillary Towel, a Transdimensional Pocket Knife, and a paperweight. Use them well.

Always nice to meet someone new :)

Hi, welcome to the boards. Don't worry, everyone here is crazy (*what do you mean, I'm exaggerating?!*) A note--don't use Sueperpowers, and abandon your sanity. To that end (and because no one's offered it yet), here's a bucket for your sanity. Don't worry, the Wargs won't eat *all* of it.
Honu_Wahine
PS-Don't ever, ever, *on your life*, read C*l*br**n. I did, and I'm still having nightmares....

Oh! Hello! Wonderful! A newbie arrives while I'm on the school computers! Lucky you; the last umpteen newbies have missed a greeting from me. *smiles smarmily* Welcome, welcome!

I hereby gift you with an unsolvable Rubix cube, a plastic model of the Millennium Falcon, and a sock full of rocks. I'm sure you'll find use for them somehow.

Word of advice... don't make a habit of the Sue eyes. The more homicidal of us don't take kindly to them...

We tend to give rather strange gifts around here.