The first gift you see is a brilliant story of Lord of the rings, and girl NOT named Lorrie, though mary-sue she is not, she falls into Arda while trying to figure out if its all just bad karma:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1690622/1/DontPanic

The second you see 'tis not by me, though done in absolute jest, for its story of an ainur who turned the bad switch in his head on*. yes tis none other then Dark lord Sauron, whom I confess does win, though requires a KOSS, and horse for 'din-din':

<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2846145/1/IWONIWONNEENERNEENERNEENERRR">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2846145/1/IWONIWONNEENERNEENER_NEENERRR

The third bout of giving is done by a grandson of Cheese yes none other then a certain Master Python named Cleese:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-uNQ2oQACk

And there my friends, the gift giving ends as this newbie now hopes you'll enjoy! But now do not fret for I've left you all large chests of bleeprin and and bleepka! Oh boy!

P.S. sorry for the horrible poetry but really it wouldn't be be Chris- I mean Newtonmas** without someone embarrassing themselves horribly while getting very drunk. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a daquiri around here with my name on it.

*Spike Milligan reference: Sir Nobonk and the Terrible Dreadful Awful Naughty Nasty Dragon
**Oh and Happy very belated Birthday Sir Issac Newton!