Here, have some Bleep'n'ms and an Unspecified Plushie!

Have some Bleep Blap! It's teh bleeprin version of kit kat! 98% arsenic free!

We all have those brain farts. Anyway, welcome to the board.

May I present you with a pint of bleepolite chocolate ice cream, with extra chocolate? I think I've finally got the formula down. Eh, everyone I feed it to seems to enjoy it.

Welcome to the board! Have a replacement vocabulary to replace you're lost one.

It's okay, the PPC can do that. Welcome to the Board!
Please have this one (1) Fluffy Wambler. It's native to the Dwarf Fortress continuum, but lovably soft and cuddly anywhere!
See you around the Board!

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Totally not related to the Resonance Cascade.

Since you're a Mario fan too, I'd like to add a Fire Flower to your growing pile of e-gifts!

Greetings new friend! Have a Voidshard!

And then embrace the stillness of eternity!

How did you first run across the PPC?

Wow, quite a few fandoms! And some of overlap with mine, too!

But before I go any further, the obligatory newbie gift!
*rummages through Pokemon-verse bag of holding*
Ta-dah! Have a Pokemon Adventures-verse Ditto, able to transform into anything that it has seen at will, not just whatever is in front of it.

Have some lemming repellent!

Currently on Mission 8 of the Original Series. Besides that, I've read most of Redwall missions done by Laburnum.

Also, would it be rather excessive to put a Sue in Pathfinder's Plane of Earth, plant some explosives, and cause a cave-in while singing and playing "Can't Stop the Rock" on accordion?

Or is that just ridiculous enough?

I'll be writing a while. Redwall, Old Kingdom/Abhorsen, Inheritance, Harry Potter, Sonic the Hedgehog, Mario, Pokémon, Legend of Zelda, Kirby, Metroid, Halo, Asura's Wrath, MLP: Friendship is Magic (formerly), Mischief Makers, Marvel Cinematic Universe (for some reason, I think bog-standard comics aren't nerdy ENOUGH for me), Hellsing, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Dragon Ball Z, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, Yotsuba&!, Garfield, Calvin and Hobbes, FoxTrot, Vocaloid, Touhou, Transformers, Star Wars, Doctor Who, Disney Animated Canon, Questionable Content, Menage a 3, El Goonish Shive, Sayonara Zetsubou-Sensei, Daily Life with Monster Girl, Katawa Shoujo, League of Legends, Awkward Zombie, the Order of the Stick, Pathfinder, and Tremors.

And that's just off the top of my head.

I'm a newbie too!

Here, have a pillow to hide all your gifts under!

Although I'll probably forget it, but eh, I like giving weird nicknames nobody uses.

Let's see...
Voyd, space, blank, bloom, fuchsia, lady, Sealand, fort, pillow, feather, dinosaur, excavate, archaeology, Layton, puzzles, Legend of Zelda, Nintendo, Kirby, penguin, suit, costume, superhero, Captain America, shield, Shieldon...?
Darn it, that was far too long. Oh well, looks like you're going to be Shieldon, for about three posts until I forget it. Hope you like cute things!

What are your fandoms?

Here, have two bouncy balls, three art pencils, two packets of hot cocoa, and this shiny plastic bag!

Welcome to the board. Most members (including myself) are mostly harmless, unless bearing badfic. :)

Nice to have you here! Here, take these cookies. Don't mind the bits of burnt flesh.

Have a cap gun that eliminated a black hole from existence once. It's broken now, but it used to do that kind of thing all the time.

Wiki link! That's the link to the Board Consitution, which everybody should read and at least one person posts in every newbie thread.

Recapture your vocabulary with this psionic scanner! It's got to be hiding around here somewhere. If it reveals the mental signatures of someone hiding in your house, that's just a bonus! Well, finding them is a bonus. Not them being there. Make sure you find out why they're in your house if you detect any.