1069 - When on 'Enterprise'-era Trekverse missions, I will not stash dead fish, salami, garlic or any kind of cheese in T'pol's quarters. Poor woman has enough to deal with without her super sense of smell being assaulted as well.

1070 - It is considered bad form to turn up to bandslash missions in 'Cheer Up Emo Kid' t-shirts. The fact that most bandslash features emo bands and angst is not an excuse. It is not ironic, it is just taking cheap pot-shots at people who are helpless to defend themselves.

1071 - I swore to protect canon characters against Suethors. Not against each other. Interrupting canonical battles is a no-no.

1072 - Nanites cannot cure embarrassing diseases. I should go to Medical before attempting any home cures for things I may have contracted on missions.

1073 - Cross-species male pregnancy is canonical in the Trekverse. I should therefore be very careful about any extended contact of any nature with alien species whether I am male or female.

1074 - Decapitation cannot be fixed with duct-tape. See 1072.

1075 - My partner is not my 'heterosexual life partner'.

1076 - Any attempt to steal and use the Pick of Destiny by musically-inclined Agents will result in immediate loss of privileges. Like unbroken fingers. HQ does not need a seven-foot-tall incarnation of Beelzebub ringing Response Centres in amplifiers and demanding demonic heavy-metal contests in order to regain his body parts. Apart from anything else, you won't win.