Does it include ...

Subject: Does it include ...
Author: Laburnum
Posted on: 2009-10-03 11:37:00 UTC

... unnecessary and physically implausible acts of violence, utter anatomy fail, random references to unicorns (speaking of which, go buy Spellsinger like NOW - it's freakin' awesome and it doesn't deserve what Chaser Wolf did with it), nauseatingly cutesy heroic vermin girls who convert others to the side of good through their sheer cuteness (normal-levels-of-cute sorta-not-so-bad vermin like the ones in "Loamhedge" are awesome, though), or any lines like "then he shot a beam from his paw which the rat teleported away from"? Because if not, it's not nearly horrifying enough.

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Greetings by competitive_fencer on 2009-10-02 22:09:00 UTC Reply

Hello, I'm Maslab and a newbie to the world of PPC.
I got my first taste of PPC when my friend sent me a link to Laburnum's Mossflower Science Theater. The only reason I actually read it was because I couldn't stop laughing.
I then went on to read the PPC missions for That Series, and enjoyed them as well.
I have written Halo and Redwall fanfiction. It just so happens that I think my Halo work is better than my Redwall work.

welome by kitsune106 on 2009-10-09 20:11:00 UTC Reply

welcome to the PPC.

nice. so, what do you think of skyfire and stormsong? if i may ask? and hope you have fun here.

Thankee by Maslab on 2009-10-09 20:29:00 UTC Reply

Thanks. I like Skyfire's ability to understand Stormsong, at least in the spoken sense.

Welcome! by Aztec on 2009-10-04 23:11:00 UTC Reply

Welcome! Here, have a 'tpyo' you'll see plenty of them in this line of work!

Awww... by Maslab on 2009-10-07 05:45:00 UTC Reply

Why thnak you!

Hi! by Caestus on 2009-10-04 15:19:00 UTC Reply

Yo! Welcome to insanity! I'm a fan of Halo too.

Re: Hi! by Maslab on 2009-10-04 17:05:00 UTC Reply

Awesome! Someone who'll actually get it when I start having problems with Sangheili naming conventions!

Hello! by tabbycat on 2009-10-04 07:53:00 UTC Reply

Nice to meet you *waves enthusiastically*
Here, have some chocolate-flavoured chocolate :D (it's like normal chocolate, only more so).

*is a chocaholic* by Maslab on 2009-10-04 07:57:00 UTC Reply

Ooh, amazing.
*offers to be tabbycat's slave for more*

Heh, heh, heh... by tabbycat on 2009-10-05 06:41:00 UTC Reply

...don't worry, no need to sell your soul into slavery...yet... *evil grin*

*hands over more chocolate* Because more chocolate is always a good thing :D

Why yes by Maslab on 2009-10-05 06:55:00 UTC Reply

Yes it is.
Except for maybe my complexion.

True, true, by tabbycat on 2009-10-05 07:21:00 UTC Reply

And also possibly for my waistline *looks rueful*

No more... by Maslab on 2009-10-05 16:14:00 UTC Reply

I don't want a compendium of what's wrong with chocolate. It'd ruin the experience.

Hi there! by Sara on 2009-10-03 21:03:00 UTC Reply

Let's see...*rummages through bag*...aha! Here! Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs, but author wraiths and those pesky spambots. Use it for good and not ~~much~~ evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy your stay.

Re: Hi there! by Maslab on 2009-10-03 21:28:00 UTC Reply

Why thank you! It's even better as we have chickens out back.
*goes to check for eggs*

Hello! by Cinnia Aine on 2009-10-03 17:52:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a set of archery equipment from the Raven Armory! It's especially useful for killing Sues! (I did, technically, filch them off a Sue after all.)

Re: Hello! by Maslab on 2009-10-03 18:03:00 UTC Reply

Awesome. Can the arrows pierce powered assault armor that come equipped with shields?
If they can't then I may just have to come up with something else :)

Good question. by Cinnia Aine on 2009-10-04 03:05:00 UTC Reply

They're weapons, um, "borrowed" from a Sue. They've been modified so that they can fight against Sues. Go figure. (In other words, yes. However, pretty much the only limit on it is that the archery weaponry won't work in zero gravity because the arrows will just slow down and miss.) :)

Re: Good question. by Maslab on 2009-10-04 03:08:00 UTC Reply

Why would they slow down in zero gravity? That would actually be easier to aim, as there's no atmosphere to affect your aim and no gravity to arc the arrow. And it's frictionless once it leaves the bow, there'd be absolutely no change until it hit something.

Erm... by Cinnia Aine on 2009-10-04 15:27:00 UTC Reply

*suddenly remembers semi-bad physics grade* Maybe because it's a Sue weapon and likes slow motion sequences? Right, right, that's a stupid answer. I don't know. You win. I guess it has no boundaries.

Re: Erm... by Maslab on 2009-10-04 17:03:00 UTC Reply

Well... time is relative. In a Sue world I guess that would actually be plausible. Especially considering time passes slower for Spartans due to their incredibly heightened reflexes.
Of course, I'd still rather have an anti-matter rifle.

Anti-Matter rifle? by (name here) on 2009-10-04 20:35:00 UTC Reply

In addition to the fact that I don't recall halo having antimatter weaponry, thus causing a bit of a problem, antimatter weaponry is not known for being good against shields.

If you're willing to go for extra-canonical stuff, some continuums have specialized anti-shield weaponry. Failing that, just go for the plasma guns.

Re: Anti-Matter rifle? by Maslab on 2009-10-04 20:48:00 UTC Reply

Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's a couple continuums. Power drainers and neural disruption collars would probably work just fine, though.
The Covenant do use Antimatter charges, though.
*checks Halo wiki* But you're right, I stand corrected. No antimatter rifles. I must have been thinking anti-material.

Have a Bengal Tiger! by WikiMaster on 2009-10-03 12:20:00 UTC Reply

And several Chainswords.

Re: Have a Bengal Tiger! by Maslab on 2009-10-03 17:32:00 UTC Reply

That sounds like fun.

Why, hello, good sir! by PitViperOfDoom on 2009-10-03 06:29:00 UTC Reply

Yes, Laburnum's MSTs are really something, aren't they? Heheh...

Well, I am PitViperOfDoom, frequent Boarder and she who introduced the Happy Tree Friends fandom to the PPC. Unless somebody did it before me. I dunno. I never saw HTF PPC missions before, so... yeah.

Whatever. I gift you with a dead horse joke. Have a weighted companion cube.

Re: Why, hello, good sir! by Maslab on 2009-10-03 06:43:00 UTC Reply

They are. And I would happily let her PPC my Redwall fanfic if she wanted. It probably deserves it.
I repay your gift with a blond joke. And a furnace.

Does it include ... by Laburnum on 2009-10-03 11:37:00 UTC Reply

... unnecessary and physically implausible acts of violence, utter anatomy fail, random references to unicorns (speaking of which, go buy Spellsinger like NOW - it's freakin' awesome and it doesn't deserve what Chaser Wolf did with it), nauseatingly cutesy heroic vermin girls who convert others to the side of good through their sheer cuteness (normal-levels-of-cute sorta-not-so-bad vermin like the ones in "Loamhedge" are awesome, though), or any lines like "then he shot a beam from his paw which the rat teleported away from"? Because if not, it's not nearly horrifying enough.

Re: Does it include ... by Maslab on 2009-10-03 17:33:00 UTC Reply

No utter anatomy fail, but the main hero is inexplicably fast. I thought I could get away with that after Taggerung.
And I do try to keep some form of logic in my sentence structure.
I may just check out Spellsinger. You do seem to like it just as much as Redwall.

More so, possibly ... by Laburnum on 2009-10-04 12:07:00 UTC Reply

... because Spellsinger has a lot more sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. Imagine Narnia with all the Christian symbolism replaced with seventies rock music.

Whatever Chaser Wolf thought, Mudge never did screw the unicorn, in case you're wondering. Shame, but there you go. I doubt he'd want to be related to a Skipper of Otters either, Mossflower's otters are too darn goody-goody. Reminds me, I was thinking when my exorcists kill that fic (gotta do it sometime) they portal back into the Spellsinger universe to check that everything's normal there, and Stormsong accidentally discovers he can spellsing. It'll only work in the Spellsingerverse, because otherwise A) he'd suddenly be ridiculously overpowerful and B) causing magical effects whenever one sings would actually be horrifically inconvenient, but if there's a suitably big canon break while he's at work it may start working again because of the damage to the fabric of reality. Or something. I thought it'd be funny, anyway.

Hmmm by Maslab on 2009-10-04 17:07:00 UTC Reply

*raised eyebrow* Everything a growing teen needs (no, I don't know how old you are, so forgive me if you're not a teen).
Well, I ordered the first book from paperbackswap, so I should be getting it and reading it in a week or so, I hope.

Well, I'm technically no longer a teen, but ... by Laburnum on 2009-10-04 18:19:00 UTC Reply

... I've only been a non-teen for a fortnight or so (I turned twenty on the 17th), so close enough, and I was a teen while I was reading them for the first time ^_^ I just got the seventh book out of the eight in the series ("Son of Spellsinger") with my birthday money. Yay!

Y'know, it's fun to see if one can come up with songs which would be suitable for casting certain spells. I gotta admit I'm not good at that because most of my favourite songs are by the Decemberists, who mostly do songs about gory deaths or the hard lives of the poor or tragic love or similar fun topics, all set to inappropriately happy tunes. (For example, "The Chimbley Sweep" has the catchiest tune ever but the lyrics are really depressing - I'm still wondering whether it's actually supposed to be about an underage male prostitute, because the last verse sure sounds like it, but they're still depressing even if it isn't.) Most of them wouldn't be much use for spell casting. I'd particularly struggle at the points in the later books when Jon-Tom tries to conjure up a boat, because all the songs I know about boats and ships involve them sinking ...

Okay then... by Maslab on 2009-10-04 18:26:00 UTC Reply

Happy belated birthday!
Anyway, I just suck at writing lyrics, and I say that without any regret. Every so often I go back and read what I wrote for my Redwall fanfic, and every time I do it makes me wince something terrible.

I'm working on the TVTropes page ... by Laburnum on 2009-10-05 22:17:00 UTC Reply

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Spellsinger If you spot any more, add 'em in. May contain spoilers.

The Spellsingers don't have to write lyrics, they can just pick appropriate songs that they already know. Jon-Tom discovers his power by playing "Purple Haze" and getting a lot of purple smoke. I know a few which would be useful during a battle (Heather Alexander's "March of Cambreadth", Slipknot's "Pulse of the Maggots", etc) but in everyday circumstances ... I could get Jon-Tom home, though. See "Los Angeles, I'm Yours"; if it didn't bring him home, it'd make him stop wanting to go back there. (It's a Decemberists song about how horrible Los Angeles is. Yeah, they're a weird band.)

Alright by Maslab on 2009-10-05 22:24:00 UTC Reply

Uh... spot anymore what?
"Indestructible" and "Ten Thousand Fists" by Disturbed would be very useful, I would imagine.

Any more tropes to fill in. by Laburnum on 2009-10-05 22:36:00 UTC Reply

Go read the main TVTropes.org page, it'll help you get a lot of injokes in fandom-type circles.

"Culling of the Fold" might be useful for an assassination, but beyond that I can think of no practical use for any Decemberists songs unless one finds oneself in dire need of an 1800s hooker (well, Mudge could probably find a use for one) or a giant ship-eating whale. Why are all my favourite songs depressing or violent? No wonder I had so many emotional problems in my teen years. Nine Inch Nails is pretty useless too. I could probably eventually find a song for any situation, but what impresses me about Jon-Tom is that he does it WITHOUT the benefit of a lyrics website with a search engine.

Will do by Maslab on 2009-10-05 22:57:00 UTC Reply

Alright.

I take it Jon-Tom is someone special?

Jon-Tom is the Spellsinger. by Laburnum on 2009-10-05 22:58:00 UTC Reply

His name is actually Jonathan Thomas Meriweather, but Mudge the otter can't pronounce it and calls him Jon-Tom.

So I was right... by Maslab on 2009-10-05 23:06:00 UTC Reply

Just not in the sense I thought he was.

Welcome! *proffers the plate of lembas* (nm) by The Trojanhorse on 2009-10-03 04:38:00 UTC Reply

Re: Welcome! *proffers the plate of lembas* by Maslab on 2009-10-03 06:44:00 UTC Reply

Oh I couldn't. Too full, thanks.

First plover! by Tawaki on 2009-10-03 02:33:00 UTC Reply

BTW, will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or a Response Center?

Not sure by Maslab on 2009-10-03 02:37:00 UTC Reply

I haven't decided yet, as I haven't found any PPC missions involving a TARDIS. Do you have one to recommend?

As a side note.. by Maslab on 2009-10-03 01:18:00 UTC Reply

I would like to apologize in advance for any bad jokes I make.
Yay! by Laburnum on 2009-10-03 00:36:00 UTC Reply

Let us drink raspberry-flavoured beer in celebration. (Pads introduced me to it, and I think it sounds very Redwallish.) You may also enjoy this if you haven't seen it already: http://lycaenion.livejournal.com/tag/sporking Everything you need to know about the fic sporked therein is contained in the line "then he shot a beam from his paw which the rat teleported away from".

If you ever wanna borrow the Mossflower Science Theatre's Death Pit Theatre setting, you're free to do so. The basic idea belongs to the people who made MST3K, of course.

Cheer by Maslab on 2009-10-03 01:15:00 UTC Reply

*Has a drink*
Ahhh... Good stuff *hic*
Thankee, although I think most of my PPC work would be in the Halo-verse.

Hello, small mammal. by Maudlin Hart on 2009-10-03 00:09:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't have much need of it here. Also, here's a dribbly black candle on a skull. Use it for evil or at least slight naughtiness, because those things are pretty much useless for good.

Hello, eagle by Maslab on 2009-10-03 01:17:00 UTC Reply

*deposits a grain of rice in the bucket*
Wasn't much left, anyway.
Thanks. I'll use it to help keep my soul alive.

Err... screech? by Maudlin Hart on 2009-10-04 01:00:00 UTC Reply

Why am I an eagle? I was quoting one of the Stupid Rat Creatures...

Well... by Maslab on 2009-10-04 01:03:00 UTC Reply

Because I'm a small mammal (newb) and you're a bird of prey (non-newb), and I am at your mercy.

Oh, okay! by Maudlin Hart on 2009-10-05 01:12:00 UTC Reply

You are at my mercy! RAWR! *pounces upon the n00b and hugs it*

Oh dear... by Maslab on 2009-10-05 01:29:00 UTC Reply

What to do... uh...
*hugs back*

"Oh dear"! by Maudlin Hart on 2009-10-06 00:21:00 UTC Reply

Is every one of my posts on this board going to be responded to with "Oh, dear" as the subject? I mean, Meir Brin and now you... hehe

Yes, dear by Maslab on 2009-10-06 02:32:00 UTC Reply

I suppose so!

Oh, please, say it in French! (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2009-10-07 01:28:00 UTC Reply

*doesn't know french* by Maslab on 2009-10-07 01:36:00 UTC Reply

Ummm... Yo no se.

Ahh, mon petit chou... by Maudlin Hart on 2009-10-07 02:00:00 UTC Reply

I don't speak Spanish. We're square.

Re: Ahh, mon petit chou... by Ansela on 2009-10-07 11:24:00 UTC Reply

Signs you've been spending too long in an animanga fandom: 'chou' automatically translates as 'butterfly' in your head.

Things Not To Do XVII by Maudlin Hart on 2009-10-08 00:32:00 UTC Reply

Do Not confuse the French and Japanese meanings of the word 'chou'.

Good by Maslab on 2009-10-07 02:12:00 UTC Reply

Good. Let's dance.

*drags Maslab into a Waltz Of Death* (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2009-10-08 00:34:00 UTC Reply

*can't get away* by Maslab on 2009-10-08 00:48:00 UTC Reply

Alright, this is one dance that I am not going to stop...
*dances more than he's ever danced in his life. Which, after five minutes, is true*

Re: *can't get away* by Maudlin Hart on 2009-10-09 00:10:00 UTC Reply

When the Chicken-Dance music started playing, all was lost...

*does a Darth Vader* by Maslab on 2009-10-09 00:11:00 UTC Reply

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NO0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O? by Maudlin Hart on 2009-10-10 00:20:00 UTC Reply

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BigNo

Damn you... by Ansela on 2009-10-10 10:33:00 UTC Reply

There goes my morning...
*is melodromatic* by Maslab on 2009-10-10 00:25:00 UTC Reply

Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOD!
I cannot escape the BEEEAAAK!

Welcome! Have a Transdimensional Pocket Knife. :) by Sedri on 2009-10-03 00:09:00 UTC Reply

Very useful for sporking missions.

Re: Welcome! Have a Transdimensional Pocket Knife. :) by Maslab on 2009-10-03 01:17:00 UTC Reply

Why thank you. I'm sure it will come in useful.

Welcome. Here's a tall ship. by khajidu on 2009-10-02 23:14:00 UTC Reply

If it goes on like this, my stock is going to be depleted very fast...
No, no, I was kidding, always plenty of them around, lol.

Ossim by Maslab on 2009-10-02 23:18:00 UTC Reply

Now I can sail around the world by myself!
Nice to meet you.

Yes, you can. by khajidu on 2009-10-03 10:09:00 UTC Reply

*tries to get out of Obama mode right now* *ahem*
Nice to meet you.

Re: Yes, you can. by Maslab on 2009-10-03 10:53:00 UTC Reply

Thanks! I see everyone here knows how to welcome a newcomer...