Do you like the new version of Battlestar Galactica? You know, the one without capes and unicorns and Random Shiny Cylons?

If you do, then we have something in common.

And by the way, have a graduated cylinder. :D

Welcome, and have a shapeshifting plushie.

*poor british accent* 'Ello, mate! I make it a point to greet the newbies, unless I miss them, so welcome!

Have a cookie! Just don't eat it...

BTW, will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or a Response Center.

Sadly I don't have anything to give you.

Nice to meetcha! You, being a newbie-person, may have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object to welcome you into our ranks. Use them well.

:D

Nice to meet you :D Here, have a glow-in-the-dark spork *hands it over* TV Tropes seems to be a very popular way of learning about this place (that was my introduction, too).

*poke* *poke*

Like Sedri said, it's traditional. And so is this. *throws Special Lembas at you*

But seriously, welcome. Don't quote tropes every other sentence and we'll get along just fine. {= )

~Neshomeh

Welcome to the PPC! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't be needing it here.

I gift you with an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but spambots and those pesky author wraiths, too. Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a special battleaxe from the Raven Armory. It's good for killing all Sues.

Don't touch those three, I need my Agents.
Whatever, Krisprolls and South are happy to welcome you and any Agents you might have.

Welcome. :) Don't mind the poking; it's tradition. Lovely to meet you. Please don't bother trying to maintain your sanity - it is already doomed. Thank you.