I am looking for a good sue test. Things to look for, things not to. For example the following character,

Philip Martins (Longish swords-master, exiled)
Age 27
Hight 5" 9
Weight: Never Given
Position of Swords-master: In the Longish court the swords-master is normally the bodyguard of the heir to the throne. Over the years the position has grown so that the swords-master, while remaining the most skillful swordsman in the empire (at least in theory) has also commanded armies for the king. Philip Martins broke all records when he was appointed swords-master at the age of 22.

Back story to exile: Philip Martins was swords-master to the King of Longen for three years before he was exiled for a sexual relationship with the then 20 year old daughter of the Duke of Gibsgone. The duke, a hardened catholic in his beliefs was horrified that his daughter was engaging in sex outside marriage and blamed the older swords-master for abusing his position of trust and used all of his political power to bring about the ruin of the swords-master

Philip Martins' back story: He was born in the capital of the Longish empire to a whore and a soldier. Both his parents died or abandoned him before he was five and he was forced to live on the street. The Longish empire has the practice of rounding up street boys every few years in order to train them to become the elite units of their army. Philip was rounded up along with hundreds of others. He displayed great speed and ability to learn in early training and when he was ten he was sent along with the cream of his round up to a training camp in the Villious Hills. There he was trained in the sword, bow and knifes (both throwing and hand held). His skill soon out stripped his fellow trainees and he was sent, now 13, to the aging swords-master for training. He was appointed swords-master at the age of 21.

Dress: As a swords-master he is dressed in light mail which falls to his knees, with light plate covering his shoulders and belly. This is covered by a white tunic normally.

Further story. Philip Martins completes a quest to find a sword of magical ability and is recalled to the Longish Court with all his position and rights restored. He becomes a close friend of Queen Ashara (the princess he was body guard to during his first term as swords-master.) In Queen Ashara's court he uses his influence to rehabilitate Commander Vivan Vicbarr, a commander whose skill is undeniable, but whose political ties see him in rebellion. He also uses his position to help Commander Martindale (the commander that defeated Vicbarr's rebellion) to reform the Longish army. Queen Ashara appoints him duke of Sigerman when that duke dies without heir in an effort to shore up the political dangerous area of the empire. During the civil war that follows the death of Queen Ashara (between her daughter and son who were born twins) Philip declares for the daughter. Both Philip Martins and Commander Martindale are killed at the Battle of Cave Hill where the daughter's army, of which he was one of the primary leaders is out flanked and destroyed by the son's army lead by Commander Vicbarr.