I enjoyed that quite a lot, particularly the way it flowed so nicely :)

If I had one quibble, it would be simply that I found your site extremely hard to read (I have poor eyesight and white text on dark backgrounds does my head in) and so I prevailed upon Pads to share the Gdoc with me so that I could read it without pain :) Thus my one suggestion would be, next time, dark text on light background? Pretty please?

What was lj complaining about, by the way? Because it suddenly occurs to me that you had that mental voice within and lj will assume that's a crazy tag and it'll spaz right out.

I liked it, though I agree with the things IndeMaat pointed out--it's unclear what's going on some of the time. In addition, I have to ask, was that a little encounter with one of the occupants of RC #999 at the beginning? I imagine that would be an easy mistake to make. *g*

~Neshomeh

Nice mission.
Some nitpicks.

All the paragraphs have a one space indentation. I only noticed the indentation on my second look at story. I don't think it's necessary to indent when leaving a blank line between paragraphs.

“You’re my new partner, then?” she asked cheerfully, ignoring how naked she was.

“Nadine Moreno,” she said awkwardly, nodding.

Two things here: (1) in both sentences a "she" is referred to, both they are two different people. A little more distinction would be nice. (2) "Ignoring how naked she was" is Jodi's POV, while up to that point everything had been Nadine's POV. Some people (I imagine mainly those that have read a lot about keeping POVs consistent) would find such a switch jarring. (It's much later that Nadine notices she can follow her partner's POV, which I find a great escape for POVs that sometimes wander.)

Guessing that she was finished getting dressed, Nadine turned around and saw her sitting on the edge of one of the bookshelves.

Blame my high-school education for this one: whenever I see "she" I think the antecedent is the last female mentioned previously. In this case Nadine. Which made this sentence confusing on first reading it. Changing "she" with Jodi or the girl would sort that.

“Hey, if you’re going to clean for me, it’s fine with me,” Jodi said. Nadine smiled slightly, and nodded.

“Do you know when we’re going on our next mission?” she asked, sitting back on the bed and pulling off her boots. Her partner grinned.

The people that say, "start a new paragraph when a new person starts speaking" are not entirely right. A new paragraph can (should, depending on how strict you are) start when a new person starts acting or speaking. Which means that when a person first acts and then says something then that can be done in the same paragraph. In the above example:

“Hey, if you’re going to clean for me, it’s fine with me,” Jodi said.

Nadine smiled slightly, and nodded. “Do you know when we’re going on our next mission?” she asked, sitting back on the bed and pulling off her boots.

Her partner grinned. (...)

Could you make direct quotes from the fic stand out in some way (putting them in italics, bracketting them, opening the paragraph with a minus sign) so that a distinction can be made between what you wrote and what came from the fic?

After the impostors are apprehended Nadine seems to take charge of the situation and Jodi, her more experienced partner, just waits around for her. This seems unlikely for a seasoned agent and a cat-person. I imagine neither to be good at following orders. Waiting impatiently because their partner had run off with the equipment they needed, that I can imagine.

Definitely a good mission - that fic sounded horrendous.

The Agents seem to promise a lot of interesting events in the future, too. They certainly intrigued me, anyway.