Because I’m a total wacko, I ignored writing one of my many, many in progress fics to start a new one, a possible short series of short stories. I’m asking for a beta. It’s a Star Wars story, but it’s set just before The Old Republic, BioWare’s upcoming MMO. While I usually want to write something for unreleased games or films, never before have I just sat down and wrote without anything backing me up but a vague timeline, a single piece of concept art (albeit sodding awesome) and a trailer (that, obviously, does Attack of the Clones better than Attack of the Clones did). Regardless, I came up with a prologue to my story and I’m looking for someone to tell me how to improve it (and probably come up with a better title).

As next to nothing is known about The Old Republic, any Star Wars beta reader should be fine, but a vague knowledge of Knights of the Old Republic might be helpful (though unlikely). All you really need to know is that the Sith just came back and just totally pwned Coruscant and the Jedi Order. Thanks in advance,
Jade