You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: To find knowledge, you must first seek the bagel of enlightenment
Stranger: mmm bagels
Stranger: yummy
Stranger: and moist
You: They are sweet indeed, yet beware! for the salad of temptation lies hidden
Stranger: nobody likes salad.
Stranger: silly billy
Stranger: person
Stranger: called bill
You: Who would? And yet, the diaphanous willow basks in the smoke, untroubled by the cream cheese of existance
Stranger: haha
Stranger: ok you win.
Stranger: heres a cookie.
Stranger: now get out of my internet!
You: Which is more enlightened - the cookie, or the hand that creates it?
Stranger: It depends on if the hand was washed before making the cookie.
Stranger: I DONT WANT NO SWINE FLU
You: Verily, for the grime of malfiecience pmay penetrate even the cleanest abode
Stranger: ... Yes.
Stranger: No comment.
You: There's not really much you can say to that, is there?
Stranger: NO
Stranger: NOW GET OUT OF HERE DAMN IT
Stranger: i told you already
Stranger: clogging up my tubes
You: Are the tubes clogged, or is the flow merely stemmed as the straight daffodil is stemed in the spring?
Stranger: Ask ted stevens he might know...
You: Forsooth, you are a fount of wisdom
Stranger: he looks like my grandpa
Stranger: kinda scary
Stranger: ...
Stranger: im sick of your nonsense
Stranger: BYE. :(
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

The first person I ran into was Korean. We exchanged book recommendations ^_^

I particularly like the idea of quoting Bloodninja every time someone tries to solicit some cybering. Although trolls (frequently /b/tards) sound like a big problem from what I've read. Might bother people there sometime.